Sleep Support for Babies and Toddlers

Waking up at night

• Arielle D. Hi Roomasa, 9 hours overnight is very low for a baby this age. My guess would be that he's overtired. At his age, I typically recommend a schedule like the following: Nap 1 around 9 a.m. Nap 2 around 1 p.m. Optional nap 3 (if there is time) around 2 hours after waking from second nap but ending no later than 5 p.m. Bedtime about 2 hours after waking from third nap I believe your son is overtired. When a baby is overtired, his brain fills with cortisol, adrenaline, and norepinephrine. These hormones make it difficult for a baby to fall asleep and/or stay asleep. Hope that helps! Arielle

• Thank you Arielle, we do try to get him to nap during the day but it is very hard to get him to sleep and he wakes up at the smallest sound. We do try to have at least one morning and one afternoon nap 1 hour each or a longer afternoon nap for about an hour. Do you have any tips/advice on getting his nap schedule regularized during the day? Thanks again! Roomasa

• Arielle D. First, I would highly recommend white noise if he wakes easily from sounds. My favorite white noise machine is the Marpac Dohm. Second, I would recommend considering a sleep training method to implement in order to help get him to nap longer and more consistently. Consistency is key when trying to help a child to sleep better. There are gentle methods that may work well, and of course there are firmer methods such as the Ferber method or Weissbluth's extinction method.

• Arielle D. How are things going? Let me know!

• Thanks you for checking in, yes I've been pushing the day time naps and that has really helped!! :)

• Arielle D. Yay!!!

Toddler naps!

• Arielle D. Hi Sarah! Can you tell me what her schedule generally looks like? What time is she being offered the nap? What time are you putting her to bed? Does she fall asleep independently or does she need your assistance to fall asleep? Arielle

• Sarah She's usually up between 6 and 6:30 am. (I don't take her out of the crib before 6.) School offers the nap at noon or a little bit before, so we've done the same, and she goes to bed between 6:30 and 7 pm. She falls asleep on her own and generally sleeps through the night or resettles herself if she wakes, and she has regularly taken long naps in the past! She's generally an easy sleeper unless overtired, but 13 hours seems like her happy place these days, and I haven't been able to get more than 11.5 (6:30-6 or 7-6:30) at night.

• Arielle D. I would back up bedtime if her naps are super short. If she only naps 1 hour, I would get her down for bed by 6 instead of 6:30 and see how she does with that. My guess is that it's likely developmental and she will work through it. I would definitely stick with one nap at her age!

• Sarah Thank you!

• Arielle D. You're welcome! :)

• Arielle D. Hi Sarah! Just wanted to check in and see if you were able to implement the earlier bedtime?

• Sarah Yesterday, for mysterious toddler reasons, she napped an hour and 40 minutes at school, so we put her down a few minutes after 7 pm. She talked to herself until a bit past 7:30 pm but then slept through until 6 am. Maybe she knew I'd talked to you ;-)

• Arielle D. Haha! That's great though!

Our Q&A starts now!

Early Morning Wake Ups

• Arielle D. Hi Sarah! Quick question for you - did he drop his third nap on his own?

• Arielle D. At this age, I typically recommend a schedule like the following: Nap 1 around 9 a.m. Nap 2 around 1 p.m. Optional nap 3 about 2 hours after waking from nap 2 (but ending no later than 5 p.m.) Bedtime about 2.5 hours after nap 3 or 3 hours after nap 2 If your baby is experiencing short naps, I would encourage you to look into sleep training methods to lengthen naps and eliminate early wakeups.

• Sarah Hi Arielle, Thanks for the follow up question. A few weeks ago he started to have a tough time falling asleep for his third nap around 5pm. He would whine and cry for about 30 minutes before I would get him up. I think this means that he dropped it on his own! Sarah

• Arielle D. Sarah, I would then recommend putting him to bed earlier. A 4-hour wake time after his second nap sets him up for a bad night. I would aim for him to be asleep about 3 hours after waking from nap 2, which will likely be much earlier than what you're used to! Arielle

• Arielle D. Leigh - I recommend being 100% consistent with method. I would use Ferber for naps and give him a full hour to try to extend his nap. As for mornings, I would also recommend using Ferber. I would drop the 5 p.m. nap and aim for an early bedtime.

• Arielle D. How are things going? Let me know!

Power naps

• Arielle D. Hi Christina, At 15 weeks, I typically recommend a schedule like the following: Wake by 7 a.m. First nap around 8:15/8:30 Second nap around 11:30/12 Third nap about 90 minutes after waking from nap 2 Optional 4th nap around 60-75 minutes after waking from third nap (but ending no later than 5 p.m.) Bedtime about 60-90 minutes after waking from nap 4 You'll probably also need to practice not letting him fall asleep on the boob. Try other soothing methods to get him to fall asleep. It's normal for him to have 1-2 night feeds at this age, but I would definitely work to get him falling asleep without the boob. Let me know if you have other questions! Arielle

• Cristina Thank you. Will try that. Until what age do you recommend this 4 naps schedule? During the naps he sleeps in my arms otherwise he wakes up immediately...:(

• Arielle D. I would drop the fourth nap pretty soon. And I would look into some sleep training methods to promote him learning to fall asleep somewhere other than your arms. Check out the "Happy Sleeper" method. It's a gentle method that's great for his age!

• Cristina Thank you!!!

• Cristina I have another question... not much related to first... apart for sleep consultation do you also offer a course to become a sleep consultant? Or advise on where to go to become one? Thanks

• Arielle D. Hi Christina, I do not currently offer a course on becoming a sleep consultant. I absolutely love the International Maternity and Parenting Institute. I work closely with its founder and she is a wonderful woman who knows her stuff. You can check them out here: http://maternityinstitute.com/ Best, Arielle

• Arielle D. How are things going? Let me know!

• Cristina Hi Arielle. Thanks for following up. Nights are still good ( although he still uses boob to fall asleep), nap times.. I tried to put him down 4 times but we are on holidays now and then we are going to go and change time zones ( 6 hours difference) so I am not quite sure about the plan....

• Arielle D. Oh, yes. I would definitely wait until after your return!

3 year old nightmares

• Arielle D. Hi Nina, For how long has he been waking like this? Arielle

• Nina Since 2 months

• Arielle D. The main cause of nightmares/night terrors is when a child is overtired. I would adjust his schedule if you're able. I would recommend a nap from 12-2 and then bedtime closer to 6:30/7. This should help immensely, as it's more age appropriate for him.

• Arielle D. Hi Nina! I just wanted to check back and see how things are going.

Bedtime and day care

• Arielle D. Hi Caitlan, Her schedule isn't age appropriate. She's actually trying to go to bed for the night after daycare! At her age, she should be getting 12-16 hours of sleep in a 24-hour period. Given that she's not getting much sleep at daycare, I would be putting her to bed ASAP upon your return home from daycare. I know this is tough given that you probably want to spend time with her, but it's really in her best interest. When a baby is overtired, her brain fills with cortisol, adrenaline, and norepinephrine. These hormones make it difficult for a baby to fall asleep and stay asleep. By the time she comes home, she's wildly overtired. She definitely needs more than 8 hours of sleep overnight (10-6). At her age, I typically recommend a schedule like the following: Wake by 7 a.m. First nap around 8:15/8:30 Second nap around 11:30/12 Third nap about 90 minutes after waking from nap 2 Optional 4th nap around 60-75 minutes after waking from third nap (but ending no later than 5 p.m.) Bedtime about 60-90 minutes after waking from nap 4

• Arielle D. How are things going? Let me know!

• Caitlan We are still napping post daycare for 1.5-2 hours (I pick her up around 4/4:30), but I am trying to move up her bedtime - last night we started our routine at 7:30 but she didn't go to bed until 8:45. She did sleep until 7:30 this morning with one wake up at 3:30. Naps are slowly getting a little better during the day according to her teachers and I will continue to move her bedtime up.

• Arielle D. Great! :)

Sleep training, but naps just aren't working!

• Arielle D. Hi Brigit, Which method are you using? And at what times are you trying to nap him? Does he have any medical issues such as reflux? Arielle

• Brigit We started out with going to check on him after 5 min of crying and then leaving him until he stops. This worked great for the first few days, albeit there was crying, but he would eventually sleep straight through the night. Then he started crying more and more and the teething, etc. I've moved onto the Ferber Method and this will he night 3. Hoping he drops the wake ups. Not sure if they're from teething pain or what, but I know he can go all night without eating, and I'm trying not to nurse in the middle of the night as to create associations that will be difficult to break down the road. He will usually wake up around 8am and then show signs of being tired around 10-10:30. Again around 2-3pm he and then 5ish. We try to get him in bed by 8-830pm. No health issues.

• Arielle D. Brigit - teething actually does not cause prolonged sleep issues. There isn't a lot of pain that goes along with teething (really!). I would just stick to Ferber but I would adjust his schedule, as it's not really age appropriate. I would have for: Wake by 7 a.m. Nap 1 around 9 a.m. Nap 2 around 1 p.m. Quick cat nap around 4:15 but sleeping no later than 5 p.m. Bedtime 2 hours after waking from cat nap

• Brigit Thanks Arielle. Do you think the issue with him not actually napping in his crib will resolve itself? Should I just do the Ferber for naps and let him CIO? When his crying and naps last all afternoon, it makes it difficult to get anything done!!

• Arielle D. I would definitely stick with your method and remain consistent with that and your schedule. I would only give a nap one hour and if he doesn't take it, get him up and move on with your day. You may need to adjust the next nap timing and make it a little earlier, as well as bedtime, if naps are short or skipped.

• Arielle D. How are things going? Let me know!

Sleeping through the night

• Arielle D. Hi Christina, You will likely need to choose a sleep training method that you're able to remain consistent with. There are gentle methods and firmer methods. Gentle methods would include the "Happy Sleeper" or "Shhh/Pat" and firmer methods would include Ferber or Weissbluth's extinction. I'd also recommend an age appropriate schedule. At 6 months, I typically recommend a schedule like the following: Nap 1 around 9 a.m. Nap 2 around 1 p.m. Nap 3 about 90-120 minutes after waking from second nap but ending no later than about 5 p.m. Bedtime about 2/2.5 hours after waking from the third nap It sounds to me that he needs to learn to fall asleep independently and that will help him get to sleeping better. Arielle

• Arielle D. How are things going? Let me know!

• Christina Things haven't changed yet but I will keep you posted as days progress. We're traveling a lot in the summer so it's been especially difficult to keep to a schedule

Toddler crazy sleep patterns

• Arielle D. Hi Danielle, I would recommend a few things: 1) I would aim to get her down for the night by 7 p.m. 2) I would work on a very consistent bedtime routine. The routine would look something like this: bath, change into pjs, read a few books, into crib awake. After you put her to bed, I would recommend choosing a method that may work best for her. Given that it sounds like she would like you nearby, I would recommend the Camping Out method (you can google it pretty easily!). When she wakes in the night, I would return her to her bed calmly and quietly, and begin using your method again. If that method is too tiring for you, then you could certainly implement something like the Ferber method. At her age, she needs you to draw some firm boundaries for her. Children at this age push those boundaries and it can throw us for a loop, but in reality what they are looking for is for us to draw very clear boundaries for them. This makes them feel more secure. Hope this helps! Arielle

• Arielle D. How are things going? Let me know!

3 yr old still napping 2-2.5 hours a day

• Arielle D. Hi Paula, 9-10 hours overnight is REALLY short for a child her age. I would actually be more inclined to have you start to shorten up that nap and lengthen out her nighttime sleep. Nighttime sleep is far more restorative than nap sleep, so essentially what we'd want to do is start shifting her total sleep into the overnight hours. At that age, I would recommend something like the following: Wake by 7 a.m. Nap around 12/1 p.m. for 1/1.5 hours Bedtime around 6:30/7 p.m. Let me know if you have questions! Arielle

• Paula Thanks! How do you shorten naps? Just wake her up at 1-1.5 hrs? We've tried that and she falls asleep again.

• Arielle D. Hi Paula - yes, I would wake her and then I would get her outside or take her to do some other activity so that she is not able to fall back asleep.

• Arielle D. How are things going? Let me know!

8 week old

• Arielle D. Hi Danielle, First, your infant isn't spoiled! He's just learning how to live life outside of the womb. :) I would just begin practicing getting him down independently throughout the day. You may consider something like the "pick up/put down" method. In the coming weeks, his circadian rhythms will begin to develop more, and you can implement some more strict "training" to help encourage him to sleep independently. Hang in there - you're *almost* through the newborn stage!

• Arielle D. How are things going? Let me know!

Sleeping through the Night

• Arielle D. Hi Florence, How much formula/breastmilk is he getting during the day? Arielle

• Florence Hi Arielle, he gets about 22oz or so total of both put together. He also eats solids. I almost feel like he has separation anxiety and as soon as he figures out (after 2-3 hrs in his crib) he wants to come in bed with us and then will whine or cry until we give him bottle or breast.

• Arielle D. It's really typical for a baby to wake 2-3 hours after bedtime when they are overtired. When a baby is overtired, his brain fills with cortisol, adrenaline, and norepinephrine. These hormones make it difficult for a baby to fall asleep and/or stay asleep. It sounds like he could benefit from some sleep training and also an age appropriate schedule. At his age, I would recommend a schedule similar to the following: Nap 1 around 9/9:30 a.m. Nap 2 around 1/1:30 p.m. Bedtime about 4 hours after waking from second nap At bedtime, I would make sure you're not assisting him in falling asleep. This is where a sleep training method would come in. You would help him learn to fall asleep on his own, and then also fall back to sleep on his own when he wakes in the night.

Short naps

• Arielle D. Hi Rebecca! Have his naps always been like this or is this a new thing?

• Rebecca His morning nap evolved at like 7 months to be 1+ hour. The afternoon nap has never been longer than 45 mins.

• Arielle D. Ok, I would adjust his schedule a bit: Nap 1 around 9/9:15 Nap 2 around 1/1:15 Bedtime around 3 hours after waking from second nap My guess is that the second nap is just too late and he is overtired by the time you're putting him down, which then leads to a short nap.

• Arielle D. How are things going? Let me know!

Resisting second nap but wanting early first nap

• Arielle D. Hi Gaurika, You're doing the right thing! In the beginning, children will typically hit a wall around 9/9:30 (their normal nap time) but the best thing to do during the transition is push them forward. I think 10:45 for a few days, then 11, and so on and so forth is totally fine. I actually have some clients whose babies regularly nap around 11/11:30 and go to bed around 6/6:30. What I would say is that if you start pushing him and his nap starts to get shorter, then make it earlier again. That will be his "sweet spot" for napping. It's definitely a tricky transition - second hardest only to the transition from napping altogether. It should even out in a few weeks and soon he will no longer get tired at that early morning. I would also recommend backing up bedtime a bit while he's going through this transition to avoid him becoming overtired. Aim for 6/6:30 if you can. Let me know if you have other questions! Arielle

• Gaurika Thanks! Is the goal noon and a 3 hr nap? What if he only napped for two hours should I try to put him back down since I know he's not going to nap in the afternoon? I also forgot to mention that he's really starting to cruise a lot so at first I thought it was a developmental thing but now I'm pretty sure it's the need to transition.

• Arielle D. I know very few children who nap for 3 hours. Also, children who do nap for 3 hours often have disrupted nighttime sleep. The goal would be to have a nap lasting anywhere from 90 minutes to 2.5 hours (typically that's the max I recommend). As far as timing, I have clients whose children begin their nap as soon as 11 a.m. and as late as 1 p.m. It really depends on what timing works best for your son. I wouldn't recommend starting a nap later than 1 p.m.

• Gaurika Ok thanks!!! One more point I forgot to ask - he still tries to wake up once at night to nurse and I'm trying hard to get him to stop - i'm hoping the transition to one nap will help him sleep better at night and wake up a little later in the morning have you seen that happen?

• Arielle D. That can be a tough transition. I would consider some sleep training methods to cut out that night feed. Once he has transitioned to the one nap and then he's off the nighttime feed, I would anticipate that he would wake later. :)

• Gaurika Great thanks. I read somewhere that you shouldn't start the 2-1 transition until they sleep through the night but he's clearly begging to go down to one nap. Do you think the waking up at night will affect the transition? Can I do both at the same time? Basically now when he wakes up I just hold him and walk/rock him around and let him cry until he's just falls back asleep without the nursing. I'm hoping he will get the picture and stop the night waking since he only wakes once.

• Arielle D. Oh gosh, that's crazy! And not true! I actually think the transition could help his night waking. And I would definitely do both at the same time. I would try to do a little bit more hands-off with the method if you're able. I think not offering nursing is the first step though.

• Gaurika Thanks for all of your help Arielle!!!

• Arielle D. You're welcome!

• Gaurika Hi Liz can we chat via phone I am an wits end with the early waking and trying to end his night nursing my waking - he woke up at 4 today which is unusual but he has been waking early and I don't know what to do.

• Gaurika Sorry typo, Arielle not Liz!!!!

• Arielle D. Hi Gaurika, Sorry I'm just seeing this! Where are you located? Arielle

• Gaurika Concord MA

• Arielle D. Oh! Fabulous. I'm in Bolton. :) Would you like to chat on the phone shortly? If you'd like, you can email me your phone number at arielle@tinyhood.com. That way it is not in a public forum.

• Gaurika Just emailed you

3rd nap vs early bed time

• C. She sleeps 9pm-6:30AM

• Arielle D. Hi Carlota, If the current schedule is working, then go with it. I say, if it ain't broke, don't fix it! ;) In all seriousness, if it is working then definitely just continue on with it for now. When she gets to a point that it's no longer working, come back and find me and we can adjust things! Best, Arielle

Toddler wanting to pee in early AM

• Stephanie She also won't pee in her toddler portable potty if I were to move into her room. Plus entering the room would expose light to the room. forgot to mention she's 22 mths.

• Arielle D. Hi Stephanie, This sounds like more of a tactic to get you into her room rather than a need to potty train! If she was truly trying to pee, she would pee. Toddlers at this age love to push boundaries. This is when we need to be the firmest with boundaries (even though it completely throws us for a loop - I have an almost 3-year-old so I get it!). I would Figure out what kind of sleep training method you may be able to implement consistently, and use that when she wakes in the night. Hope that helps! Arielle

• Stephanie Thanks Arielle! On those days when she refuses to resettle even if we don't go in and she's up in the 5-6 hour do I have to realign the whole day's schedule to nap early then? These early wake ups ruin our day's plans.

• Arielle D. I wouldn't - I'd stick with the nap as close as possible. If you realign the whole day, she'll just continue with the early waking!

Early Riser

• Arielle D. Hi Katrina, Sounds like she's ready to transition to one nap for sure! The first few days will be tough, but I would definitely say that's why she's waking early. I would make sure you back up bedtime during the transition, too. I would get her down for the night around 6 p.m. if you're able. This will help. As for keeping her up, I would get outside if you can. Try new activities, etc. Again, it may be challenging at first but it should improve within a week or two. :) Best, Arielle

• Katrina is it true not to go in car or stroller, so she won't fall asleep? and do i push nap back 15 min every fewdays or just keep her up until 11?

• Katrina thank u!!

• Katrina i don't see my followup comment do i push nap back every 15 minutes in morning until i hit 11 , or just keep her up from 5-11? thank u!

• Arielle D. I would just aim for 11, then you can slowly push by 15 minutes every few days. :)

• Arielle D. How are things going? Let me know!

• Katrina just started today put her down 1025 and up at 1150 i guess bed 530 🙈🙈

• Katrina started today at 10:25 and she woke at 11:50 Guessing bed 530 😩🙈

• Arielle D. I would push her tomorrow! That's a GREAT first nap length. Yes, I'd do an early bedtime. Hang in there.

Short naps

• Arielle D. Hi Mishell, At that age, I typically recommend the following schedule: Nap 1 around 9/9:30 a.m. Nap 2 around 1/1:30 p.m. Bedtime about 3 hours after nap 2 I recommend that both naps happen IN the crib. I would also recommend figuring out a sleep training method that you feel comfortable with and using that method after he wakes from his nap at that 30-minute mark. Give him a full hour in his crib (using your method after wakeup), then get him up if he does not fall back asleep and move on with the day. It will take consistency and time, but it should work out! Best, Arielle

• Mishell Thanks, Arielle. So you suggest an even earlier bedtime then?

• Arielle D. Yes! That's correct. :)

• Arielle D. How are things going? Let me know!

6 months and she don't sleep

• Arielle D. Hi Karlin, At her age, I recommend a schedule like the following: Wake by 7 a.m. Nap 1 around 9 a.m. Nap 2 around 1p.m. Nap 3 about 1.5-2 hours after waking from second nap BUT ending no later than 5 p.m. To get her to extend her sleep, you'll need to implement a sleep training method to help her learn to fall asleep without the boob. There are gentle methods like pick up/put down or the "Happy Sleeper" method, and there are firmer methods like Ferber and Weissbluth's extinction. You can find them all by googling. Read about them and figure out which one you think you can be super consistent with, then I would recommend implementing that method at bedtime and then moving on to nap time.

• Arielle D. How are things going? Let me know!

• Karlin Hi Arielle , she sleeps better last night .. I was thinking maybe is because she's teething . Because before she used to wake up twice to eat .

• Arielle D. Have you tried the new schedule at all?

• Karlin Yes I did yesterday but she didn't go to sleep until 2 pm and I today we wake up at 7 and it's 1023 and she's not sleepy at all :(

Early wake ups

• Arielle D. Hi Devon, This is really common. The best thing to do (and I know this sounds super frustrating) is just give it time and remain fully consistent with not going to him prior to 6 a.m. It can take feel like it's taking FOREVER, but he will eventually work through it. One more thing you can try - aim for bed a shade earlier. At his age, I typically recommend having baby asleep about 3.5 hours after waking from their last nap - so that would be closer to 6:30. This sounds counterintuitive, but it can help immensely to back up the bedtime! Best, Arielle

• Devon Thank you, Arielle. We will give that a try!

• Arielle D. Great! :)

• Arielle D. How are things going? Let me know!