Personal Development Coach Jessica Eley is here to answer questions about returning to work, keeping a marriage or partnership strong with kids and finding work-life balance. Ask her about mom-guilt, managing feelings of inadequacy and jealousy and not losing yourself in your kids while still helping them feel loved and cared for. Check out Jessica's profile for more information about her and Jessica Eley Coaching.
Hi Jessica, I was lucky to take 6 months off from work following the birth of our baby and will be returning as of the new year. I have been doing the brunt of the housework and caring for the baby on my leave. My husband helps when he is home but I would like us to shift to a more even division of labor when I go back. What can I do now to help prepare? Do you have any general tips for moms returning to work? Thank you!
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Jessica E.
Hi Julie - |
Welcome personal development coach, Jessica Eley! Jessica is here to answer questions about balancing relationships, careers and parenthood. Worried about returning to work from maternity leave? Curious how to navigate the changing roles of your relationship now that you have a baby? Jessica is here to help!
Hi Jessica! I am very lucky to be my own boss and make my own hours. However, I can't seem to find any "me time"... mostly just to work out. I find that when I am not working, I want to be spending time with the kids. What are some good strategies for carving out that "me time"?
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Jessica E.
Hi Kasey - |
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Kasey Thank you, very helpful! |
My little one is 6-months old and during the work week I find that I am busy the minute I get home from work between feeding the baby, preparing meals, washing pump parts/bottles, bath, going through a bed-time routine that I rarely have time for myself. By the time I put the baby to bed I find myself falling asleep on the couch. There is little to no time for exercise, reading, catching up on more work, having a conversation with my husband, etc. I can't even keep my eyes open! Any tips on developing a routine that creates a little balance after work?
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Jessica E.
Hi Megan - |
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Megan Thank you Jessica! I am definitely at odds with my "old self" and trying to keep up many of the things I did prior to starting our family. Clearly, I'm hitting a sort of breaking point after being back at work for 3 months now. Though both my husband and I are working (like the post below - I can relate :)) I am taking on the brunt of parenting/housework responsibilities. I really like your comments on what I can stop doing and also writing down those non-negotiable/priorities for myself. |
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Jessica E.
Yup, makes sense Megan - what we valued pre-kids vs. with-kids changes! If you give yourself the opportunity to sit down and make some conscious choices about what matters NOW, you'll be much happier because you have a framework for making your decisions. |
I have an amazing toddler and a very demanding job with erratic hours and travel. I have managed to figure out the work/child balance for the most part. I do have guilt when my daughter cries when I leave for trips asking if she can go with me but normal days it's usually ok. I'm doing the best I can to make everyone happy, including myself, but I'm having a hard time finding time to get to the gym. I don't want to sacrifice more time with my daughter and I'm always feeling behind with work in general. Any advice for fitting the gym back into my life? As it is I'm only sleeping about 5 hours a night to fit it all in.
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Jessica E.
If I had a mantra of motherhood that I share with everyone, it's this: You can have anything you want, but you cannot have everything you want at the same time. That's not a bad thing because focus on what we really want and value helps us get more of it. |
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Paula Yes it does help! I think the re-evaluation is key. Priorities shift so that makes sense. Thank you! |
I have a 5 week old baby and am struggling with this new adjustment to having a little person with me all the time. Prior to having a baby I worked full-time at a relatively demanding job so all of this downtime is great but also very different for me. I am nursing so it is tough to be away for too long. I was wondering if you had any suggestions for new moms struggling with this new normal to still feel like themselves.
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Jessica E.
Hi Karina - |
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Karina Thank you so much!!! This was so refreshing to hear and these are things I can definitely work to implement in my life. This reminds me that I need to slow down and try to enjoy this time. |
I have a 3yr old and an 8 month old, and just started a new job in October. I am still trying to learn the ropes at work, and I have tons of mom guilt that I can't be home with my boys full or part time. My 3yo is a mess when I pick him up from school, and needs to be snuggled most of the night until it's time for bed. I feel like with that, plus getting dinner ready etc, I don't spend much time with the baby. My husband doesnt get home until around bath time, so most of the evening is on me. Most nights, I go to bed cranky, frustrated, and filled with self doubt.
I want to ask my boss if I can work from home 2x/week but don't know if it's too soon (the others in my department work from home 1-2x/wk).
Any advice on that and/or how to deal with evenings? Or any words of wisdom? Will I always have mom guilt of some kind?
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Jessica E.
Hey Jo - |
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Jo Thank you so much, this was wonderfully written. |
Hi Jessica,
My husband has an incredibly demanding job with erratic and intense hours. I have a much more flexible job. We have an infant and a nanny for 40 hours a week. Because my job is much more flexible than my husband's and requires fewer hours, I end up picking up the slack around the house and with our child. If the nanny is late, I cover the difference. If our child is sick, I'm the one taking him to the doctor. My husband does his best to help out, but the reality is just that my career feels like it's playing second fiddle and it's hard not to get a bit frustrated by the situation. I also tend to feel more urgency with regards to getting tasks done around the house (my spouse is more laissez faire), which certainly doesn't help the situation! Any tips?
Thank you.
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Jessica E.
Hi Kat (and Rachna) - |
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Katie Thanks Jessica. Yes, that is very helpful. I definitely need to do a better job prioritizing & making sense of what actually *needs* to get done. It's a hard skill to learn, but I'll give it my best shot! Thanks! Kat |
Thank you, Jessica! There are a variety of opportunities to work one-on-one with Jessica through Jessica Eley Coaching to achieve your personal and professional goals. Check out her profile for more info!