Pop-Up: Sleep Support Live Q&A

Day Care and Sleep Changes

• Arielle D. Hi Meredith! How long ago did you move her? When does she nap and for how long? When do you attempt to put her to bed? Arielle

• Meredith About 3 weeks ago she started day care, has been napping there for 1 full week now. She sleeps 11-12 hours at night and 1-2 hour naps. If she gets 11 hours at night, her daytime naps seem to be shorter. We aim for a 6:45-7pm bedtime, Earlier if she wakes up from her nap on the earlier side. She's up by 3 the latest at day care

• Arielle D. Ok, at what time does she nap?

• Meredith 12:45 she goes down at day care. She has slept until 3 twice now at day care, but sometimes its as early as 2. If she naps at home, I put her down for 1 and she sleeps until 3

• Arielle D. Ok, at 17 months, I like to see toddlers going to bed sometime between 4 and 4.5 hours after waking from their nap rather than a set time. If the nap is shorter it would be closer to 4 hours. Additionally, it's important to know that daycare transitions can take a few weeks and that around her age there is a huge language burst that can disrupt sleep. I think it's kind of the perfect storm for her.

• Meredith I had a feeling we were taking another mental leap around this time. When we put her down for bed shes happy, but literally goes through her entire vocabulary before falling asleep - sometimes it takes 40 minutes to tire herself out! I will use the 4 hour tip as a rule of thumb for now. Thanks so much!

• Arielle D. You're welcome!

New born (almost 4weeks)

• Arielle D. Hi Julia, It is too early only because your baby does not yet have circadian rhythms (sleep rhythms). That being said, ensuring that your baby is put down for naps after about 45 minutes of awake time will help. At this age, you're typically looking at 16-18 hours of sleep during the day. Arielle

Self soothing

• Julee Also what is a typical sleeping amount for a 7week old?

• Arielle D. Hi Julee, He is far too young to let him cry. He doesn't yet have established circadian rhythms so his sleep will be erratic until closer to 4 months. It's perfectly fine to let him nurse to sleep at this age. I wouldn't stress that right now. At this age, he needs about 16-18 hours of sleep. Arielle

• Julee Thank you! I never have the heart to let him cry, but my pediatrician had said to start letting him fall asleep on his own. I had no idea what that actually meant. So I'm going to just keep on loving and snuggling him to sleep! 😊

• Arielle D. Oh my gosh - NO! Not yet. He's still a newborn!

4.5 mo schedule

• Arielle D. Hi Laura, At 4.5 months, I typically recommend something like this: Wake by 7 a.m. (but do no start the day sooner than 6 a.m.) Nap 1 around 8:15/8:30 Nap 2 around 12:15/12:30 Nap 3 about 1.5 hours after the second nap Bedtime about 1.5 hours after the third nap This may vary a bit by baby! Arielle

Sleep schedules over time

• Arielle D. Hi Francesca, You can check out the information in this document: https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B7PXG7_AaoeEZTNJQmZzWnJVTzQ/view?usp=sharing Let me know if you have questions!

• Francesca Thank you very much!!!

• Arielle D. You're welcome!

Naps for 8mo old

Sleep training

• Arielle D. Hi Laura, My personal philosophy is that books and websites don't help because all babies are different. Books and websites give very general advice and don't take into account individualized situations of each family and child. I hope that makes sense? You could always subscribe to Tinyhood and work directly with me for a small monthly fee. Just something to consider. ;) Arielle

• Laura Thanks! That's exactly why I haven't read much about sleep training but figured I'd ask since we're going to attempt to tackle it in a few days. If I subscribe to tinyhood we can work together more directly? Or is your fee separate?

• Arielle D. I have limited availability on Tinyhood but will get back to your questions within 24-hours. If you need more immediate assistance, I can send you my email to learn more about working together more closely.

Newborn-3 Weeks Okd

• Arielle D. Hi Angelica, At his age, sleep will be erratic until closer to 4 months. Also, there is a 3-week growth spurt that could be causing this issue. I would try to get him to sleep about every 45 minutes and not focus on how long he's actually sleeping. At his age, he needs 16-18 hours of sleep in a 24-hour period. Arielle

• Angelica So even if his feed is taking a little longer than 45 minutes I should take him off my breast and put him down?

• Arielle D. No, if he's still nursing, go ahead and let him finish.

Night feeds

• Arielle D. I'm sorry - remind me - how old is he?

• Laura 6 months

• Arielle D. What do you do when he wakes at 10/1/4? And how does he fall asleep for the night and for naps? Do you feed him to sleep?

• Laura Hi Ariel, Thanks for your response. I had the mindset that under 6 months of age, babies can't be spoiled, so when he woke at night we would try and soothe him: first try pacifier but he has since rejected it, patting his back and 'shooshing' him (works sometimes), then holding and swaying to sleep or last resort feeding. He is good at putting himself to sleep without nursing for naps and even sometime in the early morning. At the moment, I am currently feeding him before bed but he sometimes he falls asleep while feeding or shortly after and other times, there's a gap between when he eats and actually falls asleep. Now that he's 6 months, I want to try and get him to sleep longer stretches and think that cutting out the nursing association may help. Last night he would not calm down at 1am with my husband but stopped immediately the second my husband handed him to me which makes me nervous for this upcoming weekend of sleep training :/ As I said in the post, we went through a nice stretch where he was sleeping 6:30-10pm (feed), then 10:15pm-5am (feed) and 5:15am-7am but he's back to waking up every few hours now and will not go down unless he comfort feeds. To be honest, bedtime has gotten a little difficult too because he's sleepy at 6pm but lately won't fall asleep til 7:30pm so it's been a whole process. I try to capitalize on putting him down when he's sleepy but he fights it and has pretty consistently been falling asleep around 7:30pm; should I just ignore the yawns and eye rubbing at 6pm and shoot for a 7:30pm bedtime? He's 6 months and this is his rough schedule (we have a nanny home with him during the day and I realize he needs to be on the eat, play sleep schedule more than he is...): bedtime: 6:30-7:30pm up at 10pm to eat sleeps: 10:15pm-1am (up to eat) sleeps: 1:15am-5am (up to eat) sleeps: 5am-7:30am bottle 1: 8:30am nap 1: 9am-10:30am play bottle 2: 12pm play bottle 3: 2:30pm nap 2: 2:45pm-4pm/4:30pm play, read, solids: 4-6pm bedtime routine (book, quick bath, lotion, pj's, sound machine and nurse) bedtime: 6:30-7:30pm I appreciate any insight and/or advice. The past couple of weeks have been tough with random events like teething and 6 month shots and I feel like his good sleep routine went out the window when he started teething. Thank you so much!! Laura

• Arielle D. Hi Laura, Have a look at this document. I think it will help! https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B7PXG7_AaoeEZTNJQmZzWnJVTzQ/view?usp=sharing Let me know what questions you have. Arielle

Waking up early in the morning

• Arielle D. Hi - can you tell me what his daytime schedule looks like? When does he nap and for how long?

18 mo dropping nighttime sleep

• Arielle D. It's actually language related! At 18 months, there is a huge language burst that can cause sleep disruption in the way you're describing. It can last a few weeks. The best thing to do is remain consistent!

• Katie Good to know, thanks! We will hold steady and hope she regains those hours soon!

• Arielle D. Yes, I'm sure it will come back. :)

Dreamfeed

• Arielle D. Yikes. Well, I certainly don't want to negate what the LC said. With regard to sleep, however, I do not believe in dreamfeeds. And here is why: http://seacoast.citymomsblog.com/sleep/four-reasons-dream-feed-isnt-dreamy/

• Francesca Ok thank you for this! Appreciate the explanation for the dream feed!

• Arielle D. No problem! :)

Toddler sleep challanges

• Arielle D. Hi Maria, My suggestion would be to hold the boundaries. Once she learns that she will not be fed at bedtime/story time/nap time, she will stop this stall tactic. ;) Arielle PS - She will NOT starve to death - I promise! She's at a limit-testing age.

• Maria Yikes! I hope you are right. It's so hard to figure out if she's bluffing or not at this age because she still can't talk!

• Arielle D. It's totally normal at this age. They push boundaries and need you to hold them. That actually makes them feel more secure!

Is afternoon nap too long?

• Arielle D. I'm confused - are her first and second naps only 30 minutes long? And is the third nap 3 hours long?

• Lauren Yes, that's right. Her two naps in the morning are only 30-40 minutes each but she'll sleep for a much longer stretch in the afternoon. Sometimes she'll wake up after 30-40 minutes into her afternoon nap but will put herself back to sleep.

• Arielle D. Hi Lauren, It's important that her first two naps be at least an hour. The first nap is shown to be mentally restorative while the second nap is shown to be physically restorative. The third nap is actually not restorative at all and should really only be a cat nap. The third nap is dropped between 6 and 9 months because it is not, in fact, restorative. I would encourage you to do some sleep work with her on the first two naps to lengthen them out. I typically recommend a schedule like the following at that age: Wake by 7 a.m. First nap at 8:15/8:30 a.m. Second nap around 12/12:15 p.m. Third nap about 1.5 hours after waking from second nap Bedtime about 1.5 hours after waking from third nap She is likely having short naps for her first two naps because the timing is off. If nap timing is off, nighttime sleep will be affected, too. Arielle