Join Certified Pediatric Sleep Consultant, Arielle Driscoll, and get all your sleep questions answered. Ask her about night wakings, short naps, early wake ups, and more!
Any suggestions for increasing the 30-40 minute naps my 3 month old takes?
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Arielle D.
Hi Courtney! At what times are you offering the naps? Typically, daytime sleep begins to consolidate between 3 and 6 months of age, so 3 months is on the early side for naps but a solid schedule may help. |
My three year old refuses to nap at home on weekends, but naps fine at school. What to do? Help please :) thank you!
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Arielle D.
Hi Sunny! This is SUPER common. Can you tell me about naps at school? What time? How long? And what do you try at home? |
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Sunny They lay down on cots from 12-2, and his teacher said he usually falls asleep in 5-10 minutes and sleeps the full time. At home we usually aren't able to try and put him down until 12:30/1. We read books and do the same nighttime bedtime routine. He sleeps in a crib but can easily climb out. When we do (rarely) get him to nap at home he doesn't fall asleep until after 2, then nighttime sleep is messed up! |
Thank you, Arielle! Arielle will answer all of the questions asked in this session.
Arielle and Expect to Sleep Again Sleep Consulting offer a variety of sleep services for babies and toddlers. Check out Arielle’s profile for more info!
Welcome Arielle Driscoll from Expect to Sleep Again Sleep Consulting. Arielle is here to answer all of your questions about baby and toddler sleep. She will be answering the first 40 questions, so ask early.
How do you train a 16 month old to go back to sleep if her back molars are coming in and she is screaming and standing up in the crib. I picked her up and gave her medicine and she woke several times a night. Can I try to re-train her to go back to sleep on her own. When the teeth are coming in, how do you comfort her when she won't lie back down in her bed. Do you let her CIO? I guess I have had difficulty doing that. Do I wait until the teeth break through and then try to sleep train her again. Advice needed. thank you.
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Arielle D.
Hi Michele! Teething actually does not affect sleep like that. I know that's super frustrating to hear (parents never want to believe me haha!). You can read more about my thoughts on teething here: http://seacoast.citymomsblog.com/sleep/regressions-and-sleep/ |
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Michele Yes, I had done sleep training with her and would go in after a couple of minutes. Sometimes I wouldn't go in because the crying got worse. However, she has not been a great sleeper and maybe because I have picked her up on occasion. |
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Arielle D.
Yes, it's essential to be 100% consistent with schedule and method when sleep training. I would recommend finding a method you feel you can be 100% consistent with, and sticking with it for a good two weeks. That should help! |
Hi, I'm looking to cut down the 2-3 wakings to be fed down to 1-2, and ideally none. We've transitioned overnights from nursing to bottles which has helped a bit, but how do you advise dropping bottles? Baby is about to be 7 mo old. She falls asleep on her own most of the time in her crib and takes 2-3 naps day. We have a consistent bedtime and sleep routine.
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Arielle D.
Hi Julie! |
Hi, My 4 month old has slept through the night since 2 months old (10 hour stretch exactly), however only takes quick 20 minute power naps throughout the day. He wakes up happy, but I am wondering if that is enough.
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Arielle D.
Hi Mishell! Can you share your baby's schedule? In general, any nap under 1 hour is not considered restorative. Offering naps at correct times in the day can help with these micronaps during the day. Also, how does he fall asleep at night? Do you have to do anything to help him or is he falling asleep on his own? |
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Mishell Hi Arielle, |
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Arielle D.
Ok - he's napping too late in the day. I wouldn't let him nap after 5pm, and I'd back up bedtime a bit if your schedule allows for it. Also, it sounds like he has a nurse to sleep association, which is why he's not extending his naps during the day. A way to break this is to move nursing to the START of his nap or bedtime routine rather than the end. |
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Mishell Great! Thank you! |
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Arielle D.
You're welcome! |
Hi Arielle,
Quick update from our call last week. So far so good on nap training EXCEPT for the "last nap" of the day. My little princess has yet to successfully settle for that nap AND once I got get her after an hour she has pooped everytime. Suggestions?
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Kristy GO get not, "got get" |
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Arielle D.
Hi Kristy! What time are you napping her and hold is she again? |
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Kristy We are trying to offer 3 - 830am 11:30 or 12 and then 2 or 230. She is 5 months. |
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Arielle D.
Ok, does she sleep well in a stroller or in the car? The third nap can be "on the go" and some babies do best when they are on the go for that nap. |
Good morning! My daughter is 2.5 and wakes up sooo early. She falls to sleep in her toddler bed easily after 2 books are read to her each night between 7:45 and 8. She naps from about 1-3:30/4 pretty much everyday. Most days she has to be woken up from her nap.
2 out of 7 days a week I do wrap her up in a blanket around 5:15am and take her to my mother's house where I stick her in her pack n play. The other 5 days a week she could sleep in, but instead she wakes up at 5. Is her body just on a schedule? Is there anything I can do? I'm already a walking zombie and would love just a little more sleep, but it seems like she's taking after me. Is she getting enough rest?
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Arielle D.
Hi Tameka! Have you ever tried limiting her nap to 2 hours? When we look at sleep in children, we look at overall sleep needs in a 24-hour period. It could be that her long nap is cutting into her overnight sleep. Sometimes, limiting the nap to 2 hours and moving bedtime back a bit can help improve early morning wakeups. |
We have been having a problem with our 2.5 year old and sleeping. He goes to sleep on his own fine. However, he wakes up several times a night. As soon as we go in there he immediately lays back down and goes to sleep without any words, comforting, etc....I cannot figure out how to teach him to just go back to sleep without crying. Also, now he has starting yelling he has to potty (he is daytime trained (4 months now) but still sleeps in a diaper. So we will come in and take him to the bathroom even though he has the diaper on. We have tried CIO and it hasnt worked. What could be causing this and how can we help him so he gets a full nights sleep.
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Arielle D.
Hi Lovette! Can you tell me what his daytime schedule looks like? When does he nap and for how long? When is bedtime? |
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Lovette He wakes about 6:45am we get dressed have breakfast at home, go to school he has second breakfast at school around 8a. They play go outside then he has lunch then naps there from about 11:30ish-3:00p they have snack at 3:30 then play more outside. I pick him up we have dinner at 6pm then bath bed routine for bed at 8pm. He sleeps with a blanket now, but no pillow and he is still in a crib. We have not transitioned to toddler bed yet, but are thinking about it. |
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Arielle D.
Ok, so.... Is it possible for daycare to cap his nap? That's a REALLY long nap for his age. I find that most toddlers can't sleep longer than 2/2.5 hours during the day without nighttime begin disrupted. His bedtime is also a bit too late. If you're able, I would try to get him down for bed closer to 7ish. When you put a child to bed too late, their body fills with hormones that make it difficult for them to fall asleep and stay asleep. |
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Lovette Thanks I will ask daycare and try to get to bed earlier! |
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Arielle D.
Perfect! |
My month old has really bad reflux and is sleeping in average for 20-40 mins at a time and due to her discomfort it can take up to an hour to get her to sleep. We have her in an incline sleeper and have her swaddled. She is on breast milk but the pediatrician has put her on two night time formula bottles to help her sleep more. This morning she has had only 40 mins total sleep since 3. Any advice for a very exhausted mom?
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Arielle D.
Hi Bethan - Oh, I'm so sorry to hear this. The combination of reflux and age is difficult because at her age, circadian rhythms are not yet established so it's difficult to get them on any sort of predictable schedule because their sleep is erratic. If sleep is that hard, however, I would speak with the doctor and get a referral for a GI specialist. That little sleep is concerning. |
Is it really possible to have a baby lay down and go to sleep without crying at all? My 1 year old has been in sleep training for a week now and still fusses/cries when I put her in her bed. My 4 year old still occassionally cries about bedtime too 😉
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Arielle D.
Absolutely possible! What kind of sleep training are you doing? |
15 mo old has been transitioning to 1 nap for a month, since he started refusing 2nd nap, and will only nap for 35 min to 1 hour if we're lucky (on 2 naps he was getting about 2 hours total). We are putting him to bed by 6 and he is getting about 12 hours at night, but I can tell he needs to nap more. His behavior has changed for the worse and he wakes up from his nap very crabby and clingy. How can we help him nap longer? Will he ever, or can he just be a short napper?
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Arielle D.
Hi Emily! At what time are you offering him a nap? |
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Emily I have been pushing it to between 11:30 and 12. We started out pushing nap time slowly later every couple of days, and even when it was an earlier nap time, like 10:30/11, it was the same nap length. |
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Arielle D.
Ideally, on one nap, we like the nap to be at least 90 minutes. How does he fall asleep at night? Does he have any sleep associations? Does he depend on you to help get to sleep (or back to sleep)? Additionally, how long have you stuck with one particular time to start the nap? Or do you change it up every day? |
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Emily He falls asleep on his own for his nap and at night, with a little blankie, and sleeps through the night. For the past week I have put him down for nap between 11:30 and 12, but he starts yawning and rubbing his eyes as early as 8:30 some days. Luckily it has been unseasonably warm here and we have been able to play outside to help push the nap, but it's getting cold again and he is a mess. |
My almost 8 month old has been sleeping through the night since Extinction Sleep Trained 4.5 months then dropped night feeds at 5 months. However he always wakes up early. I did Extinction for the early wake-ups so he no longer cries in the morning but he babbles and talks loudly 545 - 625 then dozed back off for 15-20 min.
DWT 6:45 +/- 15
Nap 9'30-10:45
Nap 1:30-2:45
Bed 6
I also would love to get his bedtime pushed back a little bit, 6:30 or 7 but he turns into a hot fussy mess about 5:35. So we slowly get ready for bed, nurse about 5:45, sometimes I can push back nursing him at 6 and then he will be asleep about 6:15 but he still wakes up early
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Gloria Alsowe transition from three to two naps at 6 months because he was fighting the third cat nap and I thought maybe the short amount of wake time before bed was causing the early wake-ups. Because even when he took a 345 cat nap, he still went down for the night at 6 / 6:30. |
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Arielle D.
Hi Gloria! So an age appropriate wake up is any time after 6am. I know we would all love for our babies to sleep until 6:45/7, but nature doesn't really work that way! |
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Gloria Yes. It was 4:30 - 5:30 am for awhile. He would babble awhile and fall back asleep until 6:15. And I was fine getting him up 615. So it is a little better at 5:45 now the past few weeks. But I don't want to get him that early and then by 6:15, he will be snuggling back to sleep. I know this is not that bad of an issue so maybe I should just deal with it haha period just thought maybe I could tweak it because it would be nice if he could be up just a little bit later in the evening, I mean past 6 p.m. but I suppose that will come with age |
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Arielle D.
It will definitely come with age! I typically recommend naps around 9 and 1 at his age, with bedtime around 3 hours after he wakes from his second nap. Sounds like you're doing that! |
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Gloria Thanks for the reassurance |
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Arielle D.
You're welcome! |
Hi! I have a 20 month old who finally started sleeping through the night (most nights) around 17/18 months (right after getting his last set of teeth for now). However lately he wakes soon after we put him down 1-3 hours. In the past when he wakes up we try to rock him and settle him and try to put him back in his crib but now he instantly wakes up and basically refuses to go back to sleep until we take him down with us to cosleep. Then he's perfectly fine the rest of the night. Is this just a phase? Separation anxiety? I'm trying to break the co sleeping habit since we are expecting #2 late summer but sometimes it's easier and quicker. Appreciate any advice.
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Arielle D.
Hi Christina! Can you tell me about his daytime schedule? When does he nap and for how long? When is bedtime? It sounds like he may be overtired. Typically, when a child is overtired, they will wake within 1-3 hours after going to bed. |
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Cristina He naps from 12-1:30/2 and bedtime is 7/7:30. Usually when he is with me he sleeps better at night but not always. However with our day care provider his naps aren't as good as much as she tries. The home is on a noisy street which doesn't help. The last few nights he hasn't napped well for her so perhaps that is the case. |
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Arielle D.
Ok, I would definitely get him down earlier for bed. I would aim to get him down about 4/4.5 hours after he wakes from his nap. I realize this puts bedtime much earlier than it is right now, but it will *really* help with those night wakings. |
Wondering how/when to transition from three to two naps. My 8 month old has been going to bed around 715/730p and sleeps thru to 6am. He naps at 8, sleeps 1.5-2 hours, he then naps around 12 for 45-60 min and takes a final nap around 330/4 for 45 -60 minutes. Sometimes he needs the nap at 12 but sometimes he can definitely stay up longer and I'm wondering how I can transition to one longer afternoon nap instead of two short naps and what time would be appropriate. He's at home now but going to daycare next month so trying to get him on that two nap schedule before then if doable.
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Arielle D.
Hi Jackie! |
Our 28 month old needs lots of support to fall asleep at night and throughout the night. How can we transition him to needing less help? He sleeps in his own bed from 8pm to 6:30am. We have to stay with him and pat his bottom while he falls asleep. In the middle of the night, he makes lots of requests (blanket! water!, etc) before wanting us to pat his bottom while falls back to sleep. We don't mind staying with him while he falls asleep the first time, although it would be nice if he could fall asleep without us. The bigger issue for is the night waking. He gets so upset when he wakes that it takes more to get him calmed down and back to sleep.
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Arielle D.
Hi Charlotte! Can you tell me what his daytime schedule looks like? When does he nap and for how long? |
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Charlotte Wakes around 6 or 6:15 but doesn't get out of bed until the light on his monitor comes on at 6:30am. Daycare from 8:30 - 3:00 with a nap from 1:30-2:30 (sometimes he starts napping a bit earlier). They wake him at 2:30 so I can pick him up at 3:00. Dinner is around 6 and we start putting him to sleep around 7:30 or 8. |
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Arielle D.
Ah ok. He's overtired! I like to see toddlers napping for at least 90 minutes. Given that his nap is considered "short" for his age, his bedtime is far too late. I would try putting him to bed closer to 6:30. I bet this will help him immensely! |
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Charlotte Thanks! |
My daughter is 7 months old. We have co slept her ebtite life so far and when she wakes up in the night I nurse her for a minute and she falls back asleep. It's kind of working for us but we are going away for the weekend in April and my mom will be watching her so we know we need her to be able to settle herself back to sleep by then. I have three questions: 1. What are your thoughts on the sleep training method extinction with a cap? 2. If we have her CIO how do I handle subsequent night waking? 3. My daughter is small and eats some solids but is mostly breastfed. I still think she needs one night feed. How do I do manage to include one night feed without jeapordizing the sleep training? Thank you!!!!
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Arielle D.
1) Extinction with a cap is fine as long as the cap isn't super short. Some babies will give it a good cry for up to 2 hours. After that point, I think capping is a good idea; however, I also believe you have to do what you can handle and be 100% consistent with. |
Hey Arielle!
My daughter generally has been a good sleeper but in the last 2 weeks she has been waking up daily around 5:30/5:45. Not one thing has changed in our routine. Normally wake up time is anywhere between 6:15-7:15. Takes a 2-3 hour nap daily and bedtime has been at 7:30, the last few nights I have tried 7:15 and she has been waking up at 6 on the dot. Regression possibly? Should we be adjusting bedtime more?
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Arielle D.
Hi Meghan! At what time is she taking the nap? |
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Meghan When she is home 1-3, sometimes 3:30 or 4 at daycare 12:30-2:30 |
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Meghan Daycare is 2 days per week. |
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Meghan Also we don't reinforce the early wakeups by letting her get up. She will stay in her crib until about 6:30 |
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Arielle D.
Sorry for the delay - it has been busy in here!! |
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Meghan Thank you :) |
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Arielle D.
You're welcome! |
Baby wakes up 3 to 4 times a night for a bottle ahe is 8 months old i thought by now shed be down to one time a night wakings. I try rocking her before giving in to the bottle. She is a great weight so i feel she should be cutting back on bottles anyways. Help tips to keep her asleep longer at night
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Arielle D.
Hi Jennifer! Sounds like she has a feed to sleep association, which basically means she's dependent on the bottle to fall asleep. How much is she eating during the day? How many times and how many ounces? |
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Jennifer Thank you for the reply it was hard transitioning from breastfeeding on demand to bottlefeeding i have mangaged to reduce her to 5 bottles a day with 5 oz each feeding plus she is eating 4 to 5 solid meals a day than she wake up 3 times at night for a bottle......at the start of the night she has her bath than bottle and i rock her for a few minuetes after with her binky and lay her .uk n bed....she sleeps in her crib till 1 than wakes if i try rocking her or giving binky she screams and kicks till she has a bottle than goes back down for two hours than up again her bedtime schedule is 8 to 5 |
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Arielle D.
Is she taking pumped breastmilk or formula? |
My 4.5 month old is going to bed at 7/730 pm and sleeping through the night until 4 or 5 am when he wakes up and needs to be resettled before going back to sleep and eating around 6 am and then going back to sleep until 730 am when we often have to wake him up. I am trying to not feed until at least 6 am since I know he can hold out until then and don't want to back track. However, I usually have to resettle him or let him cry it out around 430/5 to get him to fall back asleep. How can I try to get him to sleep through until at least 6 am? He obviously is tired since he falls back asleep until at least 730 am after eating, but we just can't seem to break these early morning wake ups. He goes to daycare so naps are not consistent in length or time despite trying to have him on a schedule at home. Thanks!
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Arielle D.
Hi Tamara! Is there a reason why you are holding him off until 6? I would personally recommend feeding him at 4:30/5 and then letting him sleep. Thoughts? |
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Tamara Hi Arielle, I had gotten advice from a sleep consultant about pushing out feeds and holding him to his best standard in order to ultimately drive towards a 7-7 overnight sleep pattern. If I go back to feeding him at 4 or 5 am, is he less likely to ultimately drop this feed or push it back to the goal of 7 am? I know it's a tricky time because they are less tired as it's end of night/early morning - do most babies over time end of sleeping longer, or is there something I should be doing to help this? |
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Arielle D.
Hi Tamara - he is still SO young. My personal thought is that he's young and that if he wants to eat at 4 or 5 and is going back to sleep after, then there is no problem there. Each sleep consultant has their own thinking on this. I believe that a baby should not get up any sooner than 6am for the day. I also personally believe that while a 7 to 7 schedule sounds glorious, it's near impossible for many infants. We have to be mindful of biology and how a child is biologically designed. In general, it's age appropriate for infants and young children to wake anywhere between 6am and 8am, and to go to bed between 6pm and 8pm. Sure, there will be outliers here and there that wake on the early side, but in general that's what we are working with when it comes to babies. In my opinion, I believe that if a 4.5-month-old wants to eat at 4:30/5 and returns to sleep after, there is no issue here. If a 4.5-month-old wakes at 4:30/5, eats, and then does NOT return back to sleep, that's a cue to me that the baby no longer needs the feeding at that time and the feeding should be eliminated. |
My son, who will be 3 in March, has refused to fall asleep alone for the last 3 months. It started when we were back in the UK for Christmas (his dad wasn't there for 2 weeks and he slept in my bed as refused the crib). We moved him into a toddler bed when we got back here but he will only fall asleep if one of us is lying next to him. He has started sleeping through the night (he was waking and coming into our bed) but I don't know how to get him to fall asleep, without an hour of us lying on his floor! I'm also 8 months pregnant.
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Arielle D.
Hi Becki!! Is he still napping? If so, for how long? And at what time are you putting him to bed? |
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Becki He still naps, normally goes down at 2pm and I wake him 90 minutes later. He does fall asleep quicker in the days he doesn't nap (it takes him |
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Arielle D.
I would consider a gentle method with him, something like the "chair method" or "camping out" method. I think you'll likely just have to set some serious boundaries with him. |
My 9 month old daughter wakes each morning around 5:15-5:45am. She typically goes to bed around 6-6:30pm each night and most times sleeps through the night. I am wondering if there is a way to get her to sleep slightly later in the morning without disrupting her schedule too much. She goes to daycare during the weekdays and her naps are somewhat "scheduled" around 9am and 1pm. Her naps range from 45 minutes to 1.5 hours, but most days, it seems she doesn't take more than 45 minute naps. By 6pm, she is definitely ready for bed. If we move her bed time up earlier, would this help her sleep longer? Or, should we just expect that somewhere in the 5am range is her morning.
Thank you!!
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Arielle D.
Hi Kristin! I would consider trying an earlier bedtime for a bit to see if it helps. If she naps at 1 for 45 minutes, then 6/6:30 is a huge stretch for her. I typically recommend a 3/3.5 hour wake time at 9 months. |
My 6 month old was a great sleeper, who slept through the night from 2-4 months. At four months she hit that regression and has been a bear since. She goes to sleep great... we put her down with no sleep crutches and she settles herself around 7:30 or 8 but she always wakes at 11 and will scream until I nurse her. She'll go back to sleep fine then but the same thing happens again at 2 or 3 am. Same thing happens during naps... at the 45 minute mark she wakes up and I can tell she is still tired but most of the time she cannot settle herself back to sleep. She's sleeping in her own room in a zipadee zip swaddle transition sleep sack, dark curtains and a sound machine... I have no clue what else to do.
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Arielle D.
Hi Mandi! At what times are you doing her naps? It sounds like her bedtime is probably too late. |
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Mandi She wakes at 7:30 usually and naps at 9am and 12pm consistently. The last nap is very inconsistent since I have to pick up my older kids from school some days and she will catnap in the car. Any suggestions on a good time for the last nap/bedtime? |
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Mandi Well, I take that back a bit. She usually naps 2 hours after she wakes up... so if it's a quick 9am nap she will nap around 12 although every once in awhile she takes a longer morning nap and I'll put her down later than 12 if that's the case. |
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Arielle D.
Ok, I would try pushing her second nap to start around 1pm. If she skips the third nap, I would get her to bed much earlier - around 5/5:30 or about 2 hours after she wakes from her second nap. I realize this sounds super early but if her naps aren't great or the third is skipped, putting her down super early will help prevent her from becoming overtired, which can lead to those night wakings. Is there a sleep training method you're comfortable with? I'd probably explore methods and figure out what you can be most consistent with and begin implementing that method with a tightened up schedule. |
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Mandi We're fine with CIO, we did that at 3 months which helped her go to sleep. It just seems harder at night because I'm always afraid she's hungry (although our pediatrician did say she should be fine through the night now). I will try tightening up the schedule and see if an earlier bedtime helps. If we are home and she does get a third nap in, what time should that be? Then what time would you suggest for bed? |
My almost 6 month old is a great sleeper but she suddenly has started waking around 3am to eat. She goes down awake and puts herself to sleep. Sometimes she wakes but usually babbles and goes back to sleep. The middle of the night waking seems different though - I've let her try to work it out, my husband has tried resettling her and the only thing that works is feeding her. Before that, she was sleeping 7pm until at least 6am. She eats and goes right back to sleep until 7-ish but I really would love her to drop that feed again - I feel like it's a habit now. I'm back to work and am having a hard time finding energy for work, baby and my three year old.
Thanks!
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Mary Kate Also she's gaining fine and is around 60% for weight. She's exclusively breastfed. Thanks! |
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Arielle D.
Hi Mary Kate! Have you ever done any sleep training with her? |
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Mary Kate Hi Arielle - sorry I'm late. I've never needed to... |
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Arielle D.
What's her sleep schedule look like? When does she nap and for how long? It could be that her bedtime is too late. |
I'm looking to move my almost 5-month old into his own room and crib in the next few weeks. He currently sleeps in bed with me (nurses to sleep) and nurses briefly throughout the night. He's never slept in a crib before, but goes down awake during the day for naps with minimal fussing in a rock and play (I will switch to crib for naps as well once we sleep train for nights).
Should I approach the night time transition all at once (in crib awake with no sleep props)? This would be my preference since I do not want to drag the process out, but my fear is that it's too much of a change all at once and he'll have a lot of trouble adjusting.
He currently sleeps from about 8 pm to 7 am, and takes four naps during the day (usually a long one in the morning, and then 3 40-minute catnaps). Should I keep this daytime schedule until he's sleep trained for nights? I know his wake times are on the low end for his age, but I'm afraid of stretching them and going down to 3 naps and still getting the short naps.
Thank you!
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Arielle D.
Hi Nan! |
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Nan He usually naps two hours in the morning after about an hour of wake time. If he doesn't take a long first nap, I'll put him down after another hour awake and he'll usually take a decent second nap. Otherwise I put him down after 1.5 to 1.75 hours awake for the rest of the day, and he's usually awake 2 hours before bed. I'll start slowly stretching the wake times to accommodate 3 naps instead of 4, and try napping him in the crib before moving him in there at night. |
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Arielle D.
OK, so I typically have a 5-month-old on a schedule such as: |
our daughter usually goes to bed at 6pm and wakes us around 550-630. she is almost 5months old. we will be starting solids when she is 6m in April, and we would like to move her bedtime to 7 since we both work this would allow us to eat dinner as a family. how can i move her bedtime back? she is ready for bed and pretty much out by 6..
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Arielle D.
Hi Emily! How many naps is she taking a day? At what times and for how long? |
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Emily she takes a morning nap around 9ish for about 1hr and then another nap around 145ish for about 1hr. and when i get home from work at 4 she will take a short 20min power nap after she nurses |
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Emily thank you for taking my question! |
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Arielle D.
It may be challenging to get her a 7pm bedtime if she drops her third nap. If she continues to take a nap around 4 for 20-30 minutes, you may be able to get her there. Typically, I see 6 month olds going to bed closer to 6 still. |
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Emily ahhh ok thank you it is reassuring to know that she is right on track then thank you very much |
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Arielle D.
Totally on track! :) |
My nine-week old will only take a nap longer than 20 minutes in a carrier or in our arms. If we put her down drowsy, she snaps to attention after a minute or two and eventually starts wailing. If we put her down asleep, she only lasts about 20 minutes. Getting her down at night takes a lot of rocking, but she usually sleeps well once she's out. She gets up once or twice to nurse and goes right back to sleep.
Is she too young to be trying anything other than letting her sleep wherever and however she can? When should we start trying to help her sleep on her own?
Thank you!
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Arielle D.
Hi Sarah! |
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Sarah We offer her first nap about an hour after she gets up in the morning, when she starts to stare into space instead of wanting to play. During the rest of the day, I try to get her back to sleep about 60-90 minutes after she awakens from her last nap. When we use the carrier, she's usually taking four 1.5-2 hour naps. Without it, it's cat nap city, and we're constantly trying to put her down. Thanks, Arielle! |
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Arielle D.
Ok, I would definitely recommend about 60 minutes right now. And cat nap city, unfortunately, is super age appropriate. Daytime sleep usually begins to consolidate sometime between 3 and 6 months, but usually closer to 4 months on the early side. |
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Sarah Thanks, I'll definitely try sticking to the 60 minutes! Do you think it's better for her to get plenty of sleep in the carrier or keep trying to put her down with the constant wakeups? |
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Arielle D.
I would keep using the carrier for now. When she gets closer to 4 months, if she's still having trouble, you can shoot me a message! ;) |
We're working on putting our 4-month-old down drowsy but awake, but she usually fusses and needs to be soothed back to drowsy. When we put her back down, the whole fussing/soothing process repeats. How many times should we do this before just putting her down asleep, and is it different for naps/bedtime/night wakings? At some point she needs to get some rest...
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Arielle D.
Hi Laura! Are you using any particular method? What does her schedule currently look like? When is she napping and for how long? When is bedtime? |
Tips on transitioning a toddler from cosleeping to his own bed? My 26 mo is night weaned and no longer nurses to sleep. He generally STTN, but sometimes stirs looking for me. I want to transition him to his own bed before our next child comes at the end of May. He has a hard time falling asleep. I don't feel that we have a good routine down. It takes him a while to wind down. His language is also emerging right now (expressive language delay), so I don't know if that's impacting his ability to fall asleep.
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Arielle D.
Hi Leah! There are some sleep challenges that don't have a quick response, and this is one of them. When I work with clients with similar issues, it typically involves a lot of understanding about the child, his temperament, any developmental or cognitive delays, health issues, family dynamics, eating patterns, etc. Every toddler is so unique in this sort of situation. I work with clients with similar situations all the time, but it requires a lot of exploration and close work with the family. I think this is absolutely a solvable issue, but I don't think it's solvable in a quick Q&A (which is often the case with sleep, particularly with toddler sleep!). I hope this makes sense. Please feel free to message me or email me if you'd like to chat further. |
hi my 19 month old still takes two great naps 1.5 /2 hours each and goes to bed at 6:30pm and wakes up at 7:30 - she's a great sleeper but I was wondering should I move her to one nap since she's 19 months? Her sister will be born in 7 weeks or so , so I wasn't sure if I should mess her schedule now or just let her show me when she's ready for 1 nap?
Thank you!
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Arielle D.
Hi Katie... wow! That's a LOT of sleep! Is she otherwise healthy? |
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Katie Yes she's a healthy girl in the 80% eats very well and sleeps amazing. I just didn't want to mess with her schedule unless it was a good time. It would be nice to have her on 1 nap. |
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Arielle D.
Sorry, it got so busy in here! |
My four month old sleeps great at night (approx 7pm-7am with one wake up to eat around 4 or 5am). But his naps aren't great. He hardly ever naps longer than 40-45 minutes and so currently takes 5 naps a day. How do I get him to take longer naps so that he can start transitioning to 3-4 naps a day?
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Arielle D.
Hi Nicole! One way to improve naps is to only offer an age appropriate number of naps per day. Offering too many naps gives them no reason to extend the ones they are taking! I would recommend 3 naps at 4 months. Typically I like to see naps happening around 8:45/9 (if he's waking at 7), 12:15/12:30, and a third nap about 1.5 hours after the second nap. Bedtime should be about 1.5 hours after waking from the third nap. This may make bedtime earlier, however. |
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Nicole For additional context, he falls asleep on his own in his crib within about 5 minutes of putting him down, and has been doing that pretty much since about 8 weeks. He is awake 60-90 minutes between naps. |
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Nicole How do I make the switch to 3 naps though without him getting overtired? |
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Arielle D.
You'll have to back up his bedtime a bit. Are you able to do that? |
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Nicole Since currently his last nap of the day is usually around 5 or a bit after, he wakes up sometime between 5:45 and 6. I then nurse him and we start his bedtime routine between 6:45 and 7 (I like to feed him twice before bed to help him 'tank up'). How much earlier should I move his bedtime? |
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Arielle D.
I would not let him nap any later than 5pm. I would have him asleep about 1.5 hours after his third nap. |
Hi Arielle,
Thank you for answering questions. My 5-month old son goes to bed at 7am. He is able to go to sleep for naps and at nighttime on his own within 10-15 minutes. He wakes up twice at night. Once at 10:30pm and once between 2 and 4am for a feed. We are uncertain about how to wean him off these feeds at night particularly the early am feed. Sometimes he wakes up and is able to fall back asleep without a feed within 20 minutes and sometimes he will fall back asleep and then keep waking up every few minutes and crying until I feed him. He cried for almost an hour last night and my husband tried soothing him on and off almost for an hour after that but he wouldn't stay asleep without a feed. He has reflux that is managed reasonably with omeprazole, appears to be teething, and is not doing solids yet. He has done longer stretches at night before the 4 month regression. He was doing anywhere from 6-10 hours. Any advice or suggestions would be helpful.
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Arielle D.
Hi Komal! Have you done any sort of sleep training with him? |
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Komal We do a bedtime routine at night and he falls asleep on his own without props. We let him cry it out for 15 minutes or so when he wakes up at night then husband goes in to calm him and puts him back drowsy but awake. Aside from that we haven't done much. We haven't done any formal sleep training. Anything you recommend? |
Hello, my daughter is 8 months old. She is still up 2-3 times a night. We went through a period of a couple of weeks where she was just up once, but that didn't seem to last long. I think she probably does need to get up 1 time to eat, but the other times seem to be for comfort. If we rock her, she will go back to sleep, but as soon as we put her down in her crib, she wakes up screaming. We eventually bring her in to our bed, and she sleeps just fine. I think we just need to sleep train her a bit, but we're running into a logistical challenge because she shares a room with our 3-year-old. We do not let the baby cry for more than a minute or so because we don't want our 3-year-old to wake up. What's the best way to sleep train in this situation? Thanks!
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Arielle D.
Hi Katy! yes, sounds like it's time to do some training. Can you move the 3-year-old into your room for a bit while you work on training? Or have a "camp out" for the 3-year-old somewhere else in the house for a few days? |
My pediatrician recommended nap training my 12 month old and so far 2 weeks in, things are going a lot better. I put her down at 9 and 1. But there arw still days she wakes in 40 minutes and i leave in until the hour mark. She never falls back asleep. Any tricks to getting her to? Or just forget trying and get her up at the 40 minute mark?
Also, was told bedtime should be 3-4 hours from last nap. This puts us at 6pm which is doable just early with a rambuncious 2.5 year old. When can that be pushed back?
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Arielle D.
Hi Katrina! 12 months is a tricky age for naps and notorious for wakings at 40 minutes in. I would definitely leave her until it has been an hour. Naps are always harder to work on than nights, so I would still be giving her that opportunity to fall asleep and extend the nap. |
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Katrina Thank you! |
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Arielle D.
You're welcome! |
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Katrina Forgot to say how long does the 4-4.5 wAke time go on? I would love to coordinate a later bedtime with my toddler. |
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Arielle D.
Hi Katrina - I recommend it for quite some time. Even for some 2-year-olds. It will really depend on what happens when he moves to one nap. |
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Katrina Great thanks! |
Hi, my 6 month old wears an orthotic helmet for plagiocephaly (he has had it for about 3 weeks). Before the helmet he slept well: bedtime around 6 or 7, slept until 3:30-5:30, took a bottle and went back to sleep no problem. But most importantly, he would fall asleep if we put him in the crib drowsy (but awake) without making a peep.
Now, he has to be rocked into a deep sleep and placed into the crib carefully to avoid waking him. If he wakes up, he screams. We have tried sleep training/returning at progressive intervals, but he only seems to get worse the longer we leave him without picking him up, and what's more, he often rolls over, moves around until his legs are stuck in the crib rungs (trapping him upside down), and with the weight of the helmet and him screaming like he is dying, I am terrified that he can't breathe well and that leaving him per the sleep training instructions is a SIDS risk.
Any advice?
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Arielle D.
Hi Sarah! I always recommend speaking with the doctor if there is something medically involved with how a child is sleeping (I would consider the helmet the medical involvement here). You may share with the doctor that it has been 3 weeks and his sleep is severely disrupted. I'm sure you wouldn't be the first (or the last!) to ask the doctor. See if he has any tips and share your concern about him getting stuck upside down! Sometimes these things really need medical advice (which I, unfortunately, cannot give!). |
Our 2 year old slept through the night in his crib on his own room from 4 months to 15 months. Now we cannot get him to sleep in there. He screams, cried and tries to climb out. I have a 3 month old daughter and was so exhausted and emotional when i was pregnant with her i couldnt bare to let him scream. He has been sleeping with my husband and i since. Os there any hope of retraining him to sleep in his toddler bed by himself? I realize this is our fault.
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Arielle D.
Hi Stacey! Don't beat yourself up over it! It's definitely fixable but it will likely take some time. How far into 2 is he? Meaning is he just barely 2 or is he closer to 2.5? |
Hi! My 5 month old falls asleep on his own in his crib. I put him down awake with a pacifier and sound machine and he falls asleep. Problem is-he doesn't stay asleep! He wakes during the night-probably looking for the pacifier. He sleeps on his back and doesn't roll over yet. I haven't night fed in months so I know he can make it through the night without eating. He goes to bed around 7:30 and is up at about 5:30/6am. How can I get him to stay asleep through the night?
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Arielle D.
Hi Christine! |
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Christine He's a horrible napper. I'm lucky If i get 30 minutes from him! I try the one hour rule but he seldom goes back to sleep. When he sleeps longer than that I'm shocked. His naps are inconsistent but usually 2-2.5 hours after his last wake up. He usually takes 3 naps a day. |
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Arielle D.
It sounds like he could benefit from some sort of sleep training. It sounds as though he's dependent on you to fall asleep/back to sleep. I'd also work to get him on an age appropriate daytime schedule. I would recommend something like: |
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Christine Thanks for answering my question! Should I nurse him at the beginning or end of our bedtime routine. Does it matter? Usually it's bath-nurse-book-bed. I'll try this nap schedule and an earlier bedtime and see how it goes! You're right, he probably is overtired. Should I change our bedtime routine? |
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Arielle D.
I would just be sure he's not falling asleep nursing. Otherwise, that routine looks good. :) |
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Christine Thanks! I'll give it a try! :) |
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Arielle D.
Good luck! :) |
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Christine Hi Arielle! I wanted to update you on how things went last night! I put my son down earlier and tried the nursing>bath>book>bed routine. Before I had been starting his 3rd nap at 5pm. Last night we didn't do that and it really helped! He went to bed around 7:10 and stayed asleep all night! He was up at 5am though so i went in to turn the sound machine back on and then he slept until 6:30! Should I have gotten him out of bed at 5? Or is it okay that I went in to help him go back to sleep for a little. The new routine worked really well too! |
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Arielle D.
WOOHOO!!!! No, definitely don't get him up any earlier than 6am. Awesome work!! :) |
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Christine Thanks! I'm so excited we're making progress! you're advice really helped us. :) |
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Arielle D.
Awesome! You can find me on Facebook, too. :) Expect to Sleep Again Sleep Consulting |
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Christine Hi Arielle-I have another question to follow up on my post. If baby wakes up in the night, should I go to him or leave him. He doesn't really cry, rather whines and coos and whimpers. I've been going to him to put in the pacifier but I think I might be perpetuating an association by doing that. Should I just let him cry and whine until he falls back asleep? He has no problem falling asleep in his own. Naps have improved tremendously! But he's still waking a couple times at night. Thanks!!!! |
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Arielle D.
Hi Christine! If he's just kind of fussing and whining, I would leave him. :) |
I have a 4 month old who only sleeps 2 to 3 hours stints. She takes two naps during day at 9a and 1p 1 to 2 hours in length, an evening nap from 630 to 730p, bed at 9p, then I am usually up 11p, 1a, 4a and sometimes 6a to feed. She will typically sleep better in co sleeping, only when I am die need of sleep. What can I do to get her to sleep longer at night?
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Arielle D.
Hi Renee! Her schedule is quite off for her age. I would recommend something like the following: |
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Renee She is usually awake by 7a. I do nurse her to sleep. She might get another nap that I didn't list at daycare, I just wasn't sure. I know the bedtime hour may be off, but I don't get home from work until after 6pm. I do nurse her right when I get home. Then she is awake for about an hour and goes to sleep for about an hour waking for 9-10p feeding. |
My 6 month old son has never been a great sleeper. The past few nights have been even more challenging - curious what is normal, what's fixable? How can I get longer stretches?
He naps well. Usually takes three naps a day (2 longer and 1 shorter) totaling about 3 to 3.5 hours. Average awake time between naps is 2.5 to 3 hours. Usually able to self soothe to sleep for naps.
Nighttime sleep is another ballgame. His bedtime is usually around 6:30 to 7:00pm and he's usually up for they day between 6:00 to 6:30am. He wakes three times between bedtime and wakeup (at best) and I used to get him down by nursing then having him self soothe in his crib.
However, the past few nights, he has been getting upset when I transfer him back to the crib. I give him time, but he gets more upset if I check on him. I have ended up nursing then waiting until he falls into deep sleep in my arms before transferring him back into the crib. Sometimes I don't wait long enough and have to start all over, sometimes I fall asleep and then I miss the deep sleep window. I think separation anxiety has kicked in recently, but again this isn't an issue for naps.
Hi Arielle! My 4-month old can not put herself to sleep. We rock her for every nap (which she fights like crazy, no matter how tired she is) and to get her down at night. I often end up holding her for naps just so she will get some sleep during the day. She's starting to get very distracted by everything so even stroller doesn't always get her to sleep. We're swaddling her in a Halo sleep sack at night and I've been trying to swaddle her during the day as well. She sleeps very well at night when she goes to sleep, usually 8-9 pm through to 6-7 am. She's currently sleeping in a bassinet by our bed and if I can get her to stay asleep for a nap (outside of my arms), I have her in a dock-a-tot in her crib. I'm not sure where to start in trying to teach her to get to sleep on her own: is it the swaddle? Should she cry it out? Is she going to bed too late? The sleeping through the night is amazing so I'd love to not mess with that, but want to do what will be best for her long-term in self-soothing. Thanks!!
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Arielle D.
Hi Jenna! It does sound like she could benefit from some overall changes. 8-9pm is definitely a late bedtime, and I would drop the swaddle at this point. If the Moro Reflex is still a problem, you could consider using a Merlin's Magic Sleep Suit for a bit. Are you familiar with sleep suits? |
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Jenna We do have a Magic Merlin that we have not tried yet! Would I use that all day or only at night? We're currently on a pretty good eat/play/sleep cycle of about 3 hours, sometimes a little longer. She typically seems to start to get tired (rubbing eyes/yawning) 1-1.5 hours after eating (shorter if she really didn't sleep before). So after she wakes and eats first thing in the morning, I can usually get her right back to sleep and then the rest of the day she plays and hangs out after she eats. She'll fuss for a bit when she's tired and I will try to get her to sleep. If I can't sometimes she is then totally fine and will skip that nap entirely. |
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Arielle D.
Hi Jenna! Sorry for the delay - it's busy in here! Yes, I would try the Merlin for all sleep for a bit. At 4 months, I typically recommend a schedule such as: |
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Jenna Thanks! Haha, it's very busy. So would each nap be 1-1.5 hours or 2? And then for the last nap say she went to sleep from 12:30-2:30 then she would be up until 4 essentially, have her last nap then up 5:30-7ish and go to bed for the night? |
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Arielle D.
Yeah, if she gives you nice naps like that! If she woke at 2:30, her next nap would be at 4. I'd be sure to wake her by 5pm (naps after 5 can tend to encroach on nighttime sleep), then bedtime around 6:30. |
I have a 16 month old almost 17 m that wakes up twice a night to nurse. Dad has tried to help with rocking her to sleep and putting her in her crib after many attempts. She cries nonstop looking for me. How can I start the process of getting her to sleep through the night and also weaning her? Sincerely, one exhausted mommy
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Arielle D.
Hi Edith! |
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Edith Yes, you are correct she sleeps while nursing. I have been trying to stop this so she is not used to using the breastfeeding as a way to sleep. Naps, she is down to one nap midday typically after lunch. Same after lunch she nurses and sleeps at the breast. I transfer her to her crib and she sleeps for an hour or two, it's never a consistent time frame. Bedtime she would sleep at 7-7:30pm now she recently started to stretch it until 8:30-9:30 sometimes. Same bedtime routine but she refuses to sleep. She wakes up usually at 4 am to nurse and sleeps until 7:30-8. But if she wakes up to nurse before 4 am she wakes up at 6-6:30 am and is up for the day. |
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Edith I should add that wake ups at night are long because she is asleep and I try to transfer her to her crib and she wakes up. I literally have to hold her for at least 30 minutes to an hour. |
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Arielle D.
Ok, I would back up her bedtime. Sounds like she is overtired by bed. At her age, she should be going to bed about 4/4.5 hour after her nap. This probably puts her at about 6/6:30pm. When a baby is overtired, her body fills with cortisol, adrenaline, and norepinephrine - these hormones make it difficult to fall asleep and stay asleep. So I would first start trying to get her on an age appropriate schedule, then I would look into a sleep training method that you may feel comfortable implementing. I work with clients in this sort of situation it can take some time, but typically is resolved within 2 weeks. |
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Edith Any suggestions on how to get her to sleep at that time? I am not sure what to do next or how to start sleep training. Please recommend reads, support? |
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Arielle D.
If you shoot me an email, I can send you a flyer with information on different methods. My email is arielle@expecttosleep.com. |
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Edith Done. Thank you! |
Hi Arielle,
My son is 15 months and he started protesting his afternoon nap about three weeks ago. I would leave him in the crib for an hour and he would not go to sleep. This happened for a week straight so I thought it was time for the transition. He sleeps at night from 8 to 7/8 so I try to keep him up until after lunch (12:30). Problem is he wants to go to sleep earlier; he gets tired around 11. Sometimes I will let him go to sleep earlier and he is generally fine until bedtime. Sometimes I try to keep him awake. Should I just let him do what he needs or try to keep him up?
Also, every couple of weeks he has a night or two where he wakes up and can't fall back asleep for 1-2/hours and is off and on crying and standing up. (This happened both before and after the nap transition.) When I go in and hold him he stops crying, but I have to wait until he falls back to sleep to put him back in the crib. Should I just let him work this out on his own and not go in?
Thanks so much!
Stephanie
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Arielle D.
Hi Stephanie! I would definitely let him sleep at 11 if he's tired. The problem is that pushing him may be making him overtired, which can then lead to those night wakings. Additionally, I would probably try to tighten up bedtime a bit. Again, those night wakings sound like they are related to being overtired. At his age, I typically recommend waking a child in the morning by 7/7:30 and bedtime sometime between 6 and 7. |
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Stephanie Thank you so much! His nap can range anywhere from 1-2.5 hours. It seems to be related to how many hours he has slept at night. |
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Arielle D.
It probably is related to his overnight sleep! I like to look at how much a child needs in a 24-hour period and figure out a good, individualized "formula" for their sleep on one nap. How many hours of sleep does he do best with? |
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Stephanie Somewhere between 13 and 14 hours. Thanks again! |
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Arielle D.
So I would do the earlier nap, but then back up his bedtime. I bet this will help! |
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Stephanie Great! I will try this. Thanks again! |
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Arielle D.
You're welcome! |