Join Certified Pediatric Sleep Consultant, Courtney Zentz, for a live Q&A to get help with everything related to infant, toddler and child sleep! She is here to answer questions about nap transitions, night wakings, bedtimes and more!
Hello,
Our almost-6 month old sleeps like a log (12-13 hours at night) in her Magic Merlin sleep suit. When/ how should we transition to a sleep sack?
She's not big into rolling - able to do it, but prefers sleeping on her back.
Our ped was confused by this question and said we could just size up... but I'm nervous it could become a sleep crutch.
Many thanks for your help,
Meghan
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Courtney Z.
Hi! Are you using the small or large Merlin and has she rolled in it? |
Hi there!
Do you have advice for getting a newborn to go longer stretches throughout the night? The longest my 8 week old has ever slept is 3.5 hours at night but that was a few weeks ago--over the past 2 weeks he's been up every 1-2 hours and often times he refuses to eat so I'm not sure that it is hunger that is driving the wake-up. At the beginning of the night we try to put him in his bassinet awake but drowsy and on a rare occasion he actually will fall asleep. Usually we try about 3 times then end up rocking him to sleep. I'm wondering if he is waking up between sleep cycles and having trouble getting back down. My jiggling and hand on the chest doesn't seem to be enough to get him through to the next sleep cycle and I end up picking him up and attempting (unsuccessfully) to nurse him.
I do expect him to wake up to eat throughout the night, but would love it we could get some longer stretches of sleep for the both of us!
Thank you,
Sarah
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Courtney Z.
Hello! Congrats on the new bundle of joy! Check this out, as it's going to help you set the foundations for him. |
My 7 month old will sleep relatively consistently from 7 pm to 3 am. At 3 am I nurse him and he sleeps until 6 or 6:30 am. I have tried not tending to him at his 3 am wake time but that has led to him crying for hours. I have been told by my pediatrician he should be "sleeping through the night" any suggestions for weaning that last 3 am feeding?
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Courtney Z.
Hi, great and very common question! I agree with the ped, that at this age, that feeding is habit and not nutritional. What is happening at 3am? Details help so I can advise how to wean this one. |
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Megan He starts to stir, first a bit of a wimper which turns into a cry. When I go up and try to comfort him without nursing he loses his mind. I've tried sending my husband up to give him a pat or two and gently rock him but it only comforts him for a few minutes then he's crying again. I've done CIO and he's cried for hours and eventually fallen back asleep only to wake for the day 30 minutes later. |
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Courtney Z.
Keep sending your husband, break the association. Then leave the room after a min but when you go in don’t pick him up. Comfort from the crib and check in every 10 mins until he’s asleep. After a few days the waking will stop. |
My son is 4 months and 3 weeks old, 6 days ago we transitioned him to his room and crib because he was waking up every 2.5 hours to eat and not getting enough sleep with us in our room. He falls asleep shortly after our established bedtime routine around 9pm but will only sleep for 2.5-3 hours and then wakes up every hour from midnight until 5am, after that he sleeps two hours until 7am. I'm exhausted!. He's been doing this for the past 2 weeks and doesn't seem to improve. What can we do to help him sleep longer stretches? I exclusively breastfeed him and I do so every time he wakes up, he does fall asleep shortly after feeding him.
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Courtney Z.
Hello! |
Hi Courtney! My 8 month old goes to sleep around 6:30pm and wakes up for the day around 5:30am (sometimes as early as 4am...). Most day she takes a short nap before heading to daycare, usually beginning around 6:30 or 7am. We'd love it if she would sleep a bit later, but we haven't had any luck shifting her sleep later. We've tried pushing bed time back slowly, but she still wakes at the same time. Her nighttime sleep is OK; she wakes up 1-2 times for a quick feed and goes back to sleep easily. Any suggestions?
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Courtney Z.
Hello, thank you for reaching out. |
Welcome Courtney Zentz from Tiny Transitions Sleep Consulting. Courtney is here to answer your questions and help you get your babies and toddlers to sleep better. She will be answering the first 40 questions, so ask early.
Our 16 month old was an excellent sleeping until a couple months ago. She goes down around 8 PM and will wake up anywhere from 12-3 AM and won't go back to sleep in her own crib so we are in the habit of bringing her into our bed, which doesn't make for a great nights sleep for us. Any tips for getting her back to sleep in her own crib? We also have a tough time getting her down at night. We have to go through a 30-45 min rocking/singing routine.
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Courtney Z.
Hello! Thank you for reaching out. Co Sleeping is a tougher one to give a tip and have it be 'all better' unfortunately, that's where my direct and personal services are usually needed. HOWEVER! Always willing to give some advice to see if I can help you! |
When is the earliest you can start sleep training? And what method do you recommend. We did full on CIO at 4 months with our first but still had a lot of issues with short naps and early wake ups. I have a 7 week old and she is a pretty good sleeper but only sleeps swaddled, in the rock n play or swing. I just don't want to be creating too many bad habits that I'm going to eventually break. Last question, our girls share a wall so how do you sleep train the baby without waking the toddler and what do I do if the toddler wakes up too? Let them both cry? We use white noise machines in both rooms.
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Courtney Z.
Good Morning Jen, Congrats on the newest edition to the family! I am sure you are quite busy and tired, but the good news is, following a few things NOW will stop much of the pain you had with your first. This is a new Blog I just wrote exactly on this, that will detail all of it out for you. https://journal.thriveglobal.com/is-2017-the-year-for-your-baby-to-sleep-bbbc383c4a9e#.p0iz1wk89 |
What time do you recommend 5mo old baby to go to bed and wake up? If he wakes up before that time, what suggestions do you have?
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Courtney Z.
Hi, At that age, babies should be in bed at 7pm. Total daytime sleep between 3&4 hours, no naps after 5 and will wake about 7am. Earlier bedtime, like 6:30 if sleep is off the rails that day for naps :) |
My 22 month old son wakes up every night for 2-3 hours. We go in his room because he is screaming like he is so scared but do not take him out of the crib. As soon as he knows we are there, he immediately lays down but is up for up to 3 hours just rolling around and fading in and out. It's been going on for over 6 weeks and we are all exhausted!!
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Courtney Z.
A few questions, what time is bedtime, waking and nap? Also, when you say scared, can you elaborate, is he just crying or is he telling you he's scared, having a nightmare? |
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Brittany Bed time around 7/730. Naps around 1130/12 for 2 hours and wakes in the morning around 530/6. He has always been an earlier riser and we are probably quicker to get him because we don't want him to wake our 4 year old (they share a wall). He doesn't tell us he is scared but you can tell it in his voice/scream. Very different than a regular cry. He has been having prettty bad separation anxiety lately so guessing it's related to that? For bed time we used to be able to just say good night, put him in crib and he would go to bed for the night. After an ear infection and a vacation it has never been the same but that was a month ago! |
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Brittany He wakes up anywhere between midnight and 2am. Last night, bed at 730, woke up at 2 back asleep around 4 and then woke up for day at 530. |
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Courtney Z.
Hello, |
My 4.5 month old is waking every 1-2 hours at night and no matter what I try I can not get him to settle for naps well during the day. He has never been a great sleeper with the exception of a few glorious nights when he was 3 months where he slept 4-5 hours a night. We have a sleep routine: bath, 2 books, sleepy time music, nursing and rocking, bed. Sometimes he wakes within 20 min wanting to nurse again. We use white noise and a very dim night light. He sleeps in a bassinet next to the bed and when he wakes at night I'll comfort him and try to put him back in to the bassinet but often he will cry immediately I comfort him and try to put him back again and he screams. This will sometimes continue for an hour or 2.
I have read and have been trying various solutions from "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantly with no success.
He will fall asleep on me while nursing if I allow him to but I am trying to break this sleep association. Often even if he does fall asleep while nursing he wakes and cries when I put him in his bassinet or crib.
Any suggestions would be great, I'm so tired!
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Kristen Oh we start his sleep routine by 6:30 and he is usually asleep by 7:30. |
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Courtney Z.
Hi Kristen, |
Hi Courtney,
Thanks for your help. I am in the process of trying to wean my 11 month old off of bottles in favor of straw cups. I am worried that this will disrupt her sleep - she typically drinks a bottle in the 20 minutes before her nap & bedtime (not right before, but close to her sleeping times). I'm wondering what to expect as we go through this process. Do you have recommendations for how to disrupt her sleep as little as possible?
Also, when do babies typically drop their second nap? Our daughter refused to take her second nap this weekend, but i'm not sure if that was just an anomaly or if we should be taking it as a hint that she's heading towrads dropping that nap. If size matters, she's very tall for her age.
Thank you!
K
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Courtney Z.
Hi K! Thanks for reaching out! What I suggest is for that last feed, still stick to something like this for that last feed, until she really 'gets' the straw. This ensures she is going to bed with a full belly. http://www.target.com/p/sippy-cup-nuk/-/A-28786682?ref=tgt_adv_XS000000&AFID=google_pla_df&CPNG=PLA_Baby+Shopping&adgroup=SC_Baby&LID=700000001170770pgs&network=g&device=c&location=9007366&gclid=CJet-ca929ECFVhYDQodH5kAsw&gclsrc=aw.ds That will help avoid the sleep disruption as you know she won't be hungry. Bedtime of 7pm. |
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Katie Woah you are amazing. Thank you. This will be so, so helpful for our little babe! |
I currently cosleep with my LO at night but would love to teach him how to sleep in his crib during naps. He currently only sleeps when being held for naps. He stays with DH during the day, and will not fall asleep unless DH is holding or rocking him. Is there a way to sleep train for naps only and in the crib, as I would like to continue cosleeping at night? He is also very attached to me/us, so it would be great if there was a gentler approach besides CIO.
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Courtney Z.
Hi Kay, |
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Kay Hi Courtney, |
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Courtney Z.
Hi, I would be happy to setup a consultation of my services and work with you and your husband on a customized plan to help if you determine that'll need the support to align the sleeping preferences. Please let me know! |
Hi Courtney -
I'm a FTM with a 1 month old baby girl. She's primarily breastfed, with some formula supplementation. We're having 2 problems with her sleep and would love your advice. First, she will not sleep in her bassinet - only in the Rock and Play or on my chest (I know, not optimal). We've tried swaddling (multiple kinds), and she either breaks out of them or will only sleep for 90 minutes in it. Second, and related, she hasn't slept for more than 2 hours at a stretch and I'm wondering if it's because she's not eating enough at feedings (she's gaining weight and thriving, but she usually only feeds for 5-10 minutes at night and falls back to sleep). Any advice is much appreciated from this very sleep deprived mom! Thanks -janis
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Courtney Z.
Congrats!! Welcome to the best gift ever! The sleep does get better with each week. |
This may still be a little young to be asking this, but my husband and I are desperate for sleep! Our 4 week old baby has pretty much always only been able to sleep while in someone's arms. He'll sleep for 2-3 hours at a time, but never for more than 20 minutes at a time when he's in his Moses basket, pack n play, or crib. We got a rock and play a few days ago and the first two nights we had it, he slept for 2-3 hours straight in it--but then last night he kept waking up every 20 minutes again. What can we be doing to get him to sleep more continuously--is he just too young right now? He almost never falls asleep on his own while drowsy--Most of the time I nurse him to sleep or we bounce him to sleep on a yoga ball.
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Leigh Sorry--I should clarify that he'll sleep 2-3 hours in someone's arms, but only 20ish minutes in his Moses basket, pack n play, or crib |
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Courtney Z.
Hi! |
My 2.5 year old daughter has been waking up at 4 am each night screaming and yelling for me and her dad. He will go into the room and sit in the chair and she goes back to sleep. She was sleeping through the night for over a year and then all of the sudden started this about a month ago. Is there anything we can do to help her stay asleep? I work full time and we have a 5 month old baby so night times are already difficult to begin with. The plus is, she goes to sleep on her own and her evening routine is great!
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Courtney Z.
Hi Kate, is she having night terrors or just screaming for you to come in, then she is fine? If that's the case, it's likely now she realized that if she screams you will come. (Cause - effect i spoke of earlier). I would suggest you handle it two ways: Each night, move the chair you sit is closer to the door until you are eventually out of the room. Option 2: Go in, tell her it's night night and leave. Give her 10 minutes to settle on her own. Then go in, check for <1 min and leave the room again. Her reward is she cries, you come sit. You need to teach her that when she cries, you will make sure she's ok, but that ultimately it's bedtime. She is protesting (crying) and will learn 4am quickly isn't play time. Can nip it in the bud in a few days and get everyone sleeping. |
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Courtney Z.
Also, reward charts for her age work great, as does some motivation like a sticker chart. |
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Kate Thank you! She has entered her tumultuous twos and is very emotional but we are really having trouble keeping up during the day after sleeping in a chair for hours every night. We will definitely give those things a try! |
My 13 month old slept through the night until 5 months old. At around 12 months he slept through the night again after some training but otherwise wakes wanting to nurse back to sleep throughout the night. He puts himself to sleep at bedtime on his own but seems to have setbacks on that with teething, sickness, etc. I'm exhausted and need a full night's sleep. Is it time to just let him cry it out?
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Courtney Z.
Hello! The good news is, with the fact he puts himself to bed without nursing, that's a good sign. Babies like that are often quick learners. Here is how I would handle: |
We have successfully sleep trained our almost 6 month old using the procedures recommended in Dr. Ferber's latest book. One thing that was not covered is what to do when your baby gets sick. Our little one is in daycare 2 days a week and has picked up several colds since we started. While we made it through this last cold and are now back on track with sleep, I would love to hear any suggestions you have on how to best provide comfort while also trying to maintain as much sleep training progress as possible. Many thanks!
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Courtney Z.
Hi! I am in the same boat! Those daycare colds are the worst! What I recommend if they are sick is always trying things like a humidifier! Helps with the coughing. Illness is touch. I always recommend you check on them when sick right away. Sometimes the best you can do in some cases may be to hold them, comfort them then get them back in the crib. The few things to avoid are bringing them to bed with you. Also, beginning to feed them, that starts also another bad habit. So you attend to them and once you are comfortable that they are feeling better, get them back in the crib. Even if they take a few minutes to settle but you know they are OK, they will sleep better and be more rejuvenated to keep their immune systems strong, vs you trying to hold them where they never really get back into that deep sleep. Keep up the good work Mom! |
My 3 year old is afraid to sleep by himself. He thinks bats and/or monsters will get him in the night. I lie with him in his bed until he falls asleep (it usually takes him 1 hour!) and then leave. 9 times out of 10, he will come in our bed when he wakes up during the night. I breastfed him for two years, so he has never really slept by himself. How do I break this habit without having him cry it out?
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Courtney Z.
Hi, thank you for reaching out. LOVE the nursing for two years, it's so great for them! This is definitely something I can help with, however, it's not something that is going to be fixed with a tip I can give you here :( I wish it was, I am all for helping! The obvious is going to be to get you out of the room and get him to stop coming into your room at night. However, I would need to learn all about the past 3 years then customize a plan to help you very gently and with as little tears as possible, get him sleeping in his bed and get you out of the room. Most children respond pretty quickly at this age, in a few days, they are fast learners as well as boundary pushers. You don't have to make him cry it out. If you want to setup time to speak or learn more about my services, I am offering $50 off any TinyHood parents. http://www.tinytransitions.com/toddler-consultations.html |
Our 14 week old falls asleep at 11pm (and thankfully sleeps until 6 or 7). We'd love to move her to an earlier bedtime but she wakes and cries if we put her down before 11. Last night she fell asleep at 10:45, but only because she dozed off nursing. How to help her fall asleep earlier without strengthening the feeding/sleep connection?
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Courtney Z.
Hi Laura, |
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Courtney Z.
yes, there will be a little natural light but still close the curtains, no lights on. |
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Courtney Z.
Hi Rebecca, the schedule looks good. The Merlin sleep suit will likely help. Also, ensure she's not over tired when you try to put her down earlier. That will cause crying and frustration. Schedule for that age would be something like this: |
Hello! My 12 week old son has been sleeping an inconsistent 4-5 hour initial stretch... but then wakes every two hours thereafter. I don't know how to get the initial stretch to last longer... and what do I do about the every two hour wakings!? We've been feeding him every three hours during the day and he goes down at the same time every night.
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Courtney Z.
Hi Renee, Look into a few things. Wake time during the day shouldn't be more than roughly 1.5 hours between naps. Total nap time should be 3-4 hours during the day. Naps being between 7am & 5pm ( with bedtime at 7pm every night). Also, is he being nursed or rocking to sleep? Something other than falling asleep on his own? If that's the case, when he's waking in-between sleep cycles, he doesn't know how to fall back to sleep. Those are the habits at this age you are easy to correct and they become easier with a baby that's rested and not overtired. |
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Renee Thanks Courtney! Quick question about his day time naps.... should he be put in his bassinet? Or is it ok to leave him where he falls asleep i.e. Boppy or mamaroo? |
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Courtney Z.
I recommend that he be in the crib for at least 1 nap a day, however, other places are ok as long as they are safe. The crib i find provides the best place for babies to be comfortable and get the deep sleep they need, vs a lighter sleep in the swing or on a chest for example. Good luck! |
My 11 month old will only sleep in my bed. I am fine with co-sleeping as my husband works til 4 am and I am up at 6:30. However, the real issue is she won't sleep through the night!! She is breast fed so I am aware she will need to be up 1-2 times for a feeding, but she wakes up every hour some nights! We originally had her sleeping in her crib, but her sleep cycle was worse. We tried numerous things before co-sleeping with no real solution ie... more cereal before bed, sleeping with a warm blanket or my shirt, only 1 nap, noise machine, and a fan. What can we do to help her sleep in her own bed all night?
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Courtney Z.
Hi Lynda, |
my daughter is 4m old, she will sleep all through the night but we have a hard time with naps. She will really only take a good nap if i am holding her. Her bedtime is around 6pm and she usually wakes up around 640am. How many naps does she need and how can i help her take better naps
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Courtney Z.
Hello Emily! Let me see if I can help! Children don’t always begin consolidation of naps until between 6 & 9 months and with her, may take some time to get her perfectly timed. The most important aspect I can stress at this age is look at total daytime sleep not a fixed schedule. One day she may take 4 naps and another day 3 naps, it’s ok. The total just should not exceed 4 hours & awake time to avoid an overtired (and harder to settle baby) is key. Also, the holding you should no longer do. That creates a problem as she won't know how to sleep without being held. Don't get me wrong, from time to time its fine, who doesn't love a sleeping baby in their lap. Place her in the crib for naps. That's helps break the association and make sure she's going down a few mins early to settle and avoid being over tired. |
My 8 month old is sleeping well at night. And takes 2 naps during the day (they range from 45mins to almost 2 hours), but the problem is for the past 3 months, he will only nap in the rocking chair on me or my mom (his caretaker while I'm at work). When we try to lay him in the crib, his eyes pop open and he's up and ready to play. We did the cry it out for nighttime routine but haven't tried it for naps yet. What is your suggestion? We are more than ready for this little guy to nap in his crib again!!
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Courtney Z.
Hi! Ok for this age, "ideal" naps times with a 7pm bedtime and 7am wakeup would be 10 and 2 for 90 minutes each. However, total sleep time of 3 hours in the day is also doable. Just be sure to time it so they are getting those naps at the right time to avoid going into bedtime overtired. |
Hi, I have a 6 month old that has been exclusively breastfed, sleeps in her crib, and is the 50-75% for height and weight. Some nights she sleeps from 6:30pm-4:00am gets up to feed and goes back to sleep until 6:30am but other nights she goes down around 6:30pm/7pm and wakes up at 1am, 4am, and then 6am. When I go in to try and console her on one of these rough nights, she will scream bloody murder unless I nurse her. I have tried letting her cry it out but usually only let the crying last 10ish minutes before I give in because I feel bad. After 10 minutes I wonder if she is actually hungry and then feel bad if I don't get up. Is there anything I can do to try and make her sleep more regularly through the night? Should I just let her cry it out? I don't want her to become trained into thinking that is she cries and I go in, she will be nursed but for the sake of getting some sleep myself, I usually give in. My pediatrician said that BF babies can sleep 12 hours at this point with no food so I should just let her cry it out but I have had a hard time doing that. Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thanks so much in advance!
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Courtney Z.
Hi, it is hard but you are doing a great job. The challenge is your ped is correct, the food is habit at this point not nutritional. It takes a baby (same as adult) an average of 10-12 minutes to calm after waking. If you check in, or have your husband since the association is nursing, then leave the room and check in after 10-12 minutes, leave and repeat until asleep, the night wakings will subside in a matter of a handful of days if that. It's habit and they protest (cry) and know at 10 mins you nurse, so it teaches them to cry 10 mins and then get what I want. You can watch them, support them with gentle touch on checking in but I would stop the nursing at night. Good Luck! |
I would like to nap train my 7.5 month old daughter, as she doesn't nap unless she is held and it takes an increasingly long time to put her to sleep and she naps for max 45 min once asleep. She sleeps pretty well at night after sleep training (we have been working on this for 2+months). The thing is she is at daycare during the week. Any advice for working on naps on the weekends only? Also, I'm thinking of suggesting a brief nap routine to her daycare providers to reinforce our efforts at home, do you think that's a good idea?
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Courtney Z.
Hello! Thank you for reaching out. Daycare can be tough, because even with the best plan, one screaming baby could setoff the whole room and disturb the peaceful slumbers. However, that being said and with two in daycare myself, this is what I advise and they are great at it. |
Hi Courtney,
My 10 month old boy has made a lot of progress with sleep, but I still would like some advice around his middle of the night wakings. For context, he attends daycare and at best gets a 20 minute nap while he is there. As a result, he goes to bed at 6:30 and even that is pushing it for him. He wakes either at 1am or 4am and I nurse/change him and he back down in 15 minutes until 6:30-7. Would you recommend I try to let him cry it out in the middle of the night?
Regarding the naps, on the weekends he will take 2 two hour naps at home in his crib - he is so tired. Any advice on how I can help my daycare providers support better naps during his day?
Thank you,
Camie
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Courtney Z.
Hi Camie! Thanks for reaching out! |
My son is 4.5 months old. He has been waking up every night 2 to 3 times for feedings (breast), every 1.5 to 3 hours (no consistency). He goes down at 7 and will wake around 9:30 p.m. for a final feeding. He will usually wake up next around 1:30 a.m. and then again at 3:30 and 6:00 a.m. He usually doesn't open his eyes, but finishes eating at goes right back to sleep. The last three nights he has been waking up at 2:30 (not hungry because he would have just eaten an hour before) and he is wide awake! He laughs, talks and plays, and mommy and daddy are not amused. Why is waking to play (he's never done this?). He pretty much had his nights and days set since we came home. Also, his doctor feels that he should be sleeping through the night because of his size (16 lbs). Is there an easy way to adjust him to eating more during the day so that he's full at night. He currently only eats around 7.5 ounces while I'm at work and I feed him by breast in the morning before I leave and as soon as I get home during the bedtime routine.
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Courtney Z.
Hi! At his age he would have no problems going from 7-7 without eating. To change you have to change, meaning no more feedings in the night will then trigger him to eat that next day more. The prop of nursing to sleep you also need to be aware of, ensure you nurse, then pop him off at bedtime and let him fall asleep on his own. The Merlin sleep suit is also great for this age too if he moves and wakes himself up. |
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Tammy Since he's waking two to three times a night right now. What is the best way to start this? Drop one feeding and then another? When he wakes, how am I to get him to go back to sleep? Also, he sleeps in a pack n play in my room. I've been holding off moving him to his room until he was ready to sleep through the night. Would it be wise to make the change for both at the same time? |
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Courtney Z.
Hi Tammy, |
My daughter will be 3 in March and she will wake up during the night everynigjt practically at least once or twice and cry or call for me . If I tell her I'm there (my bedroom is right next to hers) that doesn't usually work . She wants to have someone sleep with her, same w going to sleep at bedtime. She has a nightlight and stuffed animals to sleep with. She is mature and very verbal for her age.
My older daughter shares a room when she is there ( a few nights a week , split custody situation) and she sometimes tends to do better on these nights. When my 2 yr old daughter spends the night w her dad, she shares a bed with him as he only has a one room place which I feel like makes it more difficult at home then. I asked him to let her lie down herself to fall asleep at night When she is there but that doesn't help with night wakings. Any suggestions? Thank you!
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Courtney Z.
The night wakings can be a sign of over-tired, so ensure a bedtime of 7pm. However, with children, it's cause and effect. If she cries, you come. If she protests you not laying, you lay. If she calls, you come. All these things teach her that if she does X, she gets X. Boundaries and rules for this age are where you need to make some changes. Always start that day by saying, tonight, mommy will lay for X minute with you, then I am leaving the room. You are to stay in bed until the morning. A reward chart helps with kids her age, rewarding the behavior with things like "you get to wear anything you want" or a sticker chart that leads to a bigger prize like a movie, ice cream...something that she values. In the middle of the night, you can respond, tell her it's bedtime, say something else and leave the room. If she continues to call for you, consequence the behavior. She needs to learn the rules, however you set them, and stick to them. Teaches boundaries as right now, she calls... you come, so why wouldn't you keep calling. Make sense? |
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Andrea Yes that makes sense , she does need an earlier bedtime , now it's not till about 830 and only about an hour nap usually during the day. I will establish a rewards system , like sticker chart. Thank you so much ! |
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Courtney Z.
Yep, bed at 7, nap 12:30-2:30 or forced quiet time if she awakes! |
My son is almost 5 months old. A lot has changed in the last month: we moved to a new house, transitioned him out of the bassinet in our room and into the crib in his own room, he started attending daycare, and he caught his first cold. He used to be a great napper, but now will only do 20 mins at a time, usually 3-4 times a day. I don't think this is enough. He also used to sleep through the night (9pm-5am, or similar). We tried moving his bedtime from 9/10pm to 7/8pm, which seemed to help a little. He goes down without much issue, but generally wakes up around 12-1am, 3-4am, and then up for the day around 6-7am. He's on formula now (recently stopped pumping after latch issues) and generally drinks 22-28 oz in a 24 hour period. We introduced solids (soupy oatmeal with fruit or veggies, as recommend by pediatrician) a few days ago. He started rolling over so we no longer swaddle with arms in. We use a dohm white noise machine for all nighttime sleep and naps at home, but there's no noise machine at daycare. Also just ordered a merlin suit, thinking it might help, but haven't received it yet. We usually feed him 3-4 oz every time he gets up in the night, and he goes right back to sleep. Is this a typical sleep regression? Maybe just a phase, due to a growth spurt? Cause he's hungry? What can we do to improve his sleep patterns overall - getting him to sleep through the night as well as lengthen naps during the day? My husband and I are beyond exhausted. Is it time to start sleep training? I did some research and am inclined to do the pick up / put down method.
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Courtney Z.
Hi Jennifer! Wow! Lot's going on! While it is a lot of change, it's best to 'rip the bandaid off' and do it all at once, as it does help lessing the prolonged issues. I want to ensure i hit on all of you questions so I am going to go with a bulleted approach here! |
I have a 15-month old who has been exclusively breastfed since she was born. She has always waken up during the night for 2-3 feedings. However, we are exhausted, as both my husband and I work full-time. Hence, we put her to sleep between 8/8:30, but she wakes up by 11 and if we are still awake, we put her back in her crib, but if we are already tired, we just bring her into our bed. She falls right asleep and usually wakes up 2 more times to nurse. However, she takes 2 naps a day, at the same time, which is great! I want to wean her from the breast and get her to sleep through the night. We've tried Cry it out, and she gets so sweaty and worked up, she starts hyperventilating, coughing, and screaming that my husband and I grab her after 5 minutes, when she is fiercely crying and falls asleep immediately in my arms, with deep gasps because she can't catch her breath. Please help!
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Courtney Z.
Hello, sorry for the delay! Lot's of questions today from all you wonderful mommies! This is certainly a very common thing I see in my line of work and also understand the exhaustion. It's something that typically does require more one on one support directly with me to build a plan for you and get everyone sleeping again. (not a sales pitch just unfortunately not an easy answer as there are lots of other details I need to understand) |
Hi Courtney! My son is two last month. He has always been a bad sleeper, but has generally gotten slightly better with age. He'll often cry out randomly through the night then immediately roll over and fall asleep. In the past year or so he has started waking up between 12-5 am and stay awake 1-2hrs or more. He'll sometimes keep to himself - singing songs, talking, etc, but often becomes more upset and calls for us or needing intervention. The intervention times are hard, for sure, but more so it's that he's exhausted the next morning when we wake him for daycare. We've been tracking food/nap/bed all month and see no trends. Secondly, I'm due in March and he'll be sharing a room with the baby - we're terrified of him waking her nightly with this! He's still in the crib (& likes it), bed around 7:30, and napping 1/day for 1.5-3hrs Usually starting around 1230 and we dont let him sleep past 330 (though that's rarely and issue, and on those days he usually sleeps through that night!). And thoughts/advice are appreciated!!
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Courtney Z.
Congrats on #2! That's wonderful! Now, this is actually going to seem like a really simple answer, but trust be and give it a try! Get him in bed lights off at 7 tonight. See what happens tonight, then reach out to me tomorrow with how he did. Sometimes just a 30 minute adjustment to bedtime makes a WORLD of difference, you would be amazed. |
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Stacey Ok - so he was in bed at 7 and probably asleep by 7:30.... I'll let you know tomorrow! Thanks! |
Hi! My 6.5 month old falls asleep on his own every night in his crib. He has started to sleep through the night (7 to 7) but some nights he wakes up and cries. If I go in, the only way I can get him to go back to sleep is nursing. What is the best way to get him to go back to sleep without the nursing crutch, other than sending my husband in? :)
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Courtney Z.
Send the husband in!! In all seriousness, giving him a few minutes to resettle on their own. It takes the human brain 10-12 minutes at any age to fall asleep. So when we wake, we too need time, just as they do, to fall back asleep. You can always give him a few minutes, check in, leave the room right away and then quickly they snap out of it. You can see them on the monitor and know they are ok, just mad because you aren't nursing them back to sleep. Right now, immediately stop the nursing, as that makes it worse long term to break the habit. Give him a chance to resettle, check in on him and he will go back to sleep in a few minutes usually and then they snap out of it in a night or two. If you keep going in, to him that becomes the norm and habit, just like everything else and habits are never fun to break! The fact he sleeps at bedtime on his own is great, he will be an easy one to snap out of it. :) |
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Courtney Z.
And bedtimes are perfect! |
My two and a half year old has been struggling to sleep all night. He tries to stall at the beginning of the night and then gets up 1-3 times during the night. He also seems anxious about the dark and any noises. Any advice?
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Courtney Z.
Hi, what are you doing to respond when he wakes? Is it just since baby came home? And what time is bedtime/naps today? |
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Elise Usually my son asks for his covers so my husband will go in and cover him back up. My son goes back to sleep then, but sometimes he's up a couple hours later. We start bedtime around 7 (2 stories, prayers, and tucking in - he is still in a crib) and he's down by 7:30. Naps are 1-3 at preschool during the week and about the same on the weekends (usually 12:30-2:30). |
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Courtney Z.
Ok, great news, schedule looks good. At this age, he may be feeling a bit 'left out' now that the new baby is there. I would suggest a reward chart w stickers, which if you send me your email I am happy to send you over. That may help him. Be clear though that you will not be coming in for the wakings. If he does wake and you go in, you tell him either he lays quietly or you (insert consequence)... but allow him to make the right decision. Max, you must lay quietly all night and not call for mommy, otherwise no sticker in the AM." Be firm with no sticker reward in the am... at this age, it's all about consequences. |
My son who is 7 sleep walks every single night - usually 1-2 hours after he goes to bed. He get about 10-11 hours of sleep per night. He walks around the house, into our room and usually gets into our bed. How can I help him stop?
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Courtney Z.
Hi, is he consciously aware and speaking to you to get into your bed or just 'zombie' like really unaware of his surroundings? |
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Cindy He's a zombie totally unaware. As soon as he's in bed (ours or his) he's sound asleep. |
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Courtney Z.
I have to be honest, it's not something I am an expert on. In children I have worked with it was triggered by being over tired, but that doesn't appear to be the case here. Have you had him tested for sleep apnea? I know 7 is traditionally when they begin to 'grow out of it,' so hopefully it is something that is close to coming to an end. Was there a particular event that triggered it or stress that brought it on? |
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Cindy No event - just during the summer it started. He seems to sleep fine and wakes up refreshed and ready to go. Hoping he''ll grow out if it soon! |
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Courtney Z.
I have reached out to some of the women in my national sleep association and many have suggested that over tired maybe a trigger for many cases. I would see about adjusting bedtime by 30 minutes earlier tonight and see if that impacts the wakings tonight. |
Hi Courtney,
Our 22 mo old had a long stretch of going down awake and sleeping from 7-7. He naps 1-1.5 hrs between 12:00-3:00. Lately, he has been screaming after we shut his door - same routine as it's been. Then he bangs his head for attention. Sometimes he will stop crying and listen to see if we are coming. This lasts from 30-45 min. He also has been waking up at 6, and sometimes getting back to sleep on his own. He will also wake at 12am or 2am and we can't get him back down for a couple hours. I fear we are falling into a bad habit again with rocking him.
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Courtney Z.
Hi, thank you for reaching out. The head-banging can be scary and is often for attention, as you point out, to see if you are coming. I always tell clients to speak to the Dr. about this as I can't provide medical guidance, but some clients have put a bumper on the top of the crib (not near the mattress, as it fits perfects and protects their head.) They also realize when you do this it no longer gets the desired results and they typically stop shortly there after. Bedtime at 7 and naps from 12:30-no later than 3 look good, so that's right aligned for his age. |
My 20 month old had been sleeping 8-8, bedtime routine started around 7. Now he won't go down til 9, even tho we still start at 7. He still sleeps til 8. Does he just require less sleep? He's not a great napper so his night sleep is important. Plus 2 hour bed time routine is getting exhausting! Any input appreciated thanks!
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Courtney Z.
Yes! CAP THE ROUTINE! They are smart little ones, so you want to ensure bedtime routine from now on, bath to bed, is no more than 30 minutes. Also, for their age, 7pm is a better bedtime, will avoid the over tired "Im not tired" giddy baby you are getting and especially since naps are not that great. You will actually find that moving bedtime up to 7, he naps better during the day! |
Hi Courtney,
I need help trying to figure out my baby's sleep. She is almost 14 months and it seems like she may be switching to just one nap. Her behavior has been fairly inconsistent. She has been refusing her second nap for about a week now off and on, but it still seems like she is pretty tired in the morning around the time she usually gets her first nap. She will act very tired and put her head down alot to rest so I will read her a book and give her a bottle, but then the second I put her down in her crib she freaks out. She did not do this before. Even if she did not fall asleep right away, she would sit in her crib and talk to herself for a bit, but this complete aversion to the crib for naps is new. I just can't figure out when to put her down anymore. She used to get a nap at 10am and then around 3pm, and she would sleep for about 1 1/2 hours, second nap usually shorter. Now it's super inconsistent. One day she only napped for 20 minutes when she went down at noon! She has been extremely fussy in the evenings and we have had to put her down early on the days of missed naps. She used to go down at 8pm like clockwork, but lately it's has been at 7pm or even earlier and then she has been waking up in the middle of the night for a bottle. I am at a loss! Is all of this normal for a nap transition? We had such a good thing going and now every day is different and I don't know what to expect. Help!
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Courtney Z.
Hi Maria, this is going to be a LONG response, but will tell you how to adjust, because I do believe it's time. Also, a bedtime of 7pm is actually what you want for this age! |
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Maria Hi Courtney, |
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Courtney Z.
You can sit next to her in a chair in the room, see if that calms her to sleep, or at that time you may need to work through additional options of gently teaching her to fall asleep on her own. That is where I support some clients, if you prefer to setup time and need the additional help and support. |
My daughter is 16 months old. At home, she sleeps roughly 7 pm to 6 am, then takes two naps around ~9:30 am and ~2 pm, usually totaling about 2.5 hrs. She goes into her crib awake and started sleeping through the night with gentle coaching around 9 months, but in the last couple of months, she has started waking at night maybe 40-50% of the time, and if she really wakes up -- that is, doesn't just grumble for a few minutes and fall back asleep -- she's often awake for an hour or so. I go in only if she's really wailing to check and console, but generally don't pick her up, and it doesn't seem to impact how quickly she falls back asleep either way. This coincided with her increasing mobility, but I think that the problem is also exacerbated by her new daycare schedule: this month, she went from two full days to two full days plus two mornings, and on those days, she usually only takes one nap (roughly 11:45-12:45) and then I put her down at 6:30 pm to help her try to catch up a little. She won't usually sleep later in the morning, but does end up taking monster naps (totaling 3+ hrs daytime sleep) on days she's home, where she has her own dark, quiet room to sleep in vs. the big, light, kid-filled space at school. I know kids survive this all the time and she doesn't generally seem unhappy, but mama has a full-time job and could really use continuous sleep again! Any ideas? Thank you!
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Courtney Z.
Hello Tired Momma!! |
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Sarah On Mon/Weds, she's in school ~7:45 am to noon and she takes one nap pretty much as soon as she gets home, usually ~90 minutes. On Tues/Thurs, she's at school 7:45 or so until 4:30 or 5 pm and takes one nap at school. The school does naptime right after lunch (11:45 am or noon) and many of the kids nap 2-3 hours, but she typically wakes up after 45-60 minutes and won't go back to sleep. (At home, she sleeps with a blackout shade and white noise, so I'm sure school is more exciting and I'm also guessing they're not keen on letting her yell while the other kids are sleeping.) They will offer her a morning nap at school if I ask, but she has always refused it, even when she's very tired. |
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Courtney Z.
Hi, sorry for the delay! Helping lots of mommies out here! Start with that forced 1 nap a day, both at school and home. After lunch to no later than 3:00. If she takes a terrible nap, you can put her down at 6:30, so you are doing it right there. If she REALLY has a bad day, put her down at 6 and see how she responds/wakes. Many night wakings are as a result of being over tired. Even putting her down at 6 she will still sleep the whole night and wake at the same time, but I am sure 6 isn't ideal as you want to see her. Just try and see response. |
Our 9-month old is exclusively breastfed, no formula/bottle. She won't fall asleep except at the breast and keeps waking up every 2 hrs during the night. We tried to CIO but it made us even more miserable and my husband and I do not feel comfortable doing that. She sleeps in a separate room and sometimes she would fall back to sleep if we let her cry a little bit when she starts crying really bad we go to pick her up. When she wakes up she definitely eats a lot (5-10 min) then she falls back asleep. Is this normal? How long will this continue? Or should we do something about it?
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Courtney Z.
Exclusively breast-fed babies can sleep. Many clients of mine EBF and still have little ones that can sleep, so the good news there, it's possible. Right now, her prop is believing that the only way she knows how to fall asleep is at the breast. That's all she's ever known. Sleep is a skill that babies learn like crawling, holding a bottle or using their hands. Change is often required to help flip the night feeds to ensure they are getting the milk during the daytime hours (6am-7pm). She sounds like she is graze eating when she wakes, for comfort and falling asleep vs. nutrition. The challenge for you is that this isn't something that in my experience stops on it's own, until you help them understand they can sleep, but that doesn't mean leaving them to cry. Understanding all aspects of what's going on, props, schedules, habits, etc. are part of building a sleep solution that helps the baby (most importantly) but that is also a comfortable approach for the family. I am happy to setup time if you want to learn more about my services, please feel free to reach out. This one is something that is going to require more one on one help and very common with how I support families. |
Hi Courtney -
We are having a tough time getting my five month old to move from micro-napping during day. She prefers to take 5-7 naps per day from 25-45 minutes each. I have tried keeping her awake in the hopes she will merge some of these into longer naps, and get on a more predicable schedule, but so far it has just amounted to having a very overtired, fussy baby that just skips over a few of her regular naps. It hasn't elongated her sleep time for the other naps much, if at all. Thanks so much for any advice.
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Courtney Z.
Hi April, At this age, consolidated naps are tough. I always tell clients before 9 months, focus on total daytime sleep not nap duration. Awake time is 1.5-2 hours during the day between naps. You want them napping no more than 3-4 hours total with bedtime at 7. No naps after 5:00pm and ensuring the naps cover the whole day to ensure not being over-tired for bed. It's a balance, but here is a great sample "day" for you. |
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April Thanks so much! She is a good night sleeper (overall, minus a few issues that I think are related to teething), so this gives me hope that she still has plenty of time to get into a good daytime nap schedule. |
My two year old has been waking up in the middle of the night screaming. She is crying so hard she starts to gasp for breath. It is terrifying to watch and it is clear she is scared. Even when we try to console her, she fights us. She has never been a good sleeper and wakes up many times throughout the night even after sleep training and meeting with other sleep consultants. Most days she still takes two naps (which is crazy)- one around 11 and another around 4:30pm- and because of this late nap she doesn't go to sleep until 9- but sleeps until 9am. Is there any trick to help her regulate this screaming?
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Courtney Z.
Hello, I am sorry, that must be scarey for you. In my experience, the night terrors are often a sign of over-tired and disappear when they are on the right schedule of daytime and nighttime sleep. |
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Christina That is what I thought too! She seems to get a lot of sleep- she sleeps for an hour and a half in the morning approx. 11-12:30 and then her afternoon nap is 2 hours. 4:30-6:30ish. I know her timing is not great, and I ideally would love her to drop that late nap and go down earlier, but what ends up happening is she wakes much more frequently throughout the night if I don't let her take that late nap. |
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Courtney Z.
She is sleeping too much during the day, change the schedule. 7am wake 7pm bedtime, only 1 nap 12:30 - 2:30. Adjust slowly if that helps her. These may help, see attached! |
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Christina Thanks! We will try that :) |
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Courtney Z.
Did the attachements come through? If not, please email me at info@tinytransitions.com and i will resend! |
My 9 month old was taking 2 naps a day consistently with a 3 hr awake time and his first morning nap was 1.5-2 hrs, something I could relay on happening. But in the last few weeks leading up to his 9 month birthday he has been very difficult to put down for his first nap. I used to walk him to bed (before that it was nursing but I made an effort to stop that so he took to me walking him to bed. Bc this nap issue is getting difficult I decided a few days ago to not pick him up and walk him to sleep so that he can totally self soothe himself. This resulted in a lot of crying which still occurs but it is getting better and has really helped at night and he only wakes up to nurse 1-2 times and sleeps long stretches. If he wakes up at night I don't go in and he cries but then falls asleep pretty quickly. However the naps are different the naps are suffering and his nighttime sleep is getting better. Before his nighttime sleep wasn't so good he kept waking up but his naps were good. I just don't know what to do I've tried different awake times I've tried putting him down at 2 hrs, 2.5 hrs.. 2:45, 3 hrs nothing seems to work eventually it can take up to 4 hrs before he goes down, please help!
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Gaurika I forgot to mention if I eventually pick him up he will fall right asleep - he's not being able to nap on how own without me picking him up although at night if I don't go in his cries but gets the message and goes right back to sleep. Why is the nap so hard and should I just hold him to sleep for the naps and continue the more strict approach at night which seems to be working at night but not during the day? |
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Gaurika I also forgot to mention that now recently for his first nap instead of sleeping the straight hour and a half after half an hour he wakes up and then I have to hold him and just kind of walk him around quickly back to bed. |
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Courtney Z.
Hello! You are doing a great job momma, just some things to help get him back on track. This one is a little more tough love. He knows eventually you will pick him up, so that's what he wants. He is forming that strong sleep association to you, what was the nursing, now the rocking or walking. They are all sleep props, which is what he need "to sleep." The act of doing something to get him to sleep. You need to take the same approach with naps you are at night and in a few days it will subside. |
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Gaurika Thanks so much! How come it's harder to get him down on his own during the day but then at night he'll cry and eventually just fall sleep on his own how come the days are harder than the nights? Because I'm doing the same thing during the day as I am during the night but during the day I have to cave-in because it doesn't work with him at night he'll eventually just go to sleep on his own. You don't think he's trying to transition his nap to one nap do you? He can go and hour before he goes to sleep even if I put him down at 2 1/2 hours or two hours and 45 minutes so he won't end up sleeping at 10, today he ended up sleeping closer to 11 I had to pick him up because he just wouldn't go down then he woke up half an hour after sleeping and then Tried to make him go to sleep on his own without going in but it didn't work and then the only way he would fall sleep is if I held him and he ended up falling asleep 20 minutes later and he just woke up at 1:45 |
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Courtney Z.
You have to be consistent in the approach, and it getting him to nap in the car or on a walk is the only way to start ensuring he naps, start there. Then move on to the crib. But your response, then i go get him, is the trigger. He knows you will pick him up. I offer services that are gentle to help with this, if you wish to setup time to speak let me know. |
Thank you,Courtney! Courtney will answer all of the questions asked in this session.
Tiny Transitions Sleep Consulting offers a variety of sleep services for babies and toddlers including a free consultation. Check out Courtney’s profile for more info!