Check out our live Q&A with Sleep Consultant Keriann MacElroy. Ask a question and get expert advice to help your baby take better naps, sleep through the night and more! Check out Keriann's profile for more info.
Welcome Keriann MacElroy from Dream Factory Sleep Solutions! Keriann is here to help you get your babies and toddlers to sleep better. She will be answering the first 40 questions so ask early!
Hello,
My 8 week old boy (6 weeks by due date) had finally been sleeping in a bassinet next to our bed for 4-5 hour stretch and then 2-3 hour stretches until he went through a growth/developmental spurt at 6 weeks. The sleep regression has lasted for the past 2 weeks and he screams when put down in the rock n play or bassinet, won't stay asleep initially for longer than 30 minutes before waking again, and has ended up co-sleeping with us just to get him through the night. We swaddle him, do a nighttime bath and quiet routine, and I have been trying to make sure he gets decent daytime naps.
How do I retrain him to be back in his bassinet or rock n play and try to get the longer stretches of sleep that he was capable of 2 weeks ago? I know he is too young to sleep train, but any suggestions appreciated!
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Keriann M.
Hi Tamara! Thank you for the question! At his young age, I would encourage him to fall asleep in his bassinet on his own by laying him down awake and sitting next to the bassinet to provide some comfort as he is trying to fall asleep. Pick up/put down can be quite helpful at this age: if he starts to cry, pick him up and walk around the room. As soon as he calms down, lay him back in the crib awake. So, the key is to provide comfort to keep him calm, but not long enough to actually lull him to sleep. You may have to repeat this process several times until he eventually drifts off to sleep on his own. For the short 30 minute sleep cycles, this is very normal at that age. When you hear him stirring at the 30 minute mark, run in quickly and try to get him back to sleep by jiggling the bassinet, patting his bottom, or whatever technique works to get him back to sleep. Typically waking after 30 minutes means he is having trouble transitioning through sleep cycles, so you can assist him by providing some assistance. If he is falling asleep on his own initially, and you are able to assist him in falling back asleep after 30 minutes, I would expect his sleep cycles to lengthen again on their own. |
Hi Keriann,
My 7.5 month old used to be a champion sleeper (long naps, slept for 5+ hour stretches at night or through the night without needing to be fed). Her naps shortened and night wake ups increased after the time change, some teething, and learning to crawl which makes sense. Now her naps vary by day (some long, some short) and she wakes up through the night (sometimes every three hours) crying and wanting to be fed. Sometimes she'll go right back to sleep after a bottle and other times she'll stay up, energized for an hour or longer. She knows how to fall asleep on her own but lately if we leave the room when she's awake she'll cry. We're not doing CIO (we don't want to either) but we'll give her five minutes to self soothe before briefly checking in with her but when we leave she'll cry again. What do you suggest we do to help her with short naps and to be more independent at night. Thank you so much for your help!!
And we do a 2, then 3 hour wake time between naps and a 6:30 to 7pm bedtime.
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Keriann M.
Hi Rebecca! Thank you for your question! At that age, I find that many babies do better with a set schedule rather than going by awake times. The time change, teething and crawling combo likely got her rhythm out of whack, so a set schedule will help her get back on track. I recommend a schedule of 7am wake up, 9:30 am first nap, 2:00 pm second nap, 7:00 bedtime (or within 30 minutes of this). It also sounds like she may be using the bottle as a form of comfort rather than actually being hungry. I would limit night feedings to 1 feeding per night (somewhere between 12a-3a) since you know she is perfectly capable of going through the night without feeding. For the other night wakings, I would wait 10 minutes before responding to see if she can resettle on her own. If not, then go check on her and encourage her to go back to sleep without feeding for the other wakeups. Increasing your wait time to 10 minutes will give her more of an opportunity to self-settle. Some babies are disrupted more by the parents coming in, so giving her a little more time to self-settle may help. |
My baby is 3.5 months old. She naps usually on someone, in the rock n' play or the carrier. SHe goes to sleep at night after a bottle, in a swing with LOUD white noise. When she wakes in the middle of the night, if she's not hungry, I can get her back to sleep by making the swing faster and the white noise louder.
At what point do I need to start getting a schedule (I'd like to have one) and getting her settled in a crib without a swing and the white noise that loud?
When and what should I start doing?
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Keriann M.
Hi Merle! Thank you for your question. I think you can start shaping your baby's sleep now. At 3.5 months, I wouldn't recommend doing a set daily schedule per se, but would be very strict with awake times. I would expect that she can likely handle about 1.5 hours of awake time, so I would be very consistent with offering naps 1.5 hours after she wakes from her previous sleep. If she is waking roughly at the same time each morning, then she will likely fall into her own predicable pattern, which will become more predictable for you. I would recommend having a set wake time in the morning (time you get her out of the crib to start your day) and a set bedtime at night to start shaping your days (I would stay within 30 minutes of your ideal times each day). I would keep the white noise, as this can be very helpful for sleep, especially naps. I think transitioning her to the crib now would be fine. You will likely have better success at bedtime than starting at a nap since sleep tends to come more easily at night than during the day. |
Hi,
My almost one year old is a total swing addict for Naptime. I feel so guilty because I realize that I am to blame for this habit, but how do I break it for good? She takes such great, long, restful naps in the swing, and it calms her down well if she is agitated. Crib naps, however are a whole different animal. There have been times when she has refused to take a nap altogether because I put her in the crib, even though she clearly needed one. I use the same nap routine. I don't even turn on the swing anymore, she just sleeps in a stationary swing, but won't sleep in a stationary crib (just for naps, she sleeps in her crib all night). They are right next to each other in her bedroom. I tried taking it out and going cold turkey but we had such a miserable week I got desperate and brought it back. Help, we are total swing addicts!
-Desperate mama
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Keriann M.
Daytime sleep can be very hard for some babies. I would recommend removing the swing as an option. If she can see it, she will want to be in it, so removing it completely will help. For babies having trouble sleeping during the day, I recommended blacking out the windows as much as possible to make the room as dark as you can. Even the slightest bit of light can be disruptive, so the goal is to make it as dark as it would be at night. I would do a nap time routine that is similar to what you do at bedtime so she knows sleep is coming (i.e. diaper change, book, song, in bed). Whatever she sleeps with at night she should have for naps. If she doesn't already use a lovey, you may want to introduce one as a form of comfort. She also may enjoy a sleep sack and find that more comforting. White noise can be helpful for daytime sleep as well. The key is helping her find a new preferred routine for naps that does not include the swing. Since nights are going well, duplicating as much as you can from her nighttime routine will help. It can take 1-4 weeks for babies to adjust to a shift in their sleep routines (especially for naps), so you have to stick with it for a while. It is inevitable that she will fight naps in the beginning. If you have days like that where she fights a nap for over an hour, then get her up and distract her with some playtime or a snack and try again in the crib. If she still fights for another 30 minutes, then try going for a car ride to see if she will take a catnap in the car to recoup some sleep. On days she takes no naps, do an early bedtime (6pm is not out of the question)! If you are consistent, she will eventually catch on. It can be a difficult habit to break. |
Lately I cannot seem to get the babies to sleep more than one hour stretches sometimes tw,o even throughout the night. How can I get them to start sleeping longer stretches?
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Keriann M.
Sleeping longer stretches often depends on how babies are falling asleep initially. If they are relying on any kind of sleep "prop" (i.e. rocking to sleep, nursing to sleep, laying with a parent, etc) to fall asleep initially, then they will wake when experiencing a transition in sleep cycles (often around the hour mark) and need that prop to come back and put them back to sleep each and every time. The best way to stop this is to be sure they are awake when going down for the night and falling asleep on their own in their own sleeping environment. That way when they experience brief awakenings throughout the night (as everyone does), they will be in a familiar place and will know how to put themselves back to sleep without a sleep prop. |
My 6.5 month old daughter was consistently sleeping 7:30pm-ish-7am... sometimes 6:30am. Now she's getting up around 4:30am. Going to bed routine continues to be the same and is working fine. I'm trying to wait until 6am to feed her. Not sure if that helps. Appreciate any insights!
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Keriann M.
Hi Claudia! Thank you for your question! The most common cause for early rising in the mornings is over-tiredness at bedtime. If your baby is over-tired when going to sleep, they often have trouble staying asleep. This sounds counter-intuitive, but it's true. My first suggestion would be to try an earlier bedtime. I would move bedtime up by 30 minutes (7:00) and see if that helps. Stick with this new time for at least a week before deciding whether or not it is helping. I would certainly continue waiting until a minimum of 6am before getting out of bed and starting the day, to encourage her to go back to sleep and to not create a new habitual wakening at that hour. You may find this blog post helpful: |
Hi,
Our 2.9 month old has been a good sleeper so far. Typically sleeps(slept) through the night, accompanied with a nap from 2-4pm. He has been waking up atleast once every night, sometimes twice. When we tell him to go back to sleep he does, doesn't ask for food or milk. Things that have changed are:
1) our family welcomed a new baby, 6 months ago, but our toddler has been generally secure, good with the baby
2) toddler going through language burst
Any thing we can do to get his night sleeping schedule back on track? He wakes up around 7;30am every morning, bed around 8/830pm and naps from 2-4pm
Thanks so much!
Best,
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Keriann M.
Well, the good news is he is going back to sleep on his own during those night wakings! That is fantastic and I would encourage him to keep doing that. Don't panic and create any new habits (i.e. coming to your bed, needing someone to lay with him, etc.) during this time. It is very possible that the transitions you mentioned are having an effect on his sleep, the language development in particular. When kids are working on developmental milestones, they often experience interrupted sleep. If you stay consistent with how you respond to these wakings, his good sleep will likely return in a week or two. However, his daily schedule may need some tweaking. His nap is on the late side, making it too close to bedtime, which may be effecting his nighttime sleep. With a 7:30am wake time, I would recommend a nap at 1:00pm with a bedtime around 7:30/8pm (that means lights out at that time). |
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Nina THANKS SO MUCH! We'll shift his nap earlier. Is it okay if we do it in 15 min increments as he might be resistant to going to down at 1pm at the beginning? |
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Keriann M.
Yes, you can shift it slowly if that makes it easier. |
My son Carter is 4 months old. He has generally been an amazing sleeper since he was about 2 months, going to bed around 8 (he can put himself to sleep) and waking up around 6:30/7. He does not eat during the night. Over the past few weeks he has started "waking up" several times a night often an hour or so after he goes to bed and then in the early morning hours (3,4) He cries but his eyes are not usually open. Typically all we do is restart the white noise, give him a pacifier and he settles down immediately but I'm not sure if my response is correct or if I should be doing something different to help him ultimately not have these episodes. I appreciate any thoughts or advice.
-Kathleen
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Keriann M.
Hi Kathleen! Thank you for the question! At 4 months, I usually have babies on a daily routine that is 12 hours of day and 12 hours of night. If he is waking around 7am, then he is probably ready for an earlier bedtime, I'd recommend 7pm. If he is over-tired at bedtime, that often leads to a waking after the first sleep cycle (usually around the 1 hour mark), and can cause middle of the night wakings as well. When using white noise, I recommend continuous white noise that stays on all night rather than one that shuts off automatically. That way, when he wakes in the middle of the night, his sleep environment is consistent with how he fell asleep at bedtime. Usually if babies are fine with the pacifier falling out and not needing replaced constantly throughout the night, then I'm fine with that. But, if it becomes an issue where you need to replace the pacifier a million times, you may want to consider removing the pacifier for sleeping purposes and help him learn to fall asleep without it. |
One of my 6 month twin boys will only sleep 3-4 hour stretches at night. I put him down awake and he can put himself to sleep at 7 pm with no trouble, but is waking 3-4 times per night to nurse. We've tried sleep training with no luck. After 45 minutes to an hour, he is still awake and can't get himself back to sleep, even with a fair amount of soothing. Any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance!
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Keriann M.
Hi Melissa! Thank you for the question! Although he is putting himself to sleep at bedtime, it is possible he is using nursing as a sleep "prop" in the middle of the night. At that age (and assuming he is at a healthy weight), I would expect that he wouldn't need more than 1-2 night feedings, if any. Having a set time period that you offer feeds can help, perhaps between 12a - 3a, any wakings outside of that encourage him to fall back asleep without nursing. When nursing, be sure he is staying fully awake for the entire feed, not even getting drowsy during the feed. I recommend doing a diaper change first, to fully waken him and break the waking/feeding association. Then nurse, being sure he stays fully awake and actively feeds throughout. You may have to remove him from the breast if his eyes are getting heavy, then resume feeding once he full awakens. Lay him back in bed awake to let him fall asleep on his own, just as you do at bedtime. This will help break any lingering feed/sleep associations he may be hanging on to. Also, be careful you are not providing too much soothing during the other wake ups. Since you know he can put himself to sleep, he should be doing that each and every time. |
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Melissa Thanks so much for the helpful advice, we will try it tonight! |
My 13 month old girl transitioned to her crib about 6 weeks ago (we were previously co-sleeping). She will fall asleep by herself without a pacifier although I stay in the room with her until she does sleep. She used to sleep through the night on most days and on a few nights wake briefly but go back to sleep quite easily. This past week, she has been waking up much more frequently and crying. She will not go back to sleep unless I pick her up and rock her. For a few nights she also started screaming at bedtime as soon as I put her in the crib and would take an hour or 2 to settle down. She takes 2 naps a day and bedtime is between 7:30-8. She usually wakes up between 6:30-7 am, but now with her disrupted sleep at night she wakes up at 8am which throws off our entire morning schedule. I'm wondering if it could be teething or is something else going on? Any suggestions for helping her sleep through the night again? Thanks!
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Keriann M.
It sounds like she started to develop independent sleep skills, but then became reliant on your presence somewhere along the way. When she wakes in the middle of the night and you are not there, she panics a bit and needs you to come back. I would avoid rocking her to sleep. If you need to rock her to calm her, that is fine, but as soon as she calms down I would lay her back down in the crib to fall asleep on her own. I would recommend that you stop sitting in her room at bedtime to help her get used to falling asleep on her own. Have a set time interval that you will come check on her if she is upset (I recommend 10 minutes, but you can work up to that if you aren't comfortable with that right away). If she is still crying after 10 minutes, go in and provide some comfort and reassurance, then leave the room again so she can eventually fall asleep on her own. Keep your check-ins brief. To keep your day on track, I would wake her at her usual time each morning (7am) and try an earlier bedtime to help her recoup some of the lost sleep (7pm). This may be a temporary regression, but if you stay consistent with your response, she will likely resume her good sleep within a week or two. Be careful not to introduce any new "sleep props" in the meantime (rocking to sleep)! |
Hi, our daughter has a falling asleep issue since she was born. She is only screaming to madness and than gets tired, which I hate. So I nurse her to fall her asleep, or if we carry her until she`s sleeping really deeply. It`s exhaustive. If I put her to crib during the night, she wakes up 30 mins later crying that nobody is close to her, couple times. How can we change it? She`s a big hugger and snuggler during the day too, but daytime is fine.
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Keriann M.
This is a tough one. The key to helping her get past that 30 minute wake up is to help her learn how to fall asleep completely independently of you. If you can lay her in the crib awake and she can learn to put herself to sleep without intervention, I would expect that she will start sleeping longer stretches on her own. Some sort of "sleep training" may be warranted here, but finding the right technique could be a challenge. I would recommend trying a gentler method where you check on her periodically and offer some comfort to keep her calm as she is learning to fall asleep on her own. Whatever comforting you provide (rocking, holding, etc) be sure you only do it long enough to calm her, not long enough to put her to sleep. I'd be happy to offer you a free 15 minute evaluation call to make sure there isn't anything else going on and to discuss some of the various methods if you like. You can book a call with me using this link: http://www.dreamfactorysleep.com/book-online |
Hi Keriann-- We are flying to LA next week with our almost 6 month old son and will be in California for 5 nights. I am looking for advice on how to handle his sleep schedule with the 3 hour time difference...He is pretty consistent with 6:30/7 pm bed time, still up to feed typically once or twice (simetimes 3 times..) in middle of the night then up for the day around 7 am. He takes 3-4 naps a day ranging from 30 mins-2 hrs (still gets tired every 90 mins-2hrs). Is it best to try to keep him on east coast time while we are there, fully switch him to west coast time or adjust him half way (that was the advice of a friend)??
Another question I have is about nursing baby to sleep...We have fallen into a pattern of doing feedings before naps and bedtime and he typically falls asleep that way or I rock him to sleep before putting him down. Am I creating a bad habit in doing this?? If so, how do I fix it and whats an ideal schedule at this age? I have tried the EASY schedule but have a hard time sticking to it! He is so distracted the first feed of the morning and that throws off the whole day...
Thanks in advance for any advice you have.
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Keriann M.
Hi Kate! Thank you for your question! It can take a week or two to get adjusted to a new time zone. Since you will only be there a short period of time I would recommend keeping your baby as close to his normal time zone as possible (within an hour of his usual time if possible). |
We struggle to get our daughter to the point that she knows it's time to lie down and go to sleep at night. She sleeps in a toddler bed in our room, but when we go in there to put her down, even if we've done a bath and books and other calming activities, it's a battle to keep her from standing up and getting out of her bed. How do we get to the point that we can tuck her in and read her a story and know that she'll stay there, even if she doesn't fall asleep right away?
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Brian Also, just to add some more details -- our daughter is 22 months old. We have always nursed or rocked her to sleep. She has gotten better lately, and will often drift to sleep on her own once she is actually lying down with her blanket on her, but our struggle is getting her to lie down in the first place. |
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Keriann M.
Hi Brian! Thank you for your question! This age can be quite challenging. I typically don't recommend transitioning to a toddler bed until closer to age 3 for the exact reasons you are describing. 2 year olds have a much harder time understanding the invisible boundaries and "freedom" that comes with a toddler bed, so I usually recommend keeping kiddos in a crib until as close to age 3 as possible. At 3 they are better able to understand expectations and consequences. With that said, you have to set the expectation that the only acceptable behavior is to lay quietly in her bed, whether she is asleep or not. Any behavior other than laying quietly should result in a consequence. Consistency is key! You can't threaten and not follow through. I would certainly encourage you to stop nursing/rocking to sleep and encourage her to fall asleep on her own each and every time, especially since you know she can. In order to help her prepare for bedtime, I find it helpful to do a bedtime chart where she can put a sticker or check mark after each activity (i.e. took a bath (check), brushed teeth (check), laid in bed quietly (check), stayed in bed until 7am (check - get reward in morning). Having a visual chart often makes bedtime fun at this age and gives her a sense of control, while preparing her that bedtime is coming. I would certainly reward the desired behavior and consequence the undesired behavior. This can be a very tricky age to work with, and depends largely on the child's temperament and personality. I'd be happy to have a free evaluation call with you if you would like to chat in more child-specific terms. You can book a call with me using this link... |
My daughter can generally put herself to sleep, but her overnight stretches have decreased, and now she wakes to feed every three hours or so. She is breastfeed with some formula supplementation. I'm not expecting her to STTN at this age. Any ideas to extend the stretch? She often doesn't get a full feeding though before falling asleep on the breast, which is one of the reasons I'm wondering if we can eliminate one of those wakes for eating.
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Keriann M.
Hi Julie! Thank you for your question! It is a great sign that she can put herself to sleep at bedtime. It sounds like she may still be using the feeds as a way to fall back asleep in the middle of the night, though. If you are going to continue offering feedings, I would recommend keeping here AWAKE during the feed and encouraging her to fall back to sleep on her own each and every time. For night feedings, try changing her diaper first to break the waking/feeding association. Then offer the feed, being sure she stays awake and actively feeds the entire time. This may mean you have to remove her from the breast or bottle if she starts to drift off to sleep or gets too relaxed. Give her a burp until she is awake again, then resume the feed. Make sure when you lay her back in the crib, she is awake and puts herself back to sleep on her own. Also, when she wakes at night, I would wait about 10 minutes before responding to her to see if she will fall back asleep. Babies often wake throughout the night as they transition sleep cycles, so you want to be sure she is truly awake and not just resettling before offering a feed. |
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Julie Thanks Keriann! She's still in her Rock and Play and about to transition to the crib. Any pointers for that? |
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Keriann M.
I would try getting her to sleep in the crib at bedtime rather than naps at first. She is likely to be more tired and ready for sleep at nighttime than she will be for daytime, so you are likely to be more successful starting the transition at night. Otherwise, just go for it and don't look back. It might be difficult for a few days, but if you stay consistent she will catch on quickly that the RnP is no longer an option. |
Our daughter is 5 weeks old. Someone told us that if we try to keep her awake more during the day it will help her to sleep through the night. Is that true? How should we do that and how much does she need to sleep during the day? Thanks!
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Keriann M.
No, this is not true! This is one of the most common pieces of advice I hear, but it is the exact opposite of what you should do. "Sleep begets sleep", meaning the better she sleeps during the day, the better she will sleep at night. When babies aren't getting adequate sleep during the day, they become over-tired, which causes the body to produce a hormone in an effort to stay awake (what we refer to as our "second wind"). If you are trying to put your baby to sleep in this over-tired state with hormones working against you, you are likely to have WORSE sleep at night, not better. At 5 weeks, your baby needs about 16-18 hours of sleep in a 24 hour period. She should be awake about 45 min - 1 hour in between naps, ideally each nap would be 1.5-3 hours each (this will likely result in 4-6 naps per day). She should be asleep more than she is awake at this age, that is completely normal! |
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Keriann M.
Merle, as a general rule, I would say there is no such thing as too much sleep, especially with a newborn. Most babies will wake naturally when they are hungry, but if you are worried about sleeping too much during day, then it is ok to wake them every 3-4 hours to feed during daytime hours, but I would let them sleep as long as they can at night to encourage longer stretches of sleep at night. Exposure to light during daytime hours and exposure to darkness during the night is usually enough to help regulate circadian rhythm. |
My 2.5 year old boy started crawling out of his crib. After doing it 40 times (not exaggerating) in one night, we agreed we needed to convert to the toddler rail for his safety since he wasn't going to give up on it. (My daughter stayed in her crib until 3.5, so I understand the importance of keeping them in there as long as possible, I promise.) We have the OK to Wake clock, but he's not quite there yet in terms of really understanding what it means...although he's excited when he sees the green light (but misses the point when he's up all hours of the night.)
We've been able to get him to bed before 8:30 but have to sit where he can see us before he falls asleep. Bedtime routine consists of stories and songs but can drag on for over an hour because he doesn't want to be in bed. He wakes up multiple times a night acting scared. Probably because he doesn't see us in the hall anymore? If I get to him quickly, I can settle him back down with a few pats on the back, but am sitting in the hall until he's asleep. However the last week or so, he's waking up around 2/3 and just wants to play. I try to shut it down but he has a meltdown. I'll sit by his bed, rubbing his back until he's almost asleep, but when I go to move to the hall he's wide awake and wants to play. That cycle has him (us) up for at least 2 hours during the night OR even worse, up for the day at 3a. He's now perpetually overtired making this whole process worse. I have tried being consistent by walking him straight back to his bed and being as boring as possible, but when he's in meltdown mode, I risk waking his older sister and feel like I need to protect her sleep. Help?
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I should add that he's in daycare and easily naps for 2 hours there but have the same issues listed above when trying to get him nap at home. Immediately prior to this he was 7:30p-6:30a + 2 hour nap sleeper. |
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Keriann M.
The first thing I would do is set the expectation that he must lay in bed quietly, whether he is asleep or not. The transition to a toddler bed can be confusing, so it is important to help him understand that the only acceptable behavior is to lay quietly. I would say "I will sit where you can see me if you lay quietly, but I will leave and close the door if you try to get out of bed (or engage in conversation)." If he lays quietly, you stay in sight, if not, you leave for a brief period of time, then return and give him the chance to lay quietly again. Once he catches on to the "lay quietly" rule, you can slowly go further and further away in your sitting position to slowly wean him off of your presence. It is important that you return him to bed (quietly and boring as you said) each and every time and remind him that he needs to lay quietly until the clock turns green, no matter what time of night it is. If he can stay in bed until the clock turns green, reward that behavior with a treat in the morning. It is possible that he is ready to drop his naps. Many kids will still nap out of habit, but when they start fighting bedtime that hard, it may be time to stop the nap. Anywhere from 2.5-3 is normal range to drop naps, so you may want to consider that as an option if you don't see improvement soon. |
Cooper is my 3rd. My first two were great sleepers and followed a solid schedule. Cooper has silent reflux and that has caused major sleep issues. That in addition to having to bend to the pick up and drop off requirements of his older siblings have made scheduling difficult. We just moved to a new house and really need to get back to a routine. Each day I try but his wake ups are inconsistent and so the day starts off different every day. I need him to wake at 6:30 but he has woken up at 5:15/5:30. The past 2 weeks he has had an ear infection and we moved. There have been nights where he woke every few hours. He goes to bed at 8:30 and I dreamfeed at 11:00. He takes 2 naps (first 1.5-2 hrs and second about 1.5). Help! How do I get this baby on a good sleep schedule.
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Angela He also wakes 1/2 way through naps often. If he wakes at 5:15 to nurse should I nurse again at 6:30? |
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Keriann M.
Hi Angela! How old is Cooper? Age can make a big difference in my response ;) |
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Angela He is almost 9 months |
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Angela He eats 3 meals a day |
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Keriann M.
Thank you for the additional information. At 9 months I find that many babies do well with a set schedule. I would first start with a consistent bedtime and wake time in the morning. To encourage a consistent wake time, I would leave him in the crib until it is time to start the day, so if 6:30 is your desired wake time, then I would leave him in the crib as close to that as possible. Any wakings before 6:30am should be treated like a middle of the night waking, and encourage him to go back to sleep. I would base the naps off of a 6:30am wake up. Ideal times for naps would be around 9am and 2pm, depending on when you have to pick your other kiddos up. At 9 months, I typically strive for 12 hours of nighttime sleep, so if he has to wake at 6:30am then he should be in bed by 6:30pm at night (ideally). Early rising and frequent night wakings are often a result of over-tiredness at bedtime, so my first response is to try an earlier bedtime. If 6:30 isn't doable, then try for 7:00. It can take a week or more for his body to adjust to this new schedule, so give it some time before determining whether or not it is helping. I would not do a dream feed at this age. Instead, I would let him wake naturally if he is hungry, rather than intentionally getting him up to eat. |
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Angela Thank you so much! From reading your response to others I should also work on not nursing him when he wakes middle of the night. So do I pull off the bandaid and implement all these changes at once or go one at a time!! |
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Keriann M.
If you are trying to lessen his night wakings, then yes, I would recommend not nursing to sleep, even in the middle of the night. When I work with families we often make all the changes at one time. I find that getting it all done at once can get quicker results than rolling changes out one at a time and being in a constant state of transition, but it can be a rocky few nights. Most babies at 9 months of age catch on quickly though, so if you are consistent it is possible to see positive changes quickly. Feel free to reach out to me if you need further assistance! |
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Angela Thank you! We have a busy weekend ahead of us so we may need to wait until Monday. Daddy may need to be the one to go in to comfort him in the middle of the night. |
Hi Keriann
My son is exactly 12 weeks. He's been sleeping through the night for about 3-4 weeks (that being 9pm -5/6am). But he's a terrible napper and makes our days/evenings hard. I'm trying to get him down (in his crib in his room) 2x a day but he fights and fights it which makes him even more over tired and cranky. The only way he will really nap is if it's on me. Is it ok to let him cry it out or is he too young? Any suggestions to help him nap better? Thanks!
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Keriann M.
Hi Ally & Allie ;) Thank you both for your questions. Short naps are oh so common at this age! It usually has to do with difficulty transitioning sleep cycles. To remedy this, it is helpful if baby is aware of his/her surroundings when falling asleep, that way when they briefly waken during that sleep transition, they know where they are and can put themselves back to sleep. That also means they need to be putting themselves to sleep initially, rather than relying on a "sleep prop" (i.e. nursing to sleep, rocking to sleep, etc). I would expect a 12 week old to be taking at least 3 naps a day (ideally 1.5-3 hours each). If you have only been attempting 2 naps a day, then he is likely over-tired. Most parents are missing their babies' sleep cues. If you are waiting until he/she is fussy and cranky, you have likely missed their ideal sleep window. I would try putting him down 1.5 hours after he woke from his previous sleep, all day long. This will help ensure he is being offered sleep at appropriate times before over-tiredness sets in. When they wake before an hour, run in quickly and try to help them transition sleep cycles by jiggling the mattress, patting, gently rocking, etc. in an effort to lengthen each nap. If you can succeed with this, they may learn to transition those sleep cycles over time. Be patient! Naps take time develop. Give any changes a week or two before determining whether or not it is helping. |
My almost 7 month old is waking every hour since she hit her 6 month mark. She has cut two teeth and we have begun incorporating formula in her diet as I am not producing enough milk these days. I've tried every sleep sack/suit, different beds, Motrin, bottle before bed and midnight feeding, but nothing seems to help. I'm also puzzled because she flips onto her stomach, but seems to prefer sleeping that way. Any suggestions??!!
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Keriann M.
With frequent night wakings like this, the most common culprit is that the baby is relying on some sort of "sleep prop" when falling asleep. If your baby is nursing to sleep, being rocked to sleep, even using a pacifier for sleep, this can lead to multiple night wakings. It is normal for babies to have brief awakenings as they are transitioning through sleep cycles (often at the 1 hour mark), but if they are used to something external putting them to sleep, then they will need that sleep prop to come back and put them back to sleep each and every time, so you'll want to be sure she is capable of putting herself to sleep without that kind of prop. |
Hi, At the holidays we will be traveling to Ireland with a (then) five month old. We will be there for 9 night. What is the best way to handle the time difference (five hours ahead). She is currently sleeping from 6:30 pm to 7 am, with one dreamfeed and we would like to keep her on this. If have thought about keeping her on American time. What would you recommend?
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Keriann M.
Hi Sue! Thank you for your question! That is a very difficult time difference and there is no easy solution. It usually takes 1-2 weeks for your body to fully adjust to that kind of time change, so I would recommend keeping your baby as close to her American time schedule as possible. At least staying within a couple of hours of her usual sleep schedule. For the most part, I would follow her sleep cues and offer sleep at the appropriate awake windows. At 5 months I would expect that she can go about 2 hours in between naps, so I would try to stay within that window to make sure she doesn't get over-tired. Offer sleep at regular intervals regardless of what the clock says. |
Hi Keriann--
Thank you so much for helping!! My 11-month old has been mostly co-sleeping with me. His crib is in our room and we want to eventually move him into his 5 yr old brother and sister's room. It has been hard sleep training at all with the twins competing bedtimes and him sleeping in our room. Our problem is that he doesn't sleep through the night. I nurse him to sleep and put him in his crib between 7:00-8:00 PM. He sleeps fine until I go to bed (and naps fine in his crib as well). Literally, as soon as I sit on the bed, he wakes up crying and I end up bringing him to bed with me so that I can get some sleep. He ends up sleeping with me the rest of the night nursing. I want to move him into the twins' room and start sleep training, but I don't want to interfere with their bedtime routines. Do you have any advice? (I know I've started bad habits but it's been a survival technique!) Thank you again!!!
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Keriann M.
Hi Kerry! Thank you for your question. Don't beat yourself up about starting "bad habits", you did what you had to do to survive ;) The first thing I would recommend is to stop nursing to sleep. Mix up your bedtime routine and make nursing the first step rather than the last. Encourage him to fall asleep on his own in his crib. If you are not already using white noise, I would introduce that as a way to drown out the sounds of you coming to bed each night. White noise can help mask the little sounds you make when coming to bed, so hopefully he wouldn't wake up every time. It also may be helpful if there is a visual barrier between the crib and your bed (i.e. hanging a sheet from the ceiling so he can't see you). If that isn't possible, then having the room as dark as possible so he cannot see you would be very helpful. I would also encourage you to stop bringing him to your bed, if your goal is to get him sleeping in his crib. This could cause a few nights of discomfort for you all, but he will likely catch on quickly if you are consistent. I would work on helping him develop independent sleep skills before moving him into the bedroom with other kids. There are a lot of issues at hand here, so I am unable to give a quick "fix-all" solution. I'd be happy to offer you a free evaluation phone call if you'd like to chat more in depth. Please use this link to schedule a call with me if you'd like. |
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Kerry Thank you so much! I know this will not be easy or quick, but will help us all in the long run. |
My twins turned two in October. They have been great sleepers since they were a year old, going to bed around 745 and sleeping generally until 7am. They used to nap from 11:30--1:30/2pm. In November, between changing their naps to later since they weren't falling asleep, and the time change, they have had SUCH trouble falling asleep. They now nap from 12:30/1-2:30/3pm. They still go down at 745, but often my daughter is up until 9pm and getting up at 6am! She also is keeping my son up. I don't know what to do. We've been leaving them in their beds until 7 and enforcing their bedtime, BUT bedtime is a nightmare w/them playing in cribs or asking for water or mommy or whatever and I don't think they are sleeping enough. I worry that they are sleeping until too late, but if they don't nap it would be a nightmare. Is it a phase? Can we do something different. Their routine hasn't changed (bath, books, bottle, brush teeth, bed).
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Keriann M.
Hi Catalina! Thank you for your question. Age 2 is a common time for kiddos to start fighting naps, but it is often a temporary struggle due to a lot of development happening around that time. Most kiddos aren't ready to drop a nap until closer to age 3 so I would certainly recommend hanging on to the nap as best you can. Since they are experiencing early rising in the mornings, I would recommend shifting to an earlier nap time. At that age, they should be awake 5-6 hours in between sleep, so if they are waking at 6am then nap should be at noon, and bedtime should be 5-6 hours after they wake from nap. I would limit their naps to 2 hours to ensure they will be ready for sleep at bedtime. Often early rising in the mornings is a result of over tiredness at bedtime, so my first recommendation is an earlier bedtime. I know that sounds counter-intuitive, but over-tiredness actually makes falling asleep and staying asleep more difficult. You should keep doing what you are doing in the mornings, leave them in bed until 7am, try nap at noon (no more than 2 hours) and a 7/7:30 bedtime. At this point, they need to recoup the sleep debt from lost sleep so an earlier bedtime will help this. Stay consistent with this schedule for a week or two before determining whether or not it is helping. It can take 1-4 weeks for their bodies to adjust to a shift in sleep patterns, so give it time. |
Should I be using my premature baby's adjusted age when considering sleep training? She has slept through night before, 8-9 hours but has been waking every 3 to nurse back to sleep for the last few weeks. I tried rocking her to sleep, which works but it takes sooooo much longer than just nursing and I'm exhausted so I chose nursing. She also only naps 30 min at a time during day unless she's in a carrier or held. If she's in carrier or held she can nap 2 hours straight. Any tips? I constantly feel like I'm doing it all wrong.
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Keriann M.
I usually go by adjusted age developmentally speaking, but I also say you should hold your baby to her personal best. If you know she is capable of going 8-9 hours without feeding, then I would expect her to do that going forward. Instead, I would encourage her to go back to sleep without nursing. Since you know she can go 8-9 hours without nursing, she is likely nursing for comfort rather than hunger. Instead of replacing one "sleep prop" with another (rocking), I would recommend encouraging her to fall asleep in her crib, ideally without your assistance. Having those independent sleep skills will also help to lengthen her naps. |
Hi and thanks for your help! My almost 6-month old son has never been a great nighttime sleeper. At about 4 months he was up 6 to 8 times a night wanting to be fed or his pacifier, so we started the Ferber method at that time. We were somewhat successful with that and had gotten him to a point where we was not eating in the night and would sleep almost the whole night. But it was very tough and sometimes he would cry for two hours in the night. He also really loves his pacifier and we were trying to cut that habit at night too. Unfortunately, then we traveled 5 time zones and obviously he was confused about when he should be eating and sleeping and was up again and eating in the night. When we got home I was going to sleep train again, but then he cut his first two teeth. So now that his teeth have broken through, I am planning to sleep train again. Is my best approach to go back to the Ferber method with no pacifier and no nighttime feedings? I am dreading going through that again, but dont see what other options I have! He does have a consistent bedtime at 6:30pm and routine and usually sleeps until 6:30 or 7. He also takes 2 to 3 naps, with the morning nap usually being 2 to 2.5 hours and afternoon naps 1 to 1.5 hours. Thanks!
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Keriann M.
Hi Laura! Thank you for your question! I think doing some sort of sleep training with no pacifier and no nighttime feeds will be your quickest route to success. There are a lot of different techniques for sleep training, so choose one that works best for you and stick with it! Consistency is key. If Ferber worked before, then you can certainly try that again. Hopefully it will be easier the second time around since you know he has the skills, he just needs to be reminded to use them. I'd be happy to have a free evaluation call with you if you'd like to discuss some of the different sleep training approaches. You can book a call with me using this link if you are interested... |
Hello, my daughter is almost 7 months. I have some issues with her sleep that I would like to tweak, but don't know if it's unrealistic due to our lifestyle. For example, she only naps for 30 mins at a time, 3 times a day. She also is still waking 2x a night. I hesitate to train her because we like to travel, be out and about during the day with her toddler sister, and don't put her down at the exact same time every night. Is it possible to help her sleep longer stretches at night and to nap while keeping some flexibility in our schedule?
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Keriann M.
Hi Jennifer! Thank you for your question! I hear this from parents often. There is no magic solution that can turn your baby into an on-the-go napper if that is not her natural temperament. If she is struggling to sleep for long stretches, then a consistent routine will go a LONG way in helping her do that. Also having a consistent location for sleep is a good idea. Babies thrive on consistency and routine, especially for sleep, so it is not likely she will suddenly start sleeping better without giving her some sort of consistency. If she knows when and where she is expected to sleep, she will likely sleep much better. Keep in mind that this phase of life is temporary and you won't be bound to a nap schedule forever. In the meantime, however, I personally would rather be at home with a happy, well-rested baby than out and about with an over-tired baby ;) As she gets older she will become more flexible as her stamina increases with age, but babies this age often need naps and bedtime that are very consistent if you want her sleep to improve. |
Hi Keriann,
My just turned 3 yr old has always been a great sleeper and bed time use to be easy. Now all of a sudden I am getting horrible tantrums at bedtime. It starts out with typical stalling efforts: I need water, I have to pee..ect but usually could nip it in the bud and she would go to bed. the last few nights that has progressed to all out screams and crying. I am not sure what is happening and how to rectify it!
A little background...she sleeps 7/7:30 to 7/7:30 and naps 1-2 hours. We also have a 5 month old in the picture.
Thank you!!!
Charissa
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Keriann M.
Ok, don't shoot me ;) Age 3 is a very common age for kiddos to drop a nap. Some kids will simply refuse naps, but some will still happily take a nap out of habit. The only sign for those kiddos that the nap needs to go is fighting bedtime. If she is not quite tired enough at bedtime, then that will lead to all the stalling techniques she can think of (3 year olds can be quite clever). I would consider either dropping the nap or moving bedtime later to see if that helps. My preference would be dropping the nap and replacing that with "quiet time" where she reads books or plays independently for about an hour each day for some down time. You may need to do a slightly earlier bedtime as she adjusts to this new schedule. It can take a couple of weeks for her to fully adjust. |
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Charissa Although the idea of no nap is hard to grasp, if it takes away these tantrums I'll take it! |
Hi Keriann, my son is 18 months and is in part-time daycare two days a week (Tues & Fri) from 11:30am - 5:30pm. The rest of the time he is home with a nanny or with his grandmother (or me & daddy on the weekends). He has been on this schedule consistently for about two months. At home he naps very well once each day, usually for 1.5-2 hours, but not at the exact same time every day. Some days he is tired by 11am and some days he doesn't seem ready for a nap until closer to 1pm. At daycare, they have nap time from about 12:30-2:30pm, but he never seems to sleep for long enough, sometimes he only gets 30 minutes or even less, and almost never much more than 1 hour. He is otherwise fine at daycare but he does get a lot more cranky later on those days due to the lack of sleep. At night he sleeps pretty consistently with bedtime between 7-7:30pm and waking up between 6:30-7am. Any advice on how to help him adjust to sleeping better on his daycare days? Or should we just keep waiting for it to improve with time? Thank you so much for your help!
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Keriann M.
Hi Brett! Thank you for your question! It can take time for little ones to adjust to a new environment for sleeping, especially since it is only 2 days a week, so I would expect that to take even longer. It would be helpful if nap time was more consistent from day to day, so I would try to align your naps at home with the nap time at daycare. With a 7:00am wake up in the morning, 12:30 is an appropriate nap time. Giving him this consistency every day will help train his body to sleep at that same time each day. You also may want to talk with your daycare providers about the sleeping environment. If he is using white noise at home, you may want to ask if they would be willing to use white noise at daycare too. Try to duplicate the sleep environment as much as possible. If he sleeps with a special blanket or lovey at home, be sure to send that to daycare. With him only going 2 days a week, it will take longer for him to get used to sleeping in a new environment with other kids around, so give it time. The good news is, he is sleeping at all! Some sleep is better than no sleep, so that is an encouraging sign. It will hopefully improve with time. |
Get your questions in for Keriann now.
Our baby has been sleeping through the night without feedings since 10 weeks. For the last month he has been waking up every hour in his bassinet next to the bed. If you hold his legs up he will go back to sleep until you try to set them down. If you bring him in the big bed he sleeps soundly until 6:30 or 7:30. What should we do? thanks!
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Keriann M.
Hi Ash! Thank you for the question! I would first consider transitioning your little one to a crib rather than a bassinet. At 5 months, it is likely he is outgrowing it and may be uncomfortable. It is also possible that he has become reliant on being near you for sleep. If he is relying on laying next to you or having you hold his legs for sleep, then that may be causing frequent wake ups. I would recommend not bringing him to bed and encouraging him to fall asleep on his own to start developing independent sleep skills. It is common for babies to experience brief awakenings throughout the night as they transition sleep cycles (about every hour). If they are relying on a "sleep prop" (something external) to put them to sleep, then they will need that prop to come back to put them back to sleep each and every time. If being near you has become the prop, then I would try to break him of that habit and help him learn to sleep more independently. |
How many total hours of sleep does a 9 month old need? My 9 month old sleeps 10 hours at night, eats and then sleeps another2-3. Up for day around 630-7 and bedtime 630-7
I try and follow a 2-3-4 schedule but she naps only 30 min with the occasional 45-1hour. Short naps make for a LONG day. Not sure how to lengthen them
Thanks!
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Keriann M.
Hi Katrina! Thank you for your question! Most 9 month olds need 13-16 hours of sleep in a 24 hour period. Usually that is about 11-12 hours of nighttime sleep and 2 naps a day that are anywhere from 1.5 - 3 hours long. I find that many 9 month olds do better on a set nap schedule and can handle about 3 hours of awake time in between naps. A good schedule for that age would be 7am wake up, 9:30am - nap 1, 2:00pm - nap 2 and a 7:00 bedtime. Having a little more awake time may instantly improve nap length. I would stick to a schedule for a week or so before determining whether or not it is helping. If not, then I would encourage you to book a call with me so we could discuss in more detail how to lengthen naps. There can be many factors that effect naps. You can book a call with me using this link: |
My 4.5 month old was a pretty easy baby (slept great at night (generally one waking) and napped decently) until 2.5 weeks ago when she first started waking twice a night (we fed her both times -- about 6.5 oz formula) then started taking a while (2 hours) to fall asleep in the evening too. I assumed the 4 month sleep regression to start, but it kept worsening. She was swaddled with the miracle blanket and used a pacifier to fall asleep. So we thought maybe she was getting hooked on the paci and couldn't self soothe since it fell out before she was totally asleep. So we went to the zippadeezip thinking maybe her hands would help her self soothe and knowing we'd have to ditch the swaddle soon (she'd not rolling though). She's been falling asleep on her own at night (no pacifier but has a bottle right before bed) still waking twice to eat about 6 oz each time, and falls asleep on her own with no assistance. So naps ... we have her in the zippadeezip for naps now too with a pacifier to start which quickly Falls out with her flailing and I cannot get her to nap more than 30-40 mins and even falling asleep is often hard for her. I've tried earlier naps, later naps and all fail. I'm tempted to put her back in the swaddle for naps and possibly at night and see what happens but would that confuse her? Or I've considered trying the magic Merlin too. It seems maybe she's too young to be unswaddled. Any tips for naps and nights? Swaddle? No swaddle? Paci? She sleep in an interior room with white noise in her room
Thanks!!!!!
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Keriann M.
Hi Melissa! Thank you for your questions! In my experience swaddling is most effective in the first 10 weeks. After that, it often becomes a sleep prop (anything external your child is relying on to sleep). Since you have already stopped swaddling, I would not go back to that as you will undoubtedly have to break her of it again very soon when she starts rolling. I also don't really like any new gadgets such as the Magic Merlin that you will have to break her of later on. These are temporary fixes, so I prefer tackling it now so she can develop truly independent sleep skills which will help her learn to transition sleep cycles and sleep longer at night and for naps. I also usually recommend holding your baby to her personal best, so if she has gone with only 1 feeding at night, then I would hold her to that as she is likely feeding for comfort rather than hunger. I would recommend keeping 1 feeding between 12a-3a, and encourage her to go back to sleep on her own for any other night wakings. It seems that the pacifier may be causing problems at naps as well. If she's falling asleep with it initially, then waking 30-40 minutes later, that is an indicator she is having trouble transitioning through sleep cycles without her "sleep prop". I would recommend removing the pacifier from all sleep scenarios and encourage her to fall asleep independently each and every time. Keep the white noise, as long as it is continuous and plays for the duration of sleep (doesn't automatically shut off), and make sure the room is as dark as possible for naps and bedtime! This will encourage better daytime sleep. |
Hi! My 7.5mo has always been a good sleeper. Between 4-6 months she slept 7pm-6:30/7am. Now, at 7mos there have been a lot of changes - day light savings, teeth (she has two on the bottom & I think is working on a top tooth), sitting up & now starting to crawl. She currently wakes up between 5-6am. How do I work to get her back to at least a 6:30am wake up... or is this just a phase that I need to wait out? Thank you!!
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Keriann M.
Hi Emily! Thank you for your question! This is likely a phase due to the transitions you mentioned. Developmental milestones are notorious for interrupting sleep, but if you are consistent in your response and keep consistent boundaries with your sleep "rules", then she will likely return to her good sleep habits once she masters the new skills she is working on. In the meantime, I would have a minimum "wake time" to start your day of at least 6am, so if she wakes before 6am I would treat that like a night waking and encourage her to go back to sleep. I would not get her out of the crib or offer a feeding until at least 6:00am to encourage her to go back to sleep, and not get too used to starting her day too early. You can then slowly increase the time you leave her in the crib to 6:10 for a few days, then 6:20 for a few days until you reach your desired time of 6:30am. |
Hey there, I have a just turned 5 month old that is a great night sleeper. He sleeps in his own crib, falls asleep independently and only wakes once to eat. That being said, he is a horrible mapper! He takes these crappy little 30-45 minute naps and they're never consistent. I'm just wondering what a normal 'schedule' looks like for a 5 month old? Maybe I'm getting his awake time (in between naps) wrong...
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Keriann M.
Hi Brittany! Thank you for your question! It sounds like you have a lot of great things going on and you are certainly on the right track with independent sleep skills! An average 5 month old can usually handle about 2 - 2.25 hours of awake time in between naps. I would encourage you to put him to sleep for naps in the same place he sleeps at night, if you aren't doing that already. Darken the room as much as possible, I MEAN DARK!!! White noise can also be very helpful for daytime sleep. Nap length can take time to develop, but if he is falling asleep independently then that is a good start. I would make sure you are not feeding him within 30 minutes of nap time. Sometimes if they are taking a brief "rest" while feeding, that can take the edge off so they are not as tired at nap time. |
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Brittany Great, thank you so much! |
My 7 week old much prefers sleeping in rock n play (or on his mom!) the bassinet may be too flat? I've tried warming it up and swaddling etc etc - he is gassy so that may be why- though I do burp him. Suggestions? Thanks!
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Keriann M.
At 7 weeks old, the RnP is often a preferred sleeping place for babies because it is snug and cozy, and on a slight incline which helps a lot with babies with GI issues. It can become a sleep prop, however, so I would recommend trying to get him to sleep in the crib for at least 1 nap a day so he can start getting used to the crib. If naps are difficult, you may have better success at bedtime as sleep usually comes a little easier at night than during the day. I find that swaddling is most effective in the first 10 weeks, so keep it for now. I would give your best effort to try to get your little one to sleep in the crib for 1 nap a day for now. If that nap is short, then he can recoup some sleep in the RnP at the next nap. The more he is exposed to the crib, the easier the transition will become. |
My baby is 3.5 months old. She naps usually on someone, in the rock n' play or the carrier. SHe goes to sleep at night after a bottle, in a swing with LOUD white noise. When she wakes in the middle of the night, if she's not hungry, I can get her back to sleep by making the swing faster and the white noise louder.
At what point do I need to start getting a schedule (I'd like to have one) and getting her settled in a crib without a swing and the white noise that loud?
When and what should I start doing?
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Keriann M.
Hi Merle! Thank you for your question. I think you can start shaping your baby's sleep now. At 3.5 months, I wouldn't recommend doing a set daily schedule per se, but would be very strict with awake times. I would expect that she can likely handle about 1.5 hours of awake time, so I would be very consistent with offering naps 1.5 hours after she wakes from her previous sleep. If she is waking roughly at the same time each morning, then she will likely fall into her own predicable pattern, which will become more predictable for you. I would recommend having a set wake time in the morning (time you get her out of the crib to start your day) and a set bedtime at night to start shaping your days (I would stay within 30 minutes of your ideal times each day). I would keep the white noise, as this can be very helpful for sleep, especially naps. I think transitioning her to the crib now would be fine. You will likely have better success at bedtime than starting at a nap since sleep tends to come more easily at night than during the day. |
Hello and thank you in advance for your help! I have a 6 month old daughter who intermittently sleeps through the night (10-12 hours) or wakes once in the night. We have tried some interval sleep training about one month ago which seemed to help, but she still will sometimes wake once in the night and not settle herself well (we let her try, sometimes crying and fussing for about 10 minutes), so I end up feeding her (she is pumped breast milk+formula fed). She is typically going to bed between 6:30-7:30 (consistent bedtime routine of bath, bottle, and bed) and waking in the AM anywhere from 4:30-6:00. She does attend daycare and I have to be at work early, so if she is not up by 6am I have to wake her. Her naps at daycare are pretty inconsistent still...typically a few naps per day lasting anywhere from 30 minutes to 2 hours or more. I have a few questions:
1) How can I wean the middle of the night feeding completely and have her consistently sleep through the night? I know she is capable of it, so is there a way to not ever have to feed her? I feel like sometimes she gets so agitated, she can't self settle/soothe even though we put her down drowsy but awake for every nap and night time so she can get herself to sleep.
2) With daycare it is difficult, but is there a way to get her on a more consistent nap schedule? Or, what should her nap schedule be at this age?
3) Is there a way to get her to sleep until 5:30-6 every morning instead of waking at 4:30?
Thank you very much!!
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Keriann M.
For middle of the night feeds, I usually say to hold her to her personal best, so if you know she can go 10-12 hours without feeding then I would expect her to do that and stop offering feeds. Typically, if a feed is offered she will take it, but it is likely more for comfort than due to hunger. She may have a slight feeding/sleeping association if she is using that as a means to get drowsy at bedtime, so I would recommend switching up the order of your bedtime routine and do bottle, bath, bed instead to further break any feed/sleep associations (they can be very subtle sometimes). For the middle of the night, I would offer comfort to keep her calm but not enough to put her to sleep. Have a set time interval (I recommend 10 minutes) and go in and provide some comfort and reassurance every 10 minutes, but as soon as she is calm, leave the room again. Repeat every 10 minutes until she falls back to sleep. Usually, this method only takes a couple of nights for your baby to realize feedings are no longer an option. You always want to be sure you are giving her the opportunity to self-settle before going in. |
Hi! Thanks for your help! My 6 month old has always been a bad sleeper and terrible napper. I ST him so at night he goes down drowsy at 7, puts himself to sleep, and typically doesn't wake up for his first feeding until around midnight. He starts waking up hourly around 4:30, but I can usually get him to sleep/nurse until about 7 by putting him on my breast in the bed with me.
The issue is that he barely sleeps during the day at daycare, which he attends 5 days a week, and that leads to him being pretty fussy. The crib is in a pretty dark area and I brought in a sound machine that they run all day (all the other babies are sleeping better with it). He will only sleep in 15 minute spurts, either in someone's arms or because he is just so exhausted that he falls asleep when I am nursing him, so I am able to put him down and he will sleep for a bit. I think some of the problem is that by the time we get to the daycare, his window of being up for 1.5 hours has passed and he is overtired. In addition, he usually falls asleep for about 10 minutes on the car ride in. On the weekends I have noticed if i put him down for a nap around 1.5 hours after waking, he sleeps well the rest of the day. Any suggestions? Thank you!
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Keriann M.
Hi Shanna! Thank you for your question! Despite having sleep trained for bedtime, it definitely sounds like he still has a strong nursing/sleeping association since you are using that as a means to help him get back to sleep in the middle of the night. You may want to consider sleep training for middle of the night wakings as well. If he needs to feed, be sure you keep him awake during the feed, then lay him back in the crib to drift off to sleep again on his own. Due to the frequent wakings in the early morning hours, he is not getting quality sleep so is likely tired heading into daycare. At 6 months, most babies can handle an awake time of 2.5-3 hours (assuming they are getting adequate naps and nighttime sleep). So, it sounds like your little one is certainly operating on a significant sleep debt. Since bedtime seems to be going well, I would recommend you use the techniques you use at bedtime for every sleep scenario, including naps at daycare and middle of the night. Once he truly develops independent sleep skills and can consistently put himself to sleep, he will likely find it easier to fall asleep at daycare. I would encourage them to offer naps in consistent intervals to be sure he is not getting over-tired, rather than waiting for sleep cues (every 2 hours, then build up to every 3 with time). |
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Shanna This is really helpful! Thank you! |
New skills and nap problems
My 9 month old learned how to sit up from a lying down position and she is trying to pull herself up and she recently learned how to crawl. All is great but naptime is a challenge because she keeps practicing her new skills and it is taking about an hour for her to go to sleep. Sometimes I go in and lie her down and rub her back to sleep because she gets herself overtired and frustrated. It screws up her whole day since I try to put her down 2.5 hours after awake for first nap and then 3 hours for the second nap. Any advice or just wait out this period and hope she gets over it?? TIA!
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Keriann M.
Hi Stacey! Thank you for your question! Developmental milestones such as sitting up and crawling are notorious for interrupting sleep, especially naps. For the most part, you just have to wait it out until she masters her new skills. Once she does, typically her good sleep will return. However, it is important that you not develop any new "sleep props" in the meantime (i.e. rubbing her back until she is asleep) as this could become her preferred way to sleep and she will start demanding far beyond the new skill phase. If your nap attempts in the crib fail, you can always go for a car ride or stroller ride to see if she can take a little catnap to take the edge off. If she doesn't nap at all, then an early bedtime is the way to go (6:00 is not out of the question)! Staying consistent with your sleep boundaries during this time is important in seeing her through this transitional time. |
Hi Keriann!
My husband and I want to stop using the monitor at night for our 6-month old, and are wondering how to set an official "wake-up" time for her.
Our daughter is consistently inconsistent with her nighttime wakeups, and we want to get her to go back to sleep on her own without us coming in to give her the pacifier.
She goes to bed by 7:30pm (routine starts ~6 or 6:30) every night. Some nights she sleeps straight through until 5 or 6am, when she wakes up crying and I feed her. Other nights she wakes up anytime between 2 or 4am. We let her cry for 10-20 minutes, then she either falls back to sleep on her own or we put a pacifier in and she falls back asleep. She sometimes then repeats this cycle until it gets to be 5 or 5:30am, at which point I feed her.
Can we stop going in to comfort her during the night? Should I only feed her at the same time every morning? How do I push this morning feed to 6:30am?
She is always awake when she goes down for naps and for bedtime. When we comfort her during the night we just replace the pacifier in her mouth. We use a white noise machine and we have blackout shades in her room. I always wait until 5am at the earliest to feed her.
Thanks!
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Keriann M.
Hi Aimee! Thank you for the question! The best way to stop having to go in to replace the pacifier multiple times a night is to stop using for sleep altogether. If she can learn to fall asleep without the pacifier, her frequent wakings will likely subside. In order to push her mornings later, I would have a minimum wakeup time of at least 6am. I would treat any wakings before that our like a night waking and encourage her to go back to sleep on her own. Do your very best to keep her in the crib until 6am every morning to help set her circadian rhythm. As she adjusts to being left in the crib and holding off for a feeding, you can slowly increase the time in 10 minute increments. So, start waiting until 6:10 for a few days, then 6:20, then eventually 6:30 a.m. if that is your target. Be patient! This kind of adjustment can take several weeks to get your baby used to waiting for the morning feed, but if she starts to learn there is no feeding to wake up for, it is more likely she will go back to sleep for a bit longer. |
Thank you, Keriann! Dream Factory Sleep Solutions offers a variety of sleep services for babies, toddlers and preschoolers. Check out Keriann’s profile for more info!