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Join our Tinyhood sleep consultant, Arielle Driscoll, for a live Q&A. Arielle will be here to answer all of your questions about naps, night wakings, and more!
My kiddo is almost 2 and a basically great sleeper. She goes down by herself and sleeps through the night, and naps somewhere between 1.5 and 2.5 hours, always getting up at least 4 hrs before bedtime. Recently, she's started going through periods of a few days at a time where she wakes crying with nothing apparently wrong. Sometimes she has a hard time going back to sleep, especially if the wake-up is very early AM, but it's always possible to soothe her with snuggles, so I don't think it's teething or physical discomfort. Nightmares? Something else I'm not thinking of? Any advice?
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Arielle D.
What does her daytime schedule look like? And when is bedtime? |
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Sarah She gets up between 6 and 6:30 am, takes her nap at noon or sometimes 12:30 on days she's in preschool in the AM, and then is down for the night right around 7 pm. |
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Arielle D.
Typically these sort of wakings are related to being overtired, especially if the waking happens earlier in the night. I would try temporarily backing up bedtime to 6:30 and see if it helps her at all. The other thing I would do is make sure her room is cool enough. Sometimes when children get overheated, they can wake like that (it has been happening to my own daughter the past few nights in our in-between summer/fall weather - we've found we have to keep the AC on a bit!). |
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Sarah Thanks! Happily, she's still sleeping through probably 85% of the time, so most of my sleep dep is only my own fault ;-) |
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Arielle D.
Haha, I know how that goes. Good luck! |
Hi there, my 11 week old seems to have a nice long chunk of sleep at the beginning of the night, but not after that. She goes to sleep around 7pm, sleeps until between 11 and 1, and then is up every 1.5 to 2 hours or so until she is up for the day around 7:30am. She nurses and goes back to sleep fairly easily, but how do I extend the interval between these wakings? I know she's still little but just want to be proactive if we can.
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Arielle D.
Hi Lauren, |
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Lauren Phew - if I know that it's normal, it makes everything a lot easier :) Thanks! |
Hi Arielle,
Our 20 month old son refuses to lie down and fall asleep unless I have my hand on his back. We were traveling a lot this summer, and I let him develop this sleep crutch when he was having trouble falling asleep in new places. Now that we're home, I'm having the worst time breaking this new habit. We've had the same bed time routine since he was 3 months old, but now when I put him in his crib, he refuses to lie down unless I put my hand on his back. Once he's almost or all the way asleep, I can gently pull my hand away and leave the room, and he'll (usually) sleep through the night with no problems. If I pull my hand away before he's asleep or refuse to put my hand on his back, he will scream and cry for hours. (When we sleep trained the first time at 5-6 months old, straight cry it out worked best for him. This time around, he will scream for hours without settling, so it doesn't feel like the right approach. I've also tried sitting next to his crib either silently or talking to him, but it still results in him screaming inconsolably.)
I'd appreciate any advice you have!
Thanks,
Laura
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Arielle D.
Ok - I would recommend checking out the "camping out" or "chair" method. It's very common at his age to develop dependencies quickly. Since he relies on you so much, I'd be hesitant to completely get rid of your presence immediately, so I think this gentle method would work well for him. :) |
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Laura Thanks! Do you have any tips for moving from the "pat/stroke baby to sleep" phase to the "sit next to baby but don't touch him" phase? That's where we're struggling. Me just sitting next to him isn't cutting it. :) |
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Arielle D.
You just have to be consistent with him in your reassurance. You just tell him "I'm not going to pat you, but I will sit here until you fall asleep." Repetition of this will eventually work. ;) |
Hi! We are sleep training our twins and I am working out naps still. 7 am dwt (though 7:30 would be nice :)) first nap 1.5 and then from wake two hrs hit or miss on length which is frustrating. If we want them sleeping 12 hrs at night but the don't sleep until 5 for third nap, how do you do this? They are 5.5 months, 4.5 adjusted.....
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Arielle D.
Babies are biologically predisposed to wake between 6 and 7 a.m. I personally tell clients that if their baby wakes at 6, then it's time to start the day. |
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Andrea So my daughter wakes at 6 but then puts herself back to sleep and I wake them at 7. Is that ok or should I get them up when the first wakes after 6? |
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Andrea Also if. So one is 30 min or an hour still do second nap at 12?? |
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Andrea Do you think they still need a dream feed at 11?? My son gulps 9 ounces but daughter only 4-5. |
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Andrea I nurse during day and do formula the last feed before the dream feed (which I nurse again) |
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Arielle D.
If the first nap is under one hour, I would definitely back up the nap a bit. Closer to 11:30. And I do not recommend dream feeds at all. http://seacoast.citymomsblog.com/sleep/four-reasons-dream-feed-isnt-dreamy/ |
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Andrea I am just not sure without of my girl will make it through the night. Do you believe in sleep training or do you just feed if thy wake up in the middle of the night? |
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Arielle D.
If they're only 4.5 months adjusted, I would offer 1-2 feeds in the night and then use a sleep training method for any other wakings |
Hello,
I have an 11.5 month old and I would like to get him to sleep longer in the mornings. We have had the same bedtime routine since he was 2 months and he falls asleep by 7 pm every night on his own and sleeps until 5-6 when he wakes up, breast feeds and then goes back to sleep until 7/730 typically. I would love to prolong the sleep so he sleeps through until 7 without the earlier wake up. We have tried some cry it out this week and he does go back to sleep for 20 minutes or so but then wakes up again before 6 and after feeding goes back to sleep again. Any suggestions? His daytime naps are not great because he is in daycare and he is the kid who ever wants to miss out on the fun- but generally two 30 min naps around 10:30 and 2:30, sometimes longer but not usually.
Thanks!
My lo turned 19 months today and wakes between4-5 and i need help! it was 5-530 but now its even earlier. some history-a few months ago she would wake at 4 and i nursed her and she slept till 6. I then cut that feeding out by cio and she did ok after a week. Then I weaned nursing at 15.5 months by slowly dropping wakeup feed then bedtime. She was sleeping 630-6 for a month or so and now it is as 4-5am. i have tried cio but she is hysterical and never falls back asleep. i have tried going in and laying back down which sometimes works but then she is up in
15-20 minutes.
She then gets hysterical again and i end up getting her up. sitting on couch with cheerios, books or watching tv.
At 17.5 months, I moved her to one nap a day. it varies between 1130-1230 and she sleeps 90 minutes. i then try to aim bed 6 but usually 630 based on our schedule.
I
am out of ideas! she needs more than 9-10 hours of sleep a night and i cannot figure out what to
do. i have a 3yr old that i need to not wake.
--and to top it off she is sometimes back to two naps a day bc up
at 4 she is wiped by 9am.
TIA!!!
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Arielle D.
Ok - you'll have to push her through to the one nap. Giving her 2 naps doesn't help to push her to the right schedule. She may be tired, but she will eventually begin to regulate again. Is there a reason why her nap time varies? It would help if that was consistent. Does she fall asleep easily at bedtime? |
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Katrina it was suggested to put down at 1130 if up |
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Katrina most nights goes right out |
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Arielle D.
Hi Katrina - just wanted to follow up. Do you think she could make it to a 7 p.m. bedtime? I'm wondering if maybe she needs a tiny bit later bedtime. |
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Katrina i have tried bed between630-730 |
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Arielle D.
Hi Katrina, |
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Katrina past 2 nights 630-545 |
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Arielle D.
That's great! |
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Katrina and now back to |
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Arielle D.
Have you taken her to the doctor? I would definitely take her to the doctor. That sounds like an ear infection! |
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Katrina yes i did plan ontaking her today and sure enough ear infection |
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Katrina but now past fewdsys she also isnot going to bed for an hour or two past bedtime |
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Katrina how do you suggest pushing through from 430am till noon nap? she falls asleep on walks, car ride taking sister to school etc |
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Arielle D.
It's very possible that she still has the ear infection. I have dealt with this on a number of occasions with clients. :/ |
Hi! My toddler (who will be 3 in November) depends on one of us (usually Daddy) to fall asleep next to him, so it's no surprise that when he wakes up at night (typically 2x) he calls for one of us. It wouldn't be a big deal if he fell asleep quickly, but bedtime has turned into a long process starting at 8:00 with books stories for about 20 minutes, but then he won't fall asleep until 9:15/30. We tried to make sleep rules, but he would challenge them. Any advice you have to offer would be much appreciated.
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Arielle D.
Hi Cindy - What time does he nap during the day? And for how long? |
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Cindy He usually naps from 12:30-2:00. It used to be longer, but have decreased more recently. He also wakes up around 6:45/7. |
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Cindy I honestly don't think he's getting enough sleep because he gets pretty cranky (even though I know it can be typical of toddlers). : ) |
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Arielle D.
Yes, so I would be aiming for bedtime around 6:30/7 instead of 8. Are you able to do that? |
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Cindy If we go up at 7:30 he's down by about 8:45 so it still takes a while, but don't think earlier would work. What about removing the dependency of a parent? |
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Arielle D.
Do you mean earlier won't work with your schedule or you don't think earlier would work for him? |
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Cindy Both (since we want to be consistent). |
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Arielle D.
The problem is that when children go to bed overtired, their brains fill with cortisol, adrenaline, and norepinephrine. These hormones make it difficult for them to fall asleep and/or stay asleep throughout the night. They can cause delays at bedtime, night wakings, and early wakeups. I personally believe he is very overtired by the time he's put down for the night which then leads to your issues at night. |
We still rock or at least sit with (we try not to rock anymore) our 19 month old son on chair until he falls asleep instead of putting him in his crib awake. Any tips on how to stop this at such a late age? Thanks!
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Arielle D.
Hi Emily, |
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Emily Yes, we would prefer a gentle method. |
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Emily Any thoughts? Thanks. |
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Arielle D.
Yes! Sorry about that. So at his age, I would recommend the camping out method. Are you familiar with this method? |
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Emily No problem! Is that when you put him in the crib awake but stay in the room? |
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Arielle D.
Yes. So because he is so dependent on you, I think this would be helpful to him. You basically slowly remove your presence in the room over the course of a few weeks. Check out this document for a better explanation: https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B7PXG7_AaoeEZTNJQmZzWnJVTzQ/view?usp=sharing |
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Emily Okay, thanks! I can't open that link for some reason, would you mind resending? Thanks! |
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Arielle D.
Are you trying from a phone? It's a google doc and it is working, so you
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Our 5 day old has his days and nights flipped. How can we switch him to days? Thanks!
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Arielle D.
Hi Danielle, |
My son is turning 2 next week. My husband puts him to bed at night, but I have continued to go in when he wakes up in the middle of the night and will nurse him. It's been the "easy" thing for me to do, but I'm ready to sleep through the night!! I guess I've been hoping he would grow out of this, but the habit has obviously been created for him. How do we break the habit? He goes to bed around 7:30. Currently he wakes up once during the night and then wants to get up for the day around 4:30-5. For the middle of the night waking, do I stop going in and send my husband to calm him down? He gets so worked up if no one goes in. How do work on getting him to sleep 30-60 minutes later? Thanks!!
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Arielle D.
Hi Megan, |
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Megan Usually he naps around noon or 1 for about 2 hours. |
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Arielle D.
Ok, I would probably try to get him down closer to 7 if you can. I know it sounds counterintuitive, but tightening up the time between the nap and bedtime can help with overnights immensely, especially with early wakeups like that. |
My baby girl is 4 months old. We still swaddle her at night to sleep with arms in. She sleeps all night that way. She isn't turning yet so hence arms in. For naps we have her arms out and she does well. We tried to do that at night but she started waking up. How do we transition her to sleep with arms out at night so she isn't waking up. And if we do have to go through the wake ups do I nurse her or just try to get her to fall asleep again. Thanks!
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Arielle D.
Hi Francesca, |
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Francesca She naps maybe 3 times a day. 2 of the naps are typically 1.5 hrs and if she gets to 2 hrs I wake her up. Bedtime routine starts at 7:20 and she is asleep by 9 pm. It's taken a little longer these past couple days bc we are trying to get her to fall asleep on her own at night using the Pick Up/ Put Down Method. We used it for naps and she does really well. She sleeps until 7:30 am generally. Today I woke her up at 8:10 am. She sleeps in her room in her own crib. |
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Arielle D.
Ok, it sounds like she needs a more age appropriate schedule. Schedules may seem a bit rigid, but we can't fight with biology. Babies are biologically disposed to sleep well at certain times of the day. When babies don't have a predictable, age appropriate schedule they can struggle quite a bit. For her age, I would recommend the following schedule: |
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Francesca Hmm well she is usually asleep by 8:30 but bc of the sleep training it has extended to 9. She doesn't wake up at all if she is fully swaddled. Are you suggesting if she goes to sleep earlier then she would sleep all night with her arms out? How long should a 4 month baby be sleeping through the night? 12 hours? I thought she was doing great compared to my son who used to wake up at 1 am. Haha. :) |
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Francesca Oh and should I let her wake up on her own in the morning or wake her up at 7 am? |
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Arielle D.
Yes - I am saying that it may help her sleep better at night. When babies go to bed overtired, their brains fill with cortisol, adrenaline, and norepinephrine. These hormones make it difficult for them to fall asleep and/or stay asleep. I would wake her by 7 a.m. if she is not yet awake. |
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Francesca Ok so if I unswaddled her and put her to sleep 1.5 hrs after last wake up from nap she should sleep thru the night as if swaddled. |
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Arielle D.
Not necessarily, but it will help her. I would continue using your method with her. |
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Francesca How long should all the naps be? |
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Arielle D.
Naps should be a minimum of 1 hour. |
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Francesca Thank you Arielle |
My daughter turned 3 in July. She's only ever slept with us a handful of times only when she's sick. Lately, within the last month; she's been resisting at night saying there's ghosts or monsters outside, so she wants to sleep with mommy. I try to assure her that there are no monsters. She cries for a few minutes and then goes to sleep. Should I be doing something different?
Also, the new probem is I could only get her into an afternoon pk3 program. It's from 12:30-2:30. She's always slept from 1-3:30. The last couple days she has slept from 3:15-5:30, and the issue is that she's not interested in bedtime. She's tossing and turning until 10. Her normal sleep time was from 8pm- 6:30am.
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Arielle D.
Oh gosh. I definitely wouldn't be napping her that late! I would rather see her skipping her nap altogether and then going to bed around 6/6:30. With regard to the monsters, you should make "monster spray" with her!! http://happyhooligans.ca/monster-spray-help-child-afraid-monsters/ |
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Tameka ❤️ Thank you so much. I was wondering if skipping nap was the best idea. Monster spray looks sooo cute. We we going to make it today! ❤️ |
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Arielle D.
Awesome! Let me know how it goes! :) |
At what age do you recommend getting a newborn on a sleeping schedule? Our 4 week old sleeps 2-3 hours during the day and usually 4 hours at night but we struggle with the correct time as to when we should put him to sleep for the night.
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Arielle D.
Hi Marie, |
My 7 month old daughter (approaching 8 month) woke up at night and stayed awake in my arms for over 2 hours for the past 2 nights. She's sleep trained, falls asleep on her own, takes 3 good naps during the day, and still have one feeding at night. Although, some nights she's able to do an 8 or 9 hour stretch without nursing. We put her to bed between 7:30 and 8:00 pm. Why do you think she's waking up like that? When she woke up, I nursed her, rocked, bounced, sang, shushed, put her in her bed, kept her in my arms...I think I've tried everything but she can't fall asleep until she's exhausted after more than 2 hours. She doesn't seem to have any discomfort (ruling out teething), she doesn't seem very hungry either. She's just plain awake, like if she was jet-legged. What can I do different when/if this happens again? And what can I do to prevent this? Thank you very much!
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Arielle D.
I would actually visit the pediatrician. She may have an ear infection. Sometimes the only symptom of an ear infection is poor sleep! |
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monica Wow, I didn't think it could be possible. We'll check, thanks. |
My 10.5mo old has been waking up at around 4:30am consistently for the past month or two, (sometimes earlier than 4:30, but most of the days around 4:30am). She'd also wake up crying. Sometimes she'll go back to sleep if I rock her long enough, but most of the time I have to nurse her. She has been sleeping through the night since she was almost 3mo old, until this happened. She takes two naps during the day, one shorter about 1-1.5hours, one longer about 2hours. She goes to bed between 7-7:30 and wakes up eventually around 6-6:30. We've tried to push her bedtime, help her take longer naps during the day, oatmeal in the night bottle to make her fuller, cry it out, and nothing seems working. Is this a sleep regression? Any advise on helping her sleeping through the night again? Thanks so much!
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Arielle D.
Hi Rebecca, |
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Rebecca First one is 9:30-10:30ish, second one is 1:30-3:00ish. |
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Arielle D.
Ok, I'd put her to bed earlier and wake her from her second nap around 2:30. Aim for her to be asleep about 3.5 hours after she wakes from her nap, so that would put you at 6ish. This will help prevent her from being overtired at bedtime. I would also recommend a sleep training method be implemented for those early risings. |
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Rebecca Thanks! So basically we should go by when she wakes up from her nap and put her to bed 3.5 hours after that? Also, when you say sleep training method, does that mean CIO? |
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Arielle D.
Yes, go by when she wakes from her nap and then put her down 3.5 hours later. And no! You definitely don't have to do CIO if you don't want to. There are several gentle methods. YOu can check them out here: https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B7PXG7_AaoeEZTNJQmZzWnJVTzQ/view?usp=sharing |
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Rebecca Thank you! I'll make sure to take a look at them! Before I do that, just wanted to be clear, you'd suggest to implement a sleep training method before I nurse her for those early risings correct? How long should I do the sleep training method for? |
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Arielle D.
Yes, that's correct. You use the method until she stops waking at that time. :) |
My seven-month-old baby girl her naps are 15-20 minutes four times a day and at night I try to put her to sleep around eight but she wouldn't go to sleep until 10 11 o'clock then she wakes up crying at 2:30. I tried to put her to sleep by rocking my holding her in my arm she wouldn't stop crying until she gets fed. Then after that she'll go to sleep but she wake up around seven in the morning she needs milk again. I started solid A month ago three times a day. Please help!
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Arielle D.
Hi Jomole, |
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Jomole How do I do the sleep training method? |
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Arielle D.
It depends on which method you'd like to use. You can learn about the methods here: https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B7PXG7_AaoeEZTNJQmZzWnJVTzQ/view?usp=sharing |
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Jomole Thank you so much |
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Arielle D.
You're welcome! Good luck! |
Hi Arielle:
My 12.5 month old, Jesse, is starting daycare 3 days per week. At home, he takes naps at 9 and 2 that each last about 80 minutes. For a couple of months now, his night sleep has been from 7-6.
Jesse's daycare has the children in his room on a 1 nap schedule, eating lunch at around 11:30 and then napping starting at noon. For the past 2 days, Jesse's school nap has been just 80 minutes, so we've put him to sleep a half hour early (6:30), and he has woken up a few minutes before 6.
Do you recommend that we make the switch to 1 nap at home too so that his days are consistent? I've heard of toddlers having different weekday and weekend schedules, but Jesse's school days are Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday, and I wonder whether having a different home nap schedule on Monday, Thursday, Saturday, and Sunday would be confusing. That said, I know most babies aren't ready to transition to 1 nap so young, so taking 2 naps on his home days could really help him avoid getting into too much of a sleep deficit.
Thank you for any/all suggestions!
Best,
Devon
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Arielle D.
Hi Devon, |
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Devon Hi Arielle: This is our first week, with our new schedule, so I'm just starting to have the opportunity to watch him and learn how he's doing. Today is our first home day, and he has easily fallen asleep for both of his naps (9 and 2), which makes me think they are still appropriate for him. |
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Devon Thanks for the anecdote, Sarah! |
Any advice for getting a 4 month old to have decent naps while also getting her older brother to and from school at the prime nap times? She wakes around 7am and the earliest I can get her home and down for nap is 9:15am. Then she only sleeps for 30 min and we have to leave to pick him up at 11:50am. I have no clue what to do!
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Arielle D.
What time is drop off? |
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Laura Drop off is ar 9am so we have to leave our house by 850am. |