Pop-Up: Sleep Support Live Q&A

Hi Sarah,

The only real way to do it is cold turkey. Definitely do not cut the tip off as that is a safety hazard (baby could choke!). It will probably be hard for a night or two, then things should improve. :)

Arielle

Hi Sarah - I hope the tips I shared will help your baby drop the pacifier! I am one of Tinyhood's sleep consultants and Tinyhood has a service where we can continue messaging privately for only $15. Let me know if you are interested!

Hi Arielle yes I have subscribed to the service . I

Hi Jenna,

Surprisingly, teething really does not cause prolonged sleep disruption. Maybe a night or two at most. It sounds like she's probably just hitting some developments (cognitive and likely physical as well) which can absolutely disrupt sleep. I would definitely recommend retraining. I would also just be sure she's otherwise healthy - ear infections can cause sleep disturbance and sometimes the only sign is poor sleep!

Best,
Arielle

Hi Jenna - I hope the tips I shared will help your baby get a better night's rest! I am one of Tinyhood's sleep consultants and Tinyhood has a service where we can continue messaging privately for only $15. Let me know if you are interested!

Hi Caroline,

For how long has this been going on?

Arielle

3 nights so far. She is exhausted in the morning and then does two naps 45min, 1-1/2h (she was transitioning to 1, but not all the way there yet).
I did some sleep training at 8months (or so), but have since always gone back to letting her cry for 10min when her schedule gets messed up (travel, illness). Usually, she falls asleep within 10min both naps and nighttime sleep.. If she doesn't it means (or used to mean) something was wrong/she was not going to fall asleep.

Ok - I would take her to the doctor. I suspect an ear infection. https://www.drgreene.com/qa-articles/detecting-ear-infection/

Hi Caroline - I hope the tips I shared will help your baby get a better night's rest! Were you able to get her in to the doctor? I am one of Tinyhood's sleep consultants and Tinyhood has a service where we can continue messaging privately for only $15. Let me know if you are interested!

Hi Emily,

It sounds like you need to do some formal sleep training with them so that they learn to fall asleep (and back to sleep) on their own. What time do they nap and for how long?

Arielle

They usually nap for 1.5 to 2 hours, starting between 10 and 11. They are early risers, too, and are usually up around 5. We sleep trained when they were 9 months, but hadn't considered doing so again.

What time do they go to bed?

We aim to get them in bed by 7:30, though they have been fighting sleep until anywhere from 8:00 to 9:00. As a result, they've been super cranky and little zombies, which is hard to see.

Ok, bedtime is too late. If they are napping so early in the day, I'd aim to get them down for bed around 6:30. This will help prevent them from becoming overtired by bedtime. I would recommend removing the nightlight unless you feel they are fearful of the dark. I would also recommend considering a sleep training method for them as it's clear that they are dependent on you to assist them in falling asleep/back to sleep.

Thank you, Arielle! We'll give it a shot.

Let me know how it goes!

Hi Divya,

I would get her down to 3 naps for right now. Aim for something like the following:

Wake by 7 a.m.
First nap around 8:30 a.m.
Second nap around 12:30 p.m.
Third nap about 90 minutes after waking from second nap but ending no later than 5 p.m.
Bedtime 90 minutes after waking from the third nap.

Let me know if you have questions!
Arielle

Thanks, that's really helpful! One clarification: does that mean I should wake her up for the day by 7 even if she would otherwise also until 7:15/7:30?

Otherwise sleep until 7:15/7:30, sorry! She's usually my "alarm clock" since my son (usually) doesn't wake up until after 7:30.

Sorry, a second clarification - would you say we should risk letting her get a bit overtired to "make" this schedule? As expected, she goes down easier when we pre-empt the overtiredness...though her being overtired doesn't seem to impact the length of the nap (unlike my son who would sleep LESS the more overtired he got). Thank you!

Yes, I would wake her by 7. Yes, I would massage her toward that schedule even if it means she might be entering the OT zone. If she's wildly exhausted and can't stay awake, obviously put her down. The schedule should be your goal, but obviously reading her signs is also important!

Got it - thanks so much! We'll try that starting tomorrow morning 🤞🏽

Great! Let me know how it goes. :)

Hi Divya - I hope the tips I shared will help your baby get a better night's rest! I am one of Tinyhood's sleep consultants and Tinyhood has a service where we can continue messaging privately for only $15. Let me know if you are interested!

Hi Cara,

What does his daytime schedule look like? At what time does he nap and for how long does he sleep?

Arielle

First nap around 2 hrs after waking, subsequent after about 2.5 hrs wake time. Bed time I aim for 2 hrs after last nap. Naps can be anywhere from 30 mins to 1.5 hrs. Usually at least one long nap per day.

Is there any regularity as far as which nap is longer?

Also, my guess is that he probably has a feed-to-sleep association, which is why he wakes so many times a night. How is his weight? Is he eating enough during the day?

He's really small, only 15 lbs 3 oz at the 6 month check up. He never cries for hunger, only around sleep. As for which nap is longer it's pretty random. There already has been so much crying I'm finding the nap training difficult.

Are you nursing or bottle feeding?

Nursing exclusively

And how many times does he nurse during the day?

Many - I'm not sure, I don't count. Maybe 10 times or more. I'm not sure if it's better to nurse more often or to wait longer between feeds to ensure he gets the hindmilk?

Have you considered chatting with one of our lactation consultants?

No I'll do that

Yes, I would do that. He could be waking out of hunger OR he could be waking because he has a nurse-to-sleep association. I would definitely recommend checking in with a lactation consultant first. :)

He definitely has that and we are trying to break it.

Ok. I would still speak with the lactation consultant about how frequently to feed. :)

Hi Cara - I hope the tips I shared will help your baby get a better night's rest! I am one of Tinyhood's sleep consultants and Tinyhood has a service where we can continue messaging privately for only $15. Let me know if you are interested!

Hi Cindy,

If you're comfortable with Ferber, I would just go for it. No need to work on one thing at a time. :)

Arielle

Hi Cindy - I hope the tips I shared will help your baby get a better night's rest! I am one of Tinyhood's sleep consultants and Tinyhood has a service where we can continue messaging privately for only $15. Let me know if you are interested!

Hi Jenny,

It definitely sounds like she needs to be retrained to learn to fall asleep on her own again. With regard to bed timing, I'll need to know what time she typically naps.

Arielle

Usually between 12-2 at daycare. On weekends, if we're out and about, sometimes from 1-3ish. Nap starts no earlier than 11:30.

Thanks! Jenny

Ok, I think she's going to bed too late. I'd try getting her down for bed around 4/4.5 hours after she wakes from her nap - so during daycare days, that would mean having her asleep by 6:30 at the latest. It sounds as though she is overtired by bedtime, which causes the fighting of bedtime. I would also definitely choose a training method to help her fall asleep independently again. If she already knew how to do so previously, it shouldn't be too hard to get her back on track. It will just take consistency!

Hi Jenny - I hope the tips I shared will help your toddler get a better night's rest! I am one of Tinyhood's sleep consultants and Tinyhood has a service where we can continue messaging privately for only $15. Let me know if you are interested!

Hi Cristina,

Can you tell me what his schedule roughly looks like? What times do you try to nap him? When does he go to bed for the night?

Arielle

Hi,
Thanks for quick answer
He normally wakes up at 6.30-7 then I calculate 2 hours since that time and put him down again. ( he gets cranky around that time).
Finally his night sleep is about 8-8.30 after his bath.
Thanks

Ok, so his bedtime is likely far too late. At 4.5 months, I'd be aiming for a schedule like the following:

Wake by 7 a.m.
Nap 1 around 8:30 a.m.
Nap 2 around 12/12:30 p.m. (12 if nap 1 is less than 1 hour)
Nap 3 90 minutes after waking from second nap
Bedtime 90 minutes after waking from nap 3 but no sooner than 5 p.m.

When babies are taking short naps throughout the day, they are not getting restorative sleep which leaves them overtired by bedtime. When a baby is overtired his brain fills with cortisol, adrenaline, and norepinephrine. These hormones make it difficult for a baby to fall asleep and/or stay asleep. This is also true for naps - if you push a baby's wake time too much, he can become overtired and have difficulty extending his naps.

In addition to an age appropriate schedule, he probably needs to learn how to fall asleep independently without any assistance from you or another care giver. I would consider looking into some sleep training methods in order to get him to fall asleep independently.

With regard to naps, I would use "crib hour" for naps 1 and 2. You would use whatever your chosen training method is and when he wakes at the 30-minute mark, you would use that method until it has been one full hour from the time he fell asleep to attempt to get him to fall back to sleep. After one hour, if he has not fallen back asleep, you would get him up and move on with the day until the next scheduled nap time.

Let me know if you have questions!

I tried putting him down at 7 rather than 8 and he spent 2 hours nursing and fussing before he fell asleep.
How could I put him down without having him cry and not nursing?
Thanks

7 is still probably too late. His third nap should end no later than 5 p.m., which would put bedtime around 6:30. This would mean you'd aim to have him ASLEEP by 6:30, so your routine would begin earlier.

In addition, it sounds like he has a nurse-to-sleep association. You would need to look into gentle sleep training methods to help him learn to fall asleep independently without nursing.

Hi Cristina - I hope the tips I shared will help your baby get a better night's rest! I am one of Tinyhood's sleep consultants and Tinyhood has a service where we can continue messaging privately for only $15. Let me know if you are interested!

Hi. Yes, please Tell Me how can I do that. Thanks

Hi Cristina! You can go to tinyhood.com/subscribe :)

Hi Vicky,

It could be any combination of those things - sharing a room, his age (there is a LOT going on developmentally at that age), etc. That being said, I would probably not address anything until after you move. Once you move, I would recommend setting up his new room FIRST and make sure it's all unpacked the first night you put him in there. Let him get used to the house for a few nights, then I would pull the plug and put him in his own room. You'll likely need to figure out a method you're comfortable with using because, given his age, he will likely fight back a bit. ;)

Arielle

Thanks so much, to make matters more complicated we travel 2 days after we move so I'm thinking we leave putting him in there until we get back. We are happy to do CIO just wanted to be reasonable to him too so a few days of acclamation before pulling the plug sounds good to me. Thanks again

Smart plan. I'm here if you need me after the move!

Hi Victoria - I hope the tips I shared will help your baby get a better night's rest! I am one of Tinyhood's sleep consultants and Tinyhood has a service where we can continue messaging privately for only $15. Let me know if you are interested!

Hi Andrea,

It sounds like you'll probably need to do some sleep training with her/them. I would recommend looking into sleep training methods that you feel comfortable implementing with consistency (there are gentle methods and firm methods - you'll need to find something you feel comfortable with). I would NOT recommend the Rock 'n Play for any sleep - it's not suited for sleep and is a safety risk.

You'll likely need to do some nap training with them, too. This may involve some crying depending on the method you choose. What times are you trying to nap them? Do they eventually fall asleep?

I would not introduce the Merlin at this point. Do they still have a strong startle reflex?

Arielle

Lucy does, Liam not so much. I secretly just tested it out on a nap and he has never slept longer! But I totally understand what you are saying. I have read so many sleep training books. Was settling on the Sleep Easy method, they are all kind of the same but I think I am ready. I cave a lot as with twins there is always one that goes down easy and the other not so I just want a moment....but short term pain for the long term :)

Liam can often put himself to sleep. I am trying to work on the 1.5 wake schedule. So they get up around 7, first nap 8:30, etc. until I start bedtime routines at 6:30 and they are usually in bed at 7. Thatbeing said the naps have been really inconsistent and if I am getting an hour I am lucky and sometimes the third nap wont happen for one of them :(

Yes, with twins you definitely need to keep them on a synched schedule. If one wakes, it's best to wake the other within 15 minutes to keep them on a similar schedule. And yes! There is always one baby that fights sleep more than the other. And I have to tell you, in boy/girl twins, it is SO frequently the GIRL who is the fighter! ;)

I would aim for a schedule like the following:

wake by 7
first nap around 8:30
second nap around 12/12:30 (12 if the first nap is under an hour)
third nap about 1.5 hours after waking from second nap
bedtime 1.5 hours after third nap

They may be quite overtired by 7 p.m. bedtime especially if they are skipping that second nap! When a baby is overtired, his brain fills with hormones that make it difficult for the baby to fall asleep and/or stay asleep. If she is extra bad with her naps, then she's extra overtired by bedtime so an early bedtime will be your best friend. Never put a baby to bed any sooner than 5 p.m. - but 5 p.m. bedtime temporarily when naps are bad can be a LIFESAVER. Really!

Hi Andrea - I hope the tips I shared will help your babies get a better night's rest! I am one of Tinyhood's sleep consultants and Tinyhood has a service where we can continue messaging privately for only $15. Let me know if you are interested!

Hi Olga!

I would actually argue otherwise - it sounds like she's quite overtired. At 9 months, an age appropriate schedule would look like:

Wake between 6 and 7 a.m.
First nap at 9/9:30 a.m.
Second nap at 1/1:30 p.m.
Bedtime 3/3.5 hours after waking from second nap

That would put bedtime closer to 6:30/7ish for her. When a baby is overtired, her brain fills with cortisol, adrenaline, and norepinephrine. These hormones make it difficult for a baby to fall asleep and/or stay asleep. It's like when an adult gets a second wind - it can be difficult to fall asleep once those hormones flood the brain.

Hope that makes sense!

That does make sense! On average, how long should it take to transition to a new sleep schedule? Any suggestions for helping her "stay up" until her first nap during this time? And tips for adjusting to the earlier bedtime? Many thanks!

Typically, children take to it pretty quickly! I would work on moving the nap a little bit later by 15 minutes every other day until you get to 9/9:30ish. As for bedtime, in my opinion, there's no reason to slowly back that up especially if she's partying in her crib at that time. I would just go ahead and move it right away!

Hi Olga - I hope the tips I shared will help your baby get a better night's rest! I am one of Tinyhood's sleep consultants and Tinyhood has a service where we can continue messaging privately for only $15. Let me know if you are interested!

Hi Devon,

Is this something new? Or has it been going on for a while?

Arielle

It has been going on for a while now (close to 2 months). I nursed our baby at least once per night until he was 9 months old. Starting at 9 months, we weaned him off all night nursing, and the consistent short-lived cries started then. Last night, he cried out at around 9:30 pm (just 2-3 cries) and the was quiet until 6:15 am. Last week, he also had short cries about 40 minutes into his 80 minute naps, but usually he cries out just in the last third of the night.

I don't find this concerning at all. He could even be dreaming. The sleep that happens during the second part of the night is the lightest, so it's possible he's just shifting into the next sleep cycle and is likely not even fully awake. As long as he isn't seemingly tired during the day, I don't think it's anything to worry about and I would recommend turning the sound off on the monitor. ;)

Thanks for your opinion, Arielle. Turning off the monitor would probably help me get a better night sleep!

Of course! And yes - I had to do that myself. Babies are LOUD sleepers and I am a LIGHT sleeper. Plus, you know, mom ears are bionic. ;)

Hi Devon - I hope the tips I shared will help your baby get a better night's rest! I am one of Tinyhood's sleep consultants and Tinyhood has a service where we can continue messaging privately for only $15. Let me know if you are interested!

Hi Kiera,

A few things:

1 - Yes, all of those developments can disrupt sleep!

2 - Her schedule seems a bit off for her age. I would recommend the following:

Wake by 7 a.m.
Nap 1 around 9 a.m.
Nap 2 around 1 p.m.
Bedtime about 3 hours after she wakes from her second nap

It sounds as though she needs some predictability to her daytime schedule, which will help her overnight. It also sounds like she probably has a nurse-to-sleep association. I would recommend limiting her to one night feed and setting a cutoff time of no sooner than midnight.

3 - I would also NOT recommend getting her up to play in the night. This is confusing to her entire metabolism.

Let me know if you have any other questions!

Arielle

Thanks Arielle-

I like the idea of your schedule but am not sure of the best moves for getting there with where we currently are. Do you have suggestions for how to reboot today to try to get to your proposed schedule? Thanks!

If you're on vacation, I would wait until you return!

Hi Kiera - I hope the tips I shared will help your baby get a better night's rest! I am one of Tinyhood's sleep consultants and Tinyhood has a service where we can continue messaging privately for only $15. Let me know if you are interested!

Hi Tina,

Developmentally, it would be very difficult to retrain without the use of a crib. Are you able to drop the crib mattress all the way to the ground? This is often a good solution.

At what time does she nap during the day? And has her schedule always been so late?

Arielle

Hi Tina - I hope the tips I shared will help your toddler get a better night's rest! I am one of Tinyhood's sleep consultants and Tinyhood has a service where we can continue messaging privately for only $15. Let me know if you are interested!

Has he always woken at that time? And does he fall back to sleep easily afterward? Is he bottle fed or nursed? How many times a day is he nursing/how many ounces of formula is he getting during the day?

He doesn't always wake up at that time but I would say that 80% of the time he does, it is the feeding that I can't manage to get rid of because I usually end up caving assuming that he is hungry after sleeping for 10-11 hours.

He is exclusively breastfed with solids twice a day: He nurses at 9:00, 11:00 (attempted feeding), 12:30, 2:00, 4:00, 5:30 (attempted feeding), 6:30- the amount is unknown since I nurse him. He gets 4-5 tbsps of solids at 11:00 and 5:00, I try to nurse him after as well but usually he does not want to eat anymore.

Ok - it's possible that it's time to cut out the third nap, though my feeling is that he may actually still be hungry at that hour. Some babies are! If he consistently falls back asleep easily after the feed, I would honestly keep it for now. In another month or so, I would then consider dropping it. His schedule is fantastic at this point.

Yes, after I feed him in the morning and put him in the crib he usually rolls back over and falls quickly asleep until 7 AM. I will keep it for now and see if he drops it on his own next month, fingers crossed! Thank you so much for your help! How do I know when it is time to drop the third nap and should I change the other two nap times to adjust to the longer awake time in the evening?

Given that he seems to be doing great with this schedule, then I would stick with it until he's not! Typically when it's time to drop a nap, he will fight that third nap or skip it. He may also begin to have night wakings or stop falling back asleep after that early feed. You can find me here if any of these things begin to occur and I can help you through that transition when it's time. :)

Thank you so much for everything!

You're very welcome! I'm happy to help!

Hi Brittania - I hope the tips I shared will help your baby get a better night's rest! I am one of Tinyhood's sleep consultants and Tinyhood has a service where we can continue messaging privately for only $15. Let me know if you are interested!

Hi Liz,

Can you tell me what the rest of hi daytime schedule looks like? When does he nap during the day? How long are his naps? Do you plan to keep him in your room for a certain amount of time?

Thanks,
Arielle

Sure. He usually wakes around 630/7am and takes his first nap about 1.5 hours after that. Then usually sleeps every 2 hours or so. He is a major cat napper so I usually wear him in the Bjorn and when he's in that, he sleeps 2 from 1-2 hours.
I have a 2.5 year old as well, so we are usually always on the go, making it difficult for consistent naps in his bassinet. My plan is to keep him in our room, in his bassinet until about 6 months. He also sleeps swaddled with one arm out. I could try the Merlin suit I suppose.

I would love a suggested schedule as well if you have any ideas! We sort of wing it....

Hi Elizabeth,

Sorry, I didn't get this until after the Q&A ended. A suggested schedule at this age is:

Wake by 7 a.m.
Nap 1 around 8:30
Nap 2 around 12/12:30 (depending on how long the first nap is)
Nap 3 about 1.5 hours after waking from nap 2
Bedtime about 1.5 hours after waking from nap 3

The problem with napping outside of the crib is that it's not as restorative, which then leads to an overtired baby by bedtime. I would encourage you to get at least one (if not two) naps in the crib. This will help him overall!